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26 Episodes 2001 - 2001
Episode 1
Love is a Four Letter Word is a 26 part ABC TV series which follows the lives of a group of twenty-something friends who live and work in an inner-city pub run by Angus and his girlfriend Albee. They are fighting to keep the pokies out and live music happening in their pub while dealing with the issues of relationships, pregnancies, work and careers. Inspired by the British drama series "This Life"
Episode 2
Larissa, Albee's younger, dangerous sister, hits town. Albee's got to get her back to school but commitments to Blue Bear publishing are getting in her way. She has an author Tom Mattingly who has missed yet another deadline. When she forces him to show her what he's got, Tom coughs up twelve pathetic pages. Albee's in trouble, she has busted her balls trying to convince her bosses that they should take Tom on in the first place. They've invested a shitload and two years down the track she has zilch to show for it. Angus offers a crazy solution. Swap Albee's own novel for Tom's. This she does and momentarily appeases her bosses Roy and Maya. But then Tom finds out, and he's not happy. On top of all this Albee has to try and get Campbell (her ex one night stand) to stop stalking her. It takes Paul just a few hours to get Leeanna into the sack. It takes her just a few hours to dump him. Larissa may only be seventeen, but she's her own woman. Klaus the new barman has already fallen for her and is devastated by her fling with Paul. Angus is unimpressed with Paul but he's still preoccupied with the magnitude of Juliette's pregnancy. When Albee finds out that Juliette is pregnant and enquires about the father, Angus chooses to lie.
Episode 3
Melissa Duvet, TV celebrity and Paul's road rage victim, (it was Melissa's Porsche that Paul kicked to death in a drunken anti consumerist rage) is out for financial revenge. By a fortuitous turn of events Paul ends up with Melissa's laundry and thus begins a campaign to woo her into submission. Melissa confides to Paul that she has always secretly wanted to be a singer and Paul, seeing an opportunity to alleviate pressure on himself, offers her a gig singing at the pub. It's Angus's worst nightmare. First the pokies, now Melissa Duvet. Larissa and Albee meanwhile are at loggerheads. Larissa is refusing to go back to school. She wants in at the pub, thinks she'd make a great barmaid and even convinces Angus to give her a job. Which doesn't exactly impress Albee. Albee is under a lot of pressure so when the work experience boy Quentin casually declares that he's just been told he is terminally ill and has only a few months to live, Albee finds herself inappropriately laughing hysterically. Albee ends up making amends by taking Quentin to the pub and introducing him to a bottle of tequila. Together with Larissa they get drunk listening to horrible cheesy songs by Melissa Duvet.
Episode 4
Angus can't sleep. He can't sleep because he has a lot on his mind. Primarily he is still unsure whether to tell Albee about Juliette and the baby thing. Bernie is putting pressure on Angus to do just that. But Angus is still unsure. Meanwhile, Albee's got a lot on her plate. She's mortified when Maya chooses to exploit Quentin's terminal illness by turning it into a diary. She's also trying to deal with her sister's new boyfriend, who according to Larissa, quite likes a bit of bondage. On top of all that she's aware that Angus is acting very strangely - but doesn't appear to want to talk about it, which is all very interesting. A lack of sleep, guilt over Albee and his hatred of poker machines all converge upon Angus on the night Stella One Eleven are playing. During the gig, much to the surprise of Albee and the pub patrons, Angus drags one of the poker machines out onto the street and kicks it to death. As Angus is battering the machine, Bernie arrives with Juliette and a bottle of champagne, to announce their wedding plans.
Episode 5
Other than the growing symptoms of his phantom pregnancy, discovering that Larissa's boyfriend, Dean appears to be dealing in all manner of illicit goods, and that the government is taking an active interest in his GBH of a poker machine, things are going very well for Angus. Angus has decided Albee doesn't need to know about his child to be and the two of them are back to their normal, passionate selves. So much so in fact that Angus has unilaterally declared his fidelity to Albee. Bernie's wedding is in three weeks and the reception is in the pub. Work is not going well for Albee. She's got a fight on her hands with Maya and Roy. They want to axe Tom Mattingley. Tom's book is Albee's baby and she won't stand for it. To mollify Albee, Roy contracts an independent assessment of the work. The assessor is Paul, who by now has learnt that Albee has shafted his chances of ever getting a job at Blue Bear. Consequently Paul takes great delight in trashing Tom's book. He writes a very funny, scathing assessment which leaves Maya and Roy in hysterics. It's the final nail in the coffin for Mattingly. When Albee learns that Roy and Maya value his opinion over hers, she resigns.
Episode 6
Albee tries to live with her decision to quit work. But no-one seems to believe it. Not Angus, nor Roy . Nor Tom or Quentin, both of whom need her ongoing assistance. On top of all this Larissa is hanging out with her drug dealer boyfriend. It's in the context of this pseudo-parenting of Tom, Quentin and Larissa that Albee is trying to accept Paul's new position as re-writer of the Tom Mattingly novel - and much as she tries to be adult about the whole thing, Albee ends up meeting her innerchild. While Paul pays the physical consequences, it's Angus who bears the financial cost.
Episode 7
Angus's big secret is burning a hole in the side of his conscience. The fact that his father Bernie and Juliette have bought into the secret appears to have made things even worse. Meanwhile Albee, who has had second thoughts about returning to Blue Bear, learns that Maya has hired Paul Bannister to do the rewrite on the Tom Mattingly novel. This does nothing to improve relations between Paul and Albee. Angus finds himself caught in the middle of the battlefield between his best friend and his lover. Albee has other concerns of her own. Her sister Larissa seems to have got back together with Dean, despite the fact that Dean gave her a black eye. She takes matters into her own hands in trying to break up the relationship. Albee has to try and do all this while also dealing with Quentin who has decided to stop chemotherapy and take cocaine. Klaus's gambling problems have worsened. He continues to play the poker machines despite Angus's earlier warning and Angus is left with no option but to sack him.
Episode 8
Paul is The Man - or so he thinks. He's priming himself for his meeting with Big Bear where he's about to do a deal to commission his book-the same book that was once Tom Mattingly's until Paul assessed it, completely trashed it and had Tom cut off. Albee is furious and has quit her job in protest. Just as Paul is having visions of himself in a year's time, being presented with the Booker Prize in acknowledgment of his monumental genius, the tables are turned. He arrives at Blue Bear to discover there's been a mix-up. Penguin have been sent a copy of Tom Mattingly's book and they love it. Tom Mattingly is back on the Big Bear slate. In fact Tom can triple his advance now Big Bear and Penguin are fighting over him. He's the happiest man on the planet. Meanwhile, Bernie and Juliette get married and Angus is starting to feel something that might just be relief. Watching the wedding vows, he starts to get excited. Maybe the wedding will finally bring closure to the whole terrible secret. Maybe he can actually move on. Angus makes the mistake of leaving his biggest enemies behind at the bar. Paul and Larissa are more than a little drunk and are pleased to find a sympathetic ear for their grievances. In a moment that looks like a drunken hack but might be more like pure evil, Paul makes a terrible slip up.
Episode 9
Angus wakes up in the morning after Bernie's wedding with the hangover to end all hangovers. It doesn't seem humanly possible that Angus could feel any worse - and then he remembers-Larissa knows he is the father of Juliette's baby. Paul will have to pay for letting the cat out of the bag, but he will have to wait because Larissa's not prepared to. The battle between Larissa's love for Angus and her loyalty for her sister is melting Larissa's brain and it only seems fair that Angus should be the one to help her sort it out - and if Angus weren't genetically hardwired to making his life more complicated then it should be, he probably would. Albee is in the business of making life more complicated too. When Roy begs for Albee to hold his hand through one last meeting with the big wigs, he gets more then he bargained for. Albee will give Roy the question of loyalty to consider, a matter that he has long tried to avoid. Angus wonders if the answer to all this complexity lies in running away to the country - if only life were that simple.
Episode 10
Everything Angus touches turn to crap or so it will seem to him. What Angus doesn't know is that things are going to get worse, a lot worse. To start with he's just pashed his girlfriend's sister - there's no way he's going to let things continue down that particular road and neither will Larissa - but what's more disturbing is the fact he went there in the first place. Before he really has a chance to sort things out with Larissa, Angus is distracted by a very distressed Bernie. Juliette has disappeared-done a runner, the morning after her wedding in fact. Bernie is convinced she has been kidnapped and elicits Angus's support in trawling the streets of Newtown in search of his bride. Angus will learn that Juliette's disappearance has something to do with him too. Meanwhile, Albee has convinced Roy to sever all links with Big Bear, (their parent company) and its executive director-and Roy's estranged wife Maya. It takes some doing, but Roy finally agrees to cut the umbilical cord between the two companies. A new publishing firm is formed-Blue Beard. The trouble is, Blue Beard is broke - and it's going to take a publishing coup to lead it out of the financial doldrums. Albee will have her work cut out for her.
Episode 11
People are really starting to behave weirdly. Or at least that's how things are beginning to look to Albee. Larissa it seems is definitely holding onto some dark secret. Angus has been acting weird for a while now. - He and Paul have had a major falling out, and Angus has kicked Paul out of the pub. Definitely something weird going down there. Albee wonders whether Larissa and Angus's bizarre behaviour are connected. Meanwhile, Quentin's illness has taken a turn for the worse. He's in hospital for chemotherapy. Larissa and Albee feel really guilty that they haven't kept in contact. When Klaus shaves his own head in a sympathetic gesture for the bald Quentin, Larissa starts to wonder whether Klaus should be the man in her life.
Episode 12
The bomb has dropped. Angus' worst nightmare has come true. Albee knows - at least she thinks she knows - but the idea of Angus having impregnated Juliette, his father's accountant, and having kept secret, is so crazy that Albee isn't altogether sure how to deal with it. Frightened of what such an accusation might reveal about her take on the relationship, Albee chooses to test the theory out with some independent observers before she confronts Angus. Larissa's new relationship with Klaus bears the taint of her guilt when Larissa has to play innocent to Albee's need for a shoulder to cry on. Tom Mattingly is able to deliver an adult perspective on Albee's inability to go straight to the source and ask Angus outright. - And then, Juliette herself walks straight into the middle of the problem. Back to face her own demons, Juliette unwittingly confirms Albee's worst fears. But it is Paul, of all people, who unwittingly puts the final nail in the coffin. He races to try and prep Angus for the explosion about to happen, but Angus knows there is no avoiding the confrontation that's coming his way. It's been such a long time coming, and it's time to face the music.
Episode 13
Sure Albee still loves Angus, she can even understand the situation that led him to impregnate his father's accountant-what Albee is having trouble coming to terms with is the fact that Angus didn't have the guts to own up to her. While Angus tries to work out things with Albee he also has to try and pacify the local residents. Particularly the likes of Rachel Fox, chief noise complainer and the bane of his life. Aware that he has Daniel Johns of Silver Chair playing in his pub that night, and aware that the gig will draw huge crowds and generate heaps of noise, Angus will attempt to bribe Rachel, offering her money to stay away. But Rachel is not interested in taking a bribe from Angus, interestingly she turns up to the gig and even more interestingly enjoys herself. The gig itself was designed as a litmus test to see whether the Poker machines or the bands are the real draw card for the pub. Angus sweetens the challenge by even offering ten dollars out of the pub till to anyone who desires to still play the poker machine while the band are on stage. The night is a huge success. Angus is seen as a modern day hero of sorts, he wonders whether this will be enough to win back Albee.
Episode 14
Larissa is dead. Hard to believe but it's true. The morning after Albee decided to leave Angus for good - before she even had the chance to leave, she is greeted by a sopping wet Angus O'Neil who struggles to explain the unexplainable. Albee's little sister, and her last remaining relative, is dead. Larissa drowned, caught in a rip while trying to save Quentin's life. The irony is that Larissa achieved her goal. Quentin will live to die another day. And that day will probably be sooner rather than later, as Quentin's body is riddled with cancer. Albee struggles to accept Larissa's death. Still in too much in shock to mourn, Albee drifts through her day aimlessly, seeing the world from an acute angle of grief. She will be bemused to discover that the funeral director, employed by Angus to deal with the arrangements, turns out to be none other than Evan Green. The same person who Larissa had encouraged Albee to flirt with. Albee will be bemused further still to discover that Larissa's ghost, or at the very least some weird apparition/alter ego of Albee's, will begin haunting her every move-commenting on Albee and her actions. The "ghost" of Larissa will, like the real Larissa, push Albee towards consummating her relationship with Evan. Is Albee going mad-or is this just a manifestation of her grief and guilt? Angus, meanwhile, will do everything he can to support Albee. His task is made harder by the fact that Albee refuses to open up to him. He's shut out of her life. Things are starting to go very pear-shaped indeed.
Episode 15
It is the day of Larissa's funeral - and Albee is not coping very well and has gone walk about. Albee needs someone to talk to who isn't connected to her life and finds herself drawn towards funeral director, Evan Green. There is a history of unresolved sexual tension between these two, but then there is also the fact that Evan is the only person to whom Albee's confession that she's seeing Larissa's ghost will feel normal. Angus is left feeling very much out on his own, not sure how much Albee's state of mind is grief and how much of it is their own mess and Klaus' decision to have the loudest band on the planet for Larissa's wake comes at a time when Angus dosen't really have the energy to resist. When the noise complaint comes, Angus will be too drunk and grief stricken to find a rational way of dealing with it. At the same time Albee will find herself face to face with a memory Larissa thinks she needs to deal with. It is a truth that will threaten to push Albee over the edge.
Episode 16
Albee plays a game of hangman with Larissa's ghost. It seems Larissa is using the word game to try and force Albee to do something she doesn't want to do. But Albee refuses to play. Instead she seeks refuge in Evan Green's proposal of a road trip down the coast. Meanwhile, Klaus's poker machine addiction is getting out of control. He tries banning himself from the rival pub where he lost all his money. But his self restraint is short lived. Disguising himself in a wig and sunglasses Klaus re-enters the prohibited pub to lose his future wages on the pokies. Frustrated in his inability to communicate with Albee or Klaus, Angus sets himself the mammoth task of appeasing Rachel Fox (Joanne Priest) and the residents she claims to represent. The two work together to try and sort out ways to alleviate the pub's noise problem. But things go awry, and Angus manages to alienate himself from Rachel as well. Paul catches Albee about to run away with Evan. Rather than talk her out of it, Paul gives Albee his tacit nod of approval. It's something he would do. Appalled by the thought that she and Paul share a similarity of character, Albee does what Larissa's ghost has been suggesting she do all along. She confronts Angus with the truth-that she put holes in some of their condoms-specifically the condom which Angus used with Juliette (Teresa Page). It seems Albee, not Angus got Juliette pregnant.
Episode 17
Angus knows Albee, in a drunken daze, put holes in the condoms. He knows, that by default, she is partially responsible for Juliette falling pregnant to him during a brief but high-impact dalliance. He knows and he wants someone to pay. Albee would be perfect except that she's not around - so Angus takes his grief to a local residents action group meeting about the pub instead. Albee, under the spirit-guidance of Larissa, is trying to stop Big Bear publishing Quentin's book-particularly the chapters about Albee and Angus and their infamous arrangement. Larissa is becoming more hardcore in her approach to the world, encouraging Albee to live life truthfully and bugger the consequences. When she meets Quentin to try and enlist his help to stop the book, Larissa will egg Albee on to entertain thoughts she never believed herself capable of. Albee becomes frightened of Larissa's influence, of her own grip on reality, but having pushed her near and dear away from her, she finds Larissa's comfort too hard to resist. She will allow herself to walk away from the pub, and from Angus, and his attempts to chase her will have life-threatening consequences.
Episode 18
Angus and Albee have split but until she can find somewhere else to live, Albee is staying in the storeroom downstairs. While enduring these living conditions, she's also dealing with Brent Duffy, sports legend and autobiographer, who has decided Albee is his mentor. Angus learns that Rachel Fox is going to sue him for running her over and breaking her legs. To make amends he takes her flowers, signs her cast and paints her toe nails. In return, Rachel has Angus arrested. Along the way, Bernie and Juliette try to spark their old flame with a day at the races, Paul and Angus go on a date with each other in their own pub and Albee sends the ghost of Larissa away to Spain.
Episode 19
Angus's life is not improving. He's just been arrested for running Rachel Fox over. Nobody believes that it was an accident certainly not Rachel, who's convinced Angus acted out of maliciousness. Making things harder for Angus is the fact that Albee still hasn't found a place to live or at least that's the excuse she gives Angus for not moving out of the pub. Angus's patience is beginning to wear thin. He finds it difficult having her around. He still wants them to get back together, but Albee's refusal on that front frustrates him. Albee meanwhile is struggling to remember why she broke up with Angus in the first place. It seems nothing would be easier than falling back into his arms. But the sobering reality of their situation-the whole messy business of Albee putting the holes in the condoms, something which ultimately contributed to Juliette's pregnancy, puts paid to any such thoughts. Juliette too has her problems. It seems she and Bernie are still stuck in some weird courting ritual, which is very strange given they're married. Bernie, it seems, is still not ready to have Juliette come home. As a distressed Juliette explains to Angus, Bernie has problems in the trousers department. A problem, apparently related to the fact that Juliette is carrying Angus's child. Angus is not sure what to say about that. Angus tries to straighten one aspect of his life out. He pays a visit to Rachel in hospital where his apologies fall on deaf ears. To make matters worse Angus accidentally causes Rachel's leg brace to slip. Security is called and Angus is frog marched out of the building.
Episode 20
Angus is surprised and concerned to find that his father has begun an affair with Albee's boss. As a circuit-breaker, Albee challenges Paul to visit Rachel Fox and seduce her, in order to take the heat out of her law suit against Angus. Angus takes up jogging and jogs around to Bernie's house to discuss the fact that he thinks Bernie should stop faffing about, and get back with Juliette. Angus is a little worried, having Juliette around the pub is sending him nuts - it's a difficult subject for Angus to broach - particularly given the fact that Juliette has already told Angus that Bernie is impotent. But that aside, Angus feels he must sort matters out - and he does - only he gets interrupted by Maya who pops out of Bernie's bedroom in a bathrobe. Juliette, unaware of Bernie's affair with Maya, drags Bernie to birth classes where Bernie loses his temper and admits to having sex with someone else. Albee is becoming increasingly annoyed with Quentin's online mega-status. This is not helped by Quentin's enthusiasm for Brent Duffy's looming point scoring record which threatens to overtake the entire nations' consciousness.
Episode 21
Albee's obsession with oval shapes deepens to the point where she gives her obsession a name - and she starts to wonder if she is on the brink of madness. At the height of her stress, Albee calls rugby league legend Brent Duffy a humble bumboy and a cog in the wheel of media empires and corporate sponsors, and this motivates him to defecate on the field at his moment of triumph. Bernie, continuing his affair with Maya, reveals to her that Angus is the father of Juliette's baby. Maya threatens to exploit this for publicity purposes for the Quentin novel and Albee freaks. Angus takes Juliette to birth classes and Paul tries to solve Angus's legal problems by having sex with Rachel Fox - and fails. Paul returns to the pub with an armload of face cream. It turns out that Rachel Fox is a pyramid seller of cosmetics.
Episode 22
Paul is at Galen Apartments, attempting to return Rachel Fox's pyramid products when he makes a surprising discovery. Eddie Bird is being dangled off the balcony of a vacant apartment-he's in serious strife. Concealing himself behind the kitchen wall, Paul witnesses Eddie being interrogated by his brother over his handling of his job as project manager of Galen. It seems Eddie has been so busy trying to impress the family with Italian appliances and track lighting that he's skimped on the big ticket items like structure and soundproofing. As a result, he can only get fifty percent occupancy. Eddie's solution is to buy Angus's pub and build a funnel across from the apartments to the pokies, restaurants etc - controlling his clientele like rats in a maze and making a fortune off of them. When Angus confronts Eddie, he denies it all, claiming the funnel concept was just a way of getting his family off his back. Angus is not convinced and is left feeling Eddie's uncle's legal advice is probably not to be trusted. He also decides he's going to plead not guilty in his court case against Rachel Fox which means risking going to jail. Meanwhile Albee has taken a new approach to overcome her "oval fear" - positivity. The question is whether she'll be able to maintain this in the face of Maya's ruthless marketing of Quentin's book, and Juliette's ever-expanding tummy.
Episode 23
Paul is on the conveyor belt to hell - or so he thinks. After all his attempts never to complete his uni degree, a mature age student does it for him. He becomes more convinced that he has been cursed by a spell to grow up, when a lawyer comes into the pub and offers him a job. The curse is a cancer, an evil virus that is spreading to his friends. Angus is even considering what Paul believes is the maddest decision of all: to father the baby himself. What Paul doesn't realise is that he is about to make the most grown up decision of his life-to sleep with someone he might actually be in love with. This person just happens to be his best friend's ex. Meanwhile Albee and Quentin have plans to sabotage Maya's book launch. But things don't go altogether as planned.
Episode 24
Albee's "Oval Yoval" fear, and the reappearance of Larissa's ghost sends her to a psychiatric consultation with Dr. Alex Conhopkins. Albee feels she is losing her mind. She cites the fact that she had sex with Paul Bannister as a reason enough to have herself commited. Conhopkins, however is not convinced of Albee's insanity and he sends her home. Things at home aren't much better; Paul is slinking around the pub dying of guilt, having slept with his best friend's girlfriend. The trouble for Paul is that he loves both Albee and Angus in equal parts. It's Angus's day in court and Paul is doing whatever he can tp provide moral support. While everybody is busy at court Juliette goes into labour. Klaus is the only person around to assist in the child's delivery. So there's nobody manning the bar when Christa Hughes arrives. Not put off Christa helps herself and the punters to a bottle of vodka while she belts out "Carrot Day". Angus loses in court and he receives a suspended sentence, thereby narrowly escaping a term in jail. But his criminal sentence will mean he will lose his pub license. A distraught Albee, albeit in the form of Larissa-attacks Rachel Fox with a pair of nail scissors. This action is enough to have Albee finally commited.
Episode 25
It's the morning after Angus's court case; the morning after Albee attacked the pub's chief noise complainer with a pair of scissors; the morning after her most unexpected encounter with Paul - and Albee wakes up in a psych ward with a hangover the size of Paraguay. Paul finds the guilt of his dalliance with Albee too much to stand and comes clean to Angus. The question of his motivation is revealed to be anything but squeaky clean. Albee is struggling to find a way through the mess that is her life when Angus's long awaited child is born - and it's enough to push her over the edge. She runs away from hospital and finds herself at the airport, tickets to Cuba in hand.
Episode 26
Paul arrives at the airport to discover Albee waiting for him, her bags packed. Is Paul ready to run away with her to Cuba? Paul would like nothing more than to do just that but he can see that Albee isn't in a healthy mental state. He puts the kybosh on the whole thing and suggests she go back to the hospital. Albee not impressed, runs away. Meanwhile, back at the pub, Angus has just been served a notice of closure from the Liquor Licensing Board. The boards' representative, Mr. Hector Phillips, has informed Angus that he must cease trading forthwith. Will the tired and emotionally-drained Angus accept the proclamation? Will the pub be finally taken over by Eddie Bird and the plans for his economic funnel? Will live music ever be heard belting out of the pub doors again, or will poker machines rule? Will Albee and Angus ever get back together? Will Paul and Angus ever be able to mend their friendship? Will Quentin shake off the cancer that is choking his youthful body. Will Machine Gun Fellatio get to play their gig? Find out in the final episode of love is.