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Grange Hill Season 23 Episodes
Season 23 Episode Guide
20 Episodes 2000 - 2000
Episode 1
Episode #23.1
Mr. Robson has a nightmare - the inspectors, all dressed in black, approach his desk. "Grange Hill is finished", they say... then he wakes up. The OFSTED inspection is at the root of his dream. Colin walks to school with Nathan, depressed because Becky's moved North with her mum. Ever the eye for a pretty lady, Nathan espies a new Austalian girl, Emily Fraser, assuming that's she's a Sixth Former, and introduces himself. Arnie's been promised money to buy a car by his father - provided he passes his 'A' Levels, though! In Food Technology, it seems that Spencer's tastes only include good old English food, like Beef and Chips. Sarah-Jane is having meditation and counselling sessions to get over her anti-depressant addiction. Afterwards, she meets up with Wayne and they go to the café. On the way, Wayne gives money to a Big Issue seller, thinking momentarily of how Alec became homeless. Dill has difficulty telling Arnie her big news because he's so wrapped up in thoughts of the car he's been promised. Nathan gets a shock when the pretty new Australian turns out to be their Maths teacher and form tutor. As the registration takes place, Arnie is slow to answer his name - is he dazzled by Miss Fraser, or is there something else the matter with him? Spencer's arrogant racism is evident when Mrs. Holmes teaches about the British Empire, but she cuts him to size and gets him to read, which he does stumblingly. Tom, Lisa, Cracker and Tracy are trying to tell Matt something important, but don't have the courage to do so. When Spencer arrives home, it becomes obvious where he gets his racist views from - his father. Dill explains the opportunity that has come her way to Arnie. She has been offered the chance to work with a designer in New York. Spencer's father goes to the pub, and as his dinner is being consigned to the bin, his wife hears him singing drunkenly outside, as he returns home. He crosses paths with a black man, who joins in his refrain. Mr. Hargreaves takes offence to this, and after exchanging words, thumps the other man, who strikes his head against the lamppost and falls to the ground. From his bedroom window, Spencer looks on in horror.
Episode 2
Episode #23.2
The police call at the Spencer house, asking about the assault. Spencer's father claims no knowledge of the incident. Dill's waiting for Mr. Robson, but there another visitor waiting already. Not realizing he's an OFSTED inspector, she gabbles on about how Mr.Robson is like a swan - graceful on the surface, but scrabbling around like mad underneath. Year 9 seem to be enthusiastic with their maths all of a sudden, ever since getting the attractive female teacher - Mrs. Holmes tartly observes that perhaps it's curves rather than angles that interest them. Colin finds that somehow he's agreed to take Kelly and Evelyn to Nathan's gig. When Arnie and Colin go to speak to Nathan they find him angry. Nearby Spencer listens as Nathan talks bitterly about the man in his 50's who was beaten up, not for his wallet, but simply because he was black. Nathan decides that the profits from his gig will go to the victim's family. Colin puts the thought in Arnie's mind that the reason Dill shows reluctance to go to New York is because she fancies Arnie. Dill asks Mr. Robson's advice - he suggests she goes to the States. On her way out she passes the OFSTED inspector again - "Mr. Robson suggested I forget my 'A' levels and jump on the next plane to New York," she says tactlessly. Tom, Cracker, Lisa and Tracy pick straws to break the news to Matt - finally Cracker does his duty, telling Matt that their days of being a gang are over: Cracker and Lisa are a couple, also Tom and Tracy. Matt tells them that he's had a "Dear John" letter from Gemma. "Who's this John bloke?" asks Cracker naively. Spencer gets a detention, a usual state of affairs for him. As he's alone, Miss Carver asks him why he's always having a go at Anika and Amy. He spouts the usual racial rhetoric, countered by Miss Carver's point that Anika was born in Britain. She brings up the story about the assault on the black man, but this is not something Spencer wants to think about, and he asks to go. Nathan's do gets underway. Evelyn gets chatting to an older guy at the bar: he assumes she's at college, and she doesn't disabuse him of that idea. She gets his phone number before Kelly pulls her away, but then she turns around, goes back and kisses him.
Episode 3
Episode #23.3
Mr. Robson continues to have James Bond style nightmares about the OFSTED inspection. Just who is the man in the suit taking photos of people entering the school? Arnie's leaving it a bit late if he's to tell Dill how he really feels about her, before she shoots off to New York. Matt's feeling a bit sorry for himself now the other four are operating as couples. Cracker and Tom are trying out after shave, but they may have over done it a bit. Kelly is a little slow to realize that Colin is making a play for her. In the playground, Spencer becomes annoyed at Anika for being a swot, and pushes her. She hits her head against the railings, and her forehead bleeds. Adam, Ian and the other Year 9's step in to tell Spencer he must never do that again or face the consequences. Darren and Calvin take Anika to the school secretary, while Amy tells Spencer that he had better not have hurt her friend. In the Staff Room, Mr. Hankin seems to be practising for a new career - as a stand-up comedian, but unfortunately his jokes, such as they are, are not appreciated by the other teachers. Anika returns to class, and makes an excuse about running and falling. Her friends look daggers at Spencer. The school day comes to an end. Ian is determined that he and his friends look out for Max, with that racially motivated attacker still on the loose. As they leave, the photographer is back, snapping at groups of kids as they leave. When Spencer approaches, another man pulls out his identity - he's from CID, looking into suspicious gangs of youths. Spencer happily confirms that Ian's group are bullies that have been picking on him. Mr. Robson insists on the other staff members joining him at the "Brown Boar" to discuss tactics with the impending OFSTED inspections. He's not alone in that intention though - Evelyn has planned to meet her older boyfriend there too. At the canal bank, Tom and Cracker come across Matt, determined to solve the problem of his isolation - they plan to find him a girlfriend. Unfortunately the perfect girl he describes seems to be Gemma. In the pub, Evelyn notices Mr. Robson enter, and suggests that she and Simon head off to eat. She isn't spotted, but there's a nasty moment when Miss Carver is parking her car, and wants Simon's space, but the teacher doesn't notice Evelyn. At the canal, Dill meets with Arnie, and she tells him that she regrets what happened in the past with Chris. It really does seem that there is nothing holding her to stay in the UK: she doesn't say what he wants to hear. Inside the pub, Mr. Robson's pep talks is considered to be insulting - his staff already consider they are giving 100%. Evelyn's date is going well, although she's heaping untruth upon untruth. Miss Fraser has some bad news in the pub - her father's house is flooded, and her little sister is coming to stay. Mr. Robson's unsympathetic response makes the Miss Carver leave in disgust, and Mr. Hankin is more interested in the karaoke than the prospects of an OFSTED inspection. After their meal and cinema date, Simon is reluctant to let Evelyn leave. In the pub, Mr. Robson orders another drink. To his side, there's the man who was taking photographs. He pulls out one of the photos that shows Adam in the middle of the group. He compares the image of Adam with the picture of a young boy...
Episode 4
Episode #23.4
It's 5.00 am, the sun comes up, and Dill gets out of bed. At his computer, Arnie tries to write a note to Dill about how she hurt him when he started seeing Chris, but he can't get the words right. Spencer's mother is going away to take some things to his father - Spencer will be on his own for a couple of days, but there are meals that can be heated in the microwave, and some emergency money left just in case. After his mother has left, Spencer shouts "Excellent!" and immediately grabs the cash, eager to spend it. At school Spencer boasts about how much pocket money he gets, waving the emergency cash around. Kelly scares Evelyn by telling her that Simon will expect sex after he cooks a meal for her. Colin asks Kelly out: he wonders if she is interested in Fellini - she asks if it is a type of cheese. Lisa has arranged for her cousin Katrina to meet up with Matt for a blind date. Spencer is determined to win back friends - he buys Calvin and Darren snacks, and tells them they can come round to watch videos. Arnie seems in a world of his own again in the English class - Miss Carver gets angry with him. Later, he is outside and is disoriented once again, then realizes Dill is with him: they kiss, but Dill leaves. Later, she meets up with Arnie and the other Sixth Formers, and some of the staff, at a pub to wish her the best for her trip to the States. Cracker and Tom build up Matt's picture of Lisa's cousin for his blind date - they describe her as like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and sell him some after-shave. When he arrives at the Arches, the aftershave has given him a rash. Then Katrina arrives - a girl in black with heavy goth makeup. "I asked for Buffy, and you got me the vampire," he says without enthusiasm. At Spencer's house, Darren, Calvin, are with him, and having just watched a Bruce Lee video, Spencer practises kung-fu on the ironing board. The place is already a tip after one day of his mother's absence. Spencer wants to try some moves on Calvin - "black versus white," he says, to Darren's horror. Calvin doesn't want to fight, but when Spencer pushes him, he pushes back, and Spencer falls against the TV knocking it over. The free-for-all fight ends when the phone starts ringing. Arnie and Dill arrive at the airport and Arnie hands over the letter for her, insisting she only reads it on the plane. He can't find any words when she kisses him goodbye at the car park, Arnie not wanting to prolong the agony any further. Evelyn is round at her old boyfriend's house: they finish their meal and then sit down on the sofa. Simon tells Evelyn that he wants their relationship to grow before they do anything hasty. At the airport, Dill reads Arnie's letter - in it, he tells her that he'll wait for her return. Outside, by the car, Arnie's father offers his son the chance to drive home, but Arnie is once again in his dazed state. To Mr. Arnold's horror, Arnie slips to the floor unconscious....
Episode 5
Episode #23.5
Spencer's house is a tip since he was left on his own there, and he tries to persuade the others to help tidy it. He coerces Anika to lend her homework, by threatening Amy. Colin and Nathan goes for an audition for a job in television presenting. Nathan wears his electric blue suit, and is intent on chatting up the receptionist while Colin has the first interview. Nathan's dynamic performance in front of the camera is in stark contrast to Colin's straightforward, slightly nervous act. Neither of them think that they've done very well in the audition. Spencer gets a phone call from his mum telling him she will be another day yet. Miss Fraser's father and little sister arrive from Australia. In the playground, the mystery photographer is spotted by a workman, who calls the police, suspicious of his behaviour. As he's dragged out of his car, he points to Adam, and starts to protest "he's my...." before he's bundled away. At Spencer's house, Darren and Calvin help "tidy" up the house (with trash put in the sideboard, and jigsaw pieces hoovered up). Mr. Robson, who seems to be hitting the bottle under the pressure from the OFSTED visit, gets a call from the police, telling him that the photographer's story checked out. Colin starts his date with Kelly. They are watching amateur stand-up comedy performers. With no sign of Spencer's mother, and Spencer fast asleep in front of EastEnders, Calvin, and Darren make good their escape. The stand-up comedy date seems to be going well when to Kelly and Colin's astonishment, Mr. Hankin steps up onto the stage and starts his awful jokes. At home, Adam is working on the family tree project. For him this means the history of his foster family. Mr. Hankin finishes off his act, and after a doubtful start it seems to have gone quite well. A police car blazes past Spencer's house. He awakes with a start, finding the place dark and himself still alone. "Mum?" he calls out...
Episode 6
Episode #23.6
Mr. Robson twitches in his sleep as he dreams of the men in black - the OFSTED inspectors. He runs up and down the corridor in his pyjamas, but there is no escape. He awakes, and reaches for the bottle by his bedside. Spencer, still alone and now broke, searches the sofa and collects a few coins from under the cushions. He goes to the local shops, but there's barely enough cash to buy a few tins of food, so he steals a bottle of ketchup, and a bag of shopping from another customer in the car park. Adam's foster parents break the news that Adam's father is looking for him, having served his time and left jail. Adam is worried that he'll be made to go back to his dad. On their way to school, Colin is with Kelly when he sees Evelyn and Simon - to the girls' horror it seems that he is going to give the game away about Evelyn's true age. Colin excitedly tells Evelyn that they saw Mr. Hankin at the Comedy Club - she replies blankly, "who?" Spencer arrives home. In his haste, his pocketed tomato sauce bottle has squeezed out into his jacket, and the shopping bags turn out just to contain cans and paper for recycling. It's a smelly, and disconsolate Spencer who arrives at school - a copious amount of aftershave can't disguise his unwashed clothes. Arnie's back, but he still seems to be in a muddled mental condition. Miss Fraser brings little sister in to start amongst the other Year 9's: Katy tells about her older sister, her dangerous sports and lack of a boyfriend. The Year 9 boys relate the story of Adam, and how, as a boy, he saw his own mother killed by his father. Sarah-Jane talks to Wayne about her counselling - but it seems that she's been talking about Wayne's own problems of getting over Judi's death. He explains that what he's regretting is his behaviour towards Alec after the accident. Wayne decides he'll try to find Alec, putting his picture in public places. Adam's father comes to school, and speaks to Mr. Robson about wanting to see his son. He explains it was drink that made him violent, all those years ago. The mention of drink hits a bit of a nerve with the Head. As he's departing, Adam's father encounters Adam leaving the toilets - Adam shakes his head, and runs away. Mr. Robson overhears Kelly and Evelyn, and learns about Mr. Hankin's stand-up performance. He doesn't waste any time in berating the science teacher's moonlighting. The Miss Fraser fan club (the Year Nine boys) make bets as to who will be the first inside her house. Suzie arrives at the café, and within minutes, Matt has collided heads with her to retrieve a dropped earring. He is very shy in her presence, but the others encourage him to talk. When the drinks arrive the inevitable happens - he drops the drink in her lap - she storms off, assuming that the meeting with Matt was some kind of joke at her expense. "Never mind Matty," says Cracker. "You've still got us!"
Episode 7
Episode #23.7
Spencer's in the café, drinking a coffee, the only thing he can afford. When Ray's back is turned he grabs some leftovers from a deserted table. At school, he looks longingly at all the food being created in the cookery lesson - he grabs an unattended garlic bread loaf. The Double Dare boys tell Matthew that there are times when they wish they weren't dating the girls. They overhear Mr. Jones suggest that Mr. Robson is on the point of cracking up over the Ofsted visit, and decide to make things go wrong when the inspectors arrive, so he gets a telling-off from them. Later, to the lads' astonishment, Lisa unveils the solution to the problem of Matt's lack of a girlfriend. She shows them a coloured chart which details the hyper complex schedule of dating between herself and Tracy, and Tom, Cracker and Matt. In the evening, Kelly and Colin are together again, and Simon and Evelyn are once again at Simon's place. While Simon and Evelyn are getting ever closer, Kelly seems to be shying away from Colin, and he merely gets a chaste kiss on the cheek at the end of their date. Ben and Franco have both failed in getting near to their idol, Miss Fraser, with their various gambits with her sister, Max misses an opportunity because he's thinking about the tuba, but Katy asks Adam round offering him sympathy for what happened with his mother. Katy also lost her mother early in life, so they have a common talking point. Arnie's dad gives his son a pep talk to try to get him out of his rut - it works, and Arnie heads off for a night out. He meets up with Nathan and Colin, and his gambit of pretending to be a fighter pilot seems successful. Arnie downs his pint, and his over-confident, aggressive manner seems unlike the person they know, they look at each other in bewilderment. Evelyn is at Simon's place again, eating a Chinese takeaway. Afterwards they are in each others arms - "should we stop?" asks Simon, and Evelyn replies "no." At the club, it is with some trepidation that Colin and Nathan prepare to leave Arnie, who seems worse the wear for drinking. After they've gone, he encounters Miss Fraser, who is alarmed at his state. He moves amongst the dancers, spinning his spiel about going to war, then under the flashing coloured lights and the loud music, he abruptly collapses to the floor, shaking violently...
Episode 8
Episode #23.8
"UFO's over Essex", reads the newspaper headline - giving Cracker an idea on how to wind up Mr. Robson, who has become ever more grumpy about the impending doom of the Ofsted visits. Nathan and Colin simultaneously open their envelopes with the results of their TV audition - Nathan is astonished to find Colin got the job. Kelly is shocked to find Evelyn's slept with Simon. Colin and Nathan learn from the Head that Arnie's in hospital after his seizure at the night club. Both Mr. Robson and Arnie's father have one key question - were there drugs involved? The doctor says the drugs screening was clear. At school, Miss Fraser does herself no favours by letting it be known that she was also at the club. Spencer is in everyone's bad books because he still hasn't repaid his debts. Anika's had enough of him, and pushes him to the ground pummeling him. Her attack comes to an end when Calvin has an asthma attack, and Miss Carver intervenes. Arnie gets back home, and his father doesn't believe his story about only having two pints. In the pigs sty that is Spencer's home, he gets a phone call from his mum to say she'll send money, but can't yet come home. Miss Carver and Mr. Hankin wonder at Mrs. Holmes's calm - her secret is revealed - karate practice! Spencer's money does come the next day, but he's out of clothes - just what is he wearing under the tightly wrapped coat? In the Arches, Wayne learns from a homeless guy that Alec has been seen at the viaduct. In P.E, Spencer has to shamefully reveal his mum's blouse that he's wearing, the only item that he could wear that was still tolerably clean. Wayne makes an arrangement with Sarah-Jane to meet up at the weekend to search for Alec. Miss Carver learns from Adam that he's been thinking about his father. He's shocked when he goes to see her and finds his father there. Adam's father explains that it was the drink that had changed him, and that he's a different person now. His father wants to meet up with Adam for a while at the weekend - Adam asks Miss Carver to come too. In the Arches, Spencer treats the others, but the fiver he was sent is a little short. In his office, Mr. Robson has downed some whiskey, and snores away, his head on his desk. Spencer tries the phone number his mother has left, but the phone doesn't seem to work - and he notices the final demand envelope from British Telecom in the pile of mail. Mr. Robson awakes with a start, and realizes it is late. He leaves, walking in a daze, and outside the Double Dare gang get ready for action. The Head hears a noise around the side of the building, and investigates the pig-like grunting noises ahead. In the semi-darkness there's a teetering scary creature with tentacles and bat-like wings. "Robsonnnn," says the echoey mysterious voice slowly. "Ofstedddd...". The Head turns and flees in horror, trailing his papers as he runs. Behind him, Cracker, Tom and Matt laugh delightedly...
Episode 9
Episode #23.9
It's Saturday and Sarah-Jane meets up with Wayne, but her hopes of having some fun are dashed when he explains they are going to be handing out leaflets to the homeless, in order to find Alec. Kelly and Evelyn are out shopping, but Evelyn has brought boyfriend Simon along. Kelly realises that Evelyn just wants her there as an excuse to her mother as to who she is with. The Double Dare Gang are pleased to find their alleyway alien has had some newspaper coverage - but they are confused by a report about a local thinking it was the return of "Spring Heeled Jack." They investigate and find that this is a legendary character who visits the Earth every 100 years. They decide that they will create Spring Heeled Jack themselves as another surprise for Mr. Robson. Sarah-Jane's day is turning out to be no fun at all, insulted by the homeless, and Wayne even asks her for cash to buy some information from a guy in an underpass. She walks off in a huff, but moments later, the tunnels become terrifying, as a figure rises and lurches drunkenly towards her. She runs into another man, screaming, and talks incoherently, thinking he's attacking her, but he assumes she's a runaway, and tries to calm her. Ben's round at Katy's house - his disappointment at finding Miss Fraser absent is too obvious, but Katy doesn't seem to mind, and shows him some violent Australian Football videos. When Miss Fraser returns, Ben gets flustered, bumps into a rack of drying clothes, finds he's got one of Miss Fraser's bras in his hand, and making a quick apology thrusts the undergarment back at her, and leaves. In the evening, Kelly goes to Sarah-Jane's house. It's Sunday morning. Spencer finds an envelope with £20 from his absentee mother and then there's a banging at the door. It's only Darren and Calvin, who immediately suspect that he's been burgled. They realise his plight, and they use the bath to clean his clothes (and him!) At Simon's flat, Evelyn has breakfast with her boyfriend, and he makes a suggestion - why doesn't she move in with him? Adam begins a difficult meeting out in the park, with his father and Miss Carver. At first it goes well, but when Adam's father produces a bottle, intended for Miss Carver as a thank-you, Adam misinterprets the gesture, flares up and runs off. Ray is out with Wayne, and a bag of leftover sandwiches. They question the homeless people they find, offering them food. Colin Brown makes his TV debut, and not only is he watching with Arnie and Nathan, but Anika and Amy tune in, recognizing him as someone in the 6th Form. Adam is round at Katy's, telling of the disastrous meeting with his father, when Katy's big sister returns. Miss Fraser is initially angry that Katy's brought yet another bloke home, but then Adam starts crying and she comforts him. Lisa has the scheduled date with Matt, but she confesses what she'd really like to do is help the others with the Spring Heeled Jack joke. Meanwhile, Cracker is with the others, armed with fluorescent green paint which he applies to the alien-shaped sponge tied to a stick. He carefully creates footsteps up the side of the school. Inside, Miss Carver works hard to bring some order to her classroom in preparation for the arrival of Ofsted. Night has fallen and suddenly Wayne and Ray get the lead they were hoping for - the name of a hostel where Alec has been recently seen. Ray insists that it is too late for them to pursue it. When Alec returns to his hostel, he makes it absolutely clear to another resident there - he does not want to be found...
Episode 10
Episode #23.10
It's still early, and an Ofsted man is outside school - he has the necessary electronic key, and enters. As Mr. Robson struggles to persuade his car to work, Miss Carver awakes from inside school, and hurriedly removes evidence of her last minute struggle to make Amy's work look good, and the classroom tidy. The Double Dare Gang arrive and admire their handiwork - a trail of footsteps leads up the outside of the building. When Ofsted arrive, Mrs. Holmes hurriedly explains the aberrant art as a Year 11 design project. Spencer's uniform is now a total disaster - he looks like a tramp, and his tie is unwearable - Darren and Calvin do a clothing share-out so each of them have a single item missing. After his TV appearance, Colin has a fan following and signs autographs. Amy and Anika watch the Year 7's, wondering if he'll reply to the letter they sent him. As they enter the English class, the Year 8's notice Miss Carver's slipshod appearance. An inspector comes in and watches the proceedings. Miss Carver gives out the wrong coursework - "mea culpa," she says, making her class think she's completely lost the plot, talking gibberish. The Double Dare Gang are determined to haunt the school's computer system, and pick Mr. Hankin's brains on how to set a system-wide screen saver. Lisa cheekily suggests the Ofsted man be the guinea pig in the electrostatic test with the Van Der Graf generator. What follows is a moment that harks back to the days of Mr. Bronson - the Ofsted inspector's wig bravely holds on for a few moments, then flies off and lands on the silver globe of the test equipment. Miss Carver unwisely starts to make comments about "Dracula" as she enters the Staff Room - the Ofsted inspector she means is sitting behind the door. After checking her diary, Evelyn becomes worried that she might be pregnant - she photocopies a book entitled "Unplanned pregnancy", but is interrupted by Arnie and makes an excuse and leaves. Arnie for his part is photocopying a book on epilepsy. Mr. Robson is talking to an Ofsted inspector who is concerned about Miss Carver's sloppy appearance when suddenly the computer screen's screen-saver becomes one of a green alien's face. In the Computer Room, The Double Dare Gang step back to admire their handiwork - all the screens are now displaying alien faces. Ian is round the Fraser household, where Katy is demonstrating the punch-ball in her bedroom. Katy kicks out to demonstrate, and strikes Ian by accident. He goes down, but then to his delight finds he's in the arms of his idol, Miss Emily Fraser. Things are now desperate for Spencer, Calvin, and Darren after a disastrous experiment with bleach to try to clean up Spencer's clothes. They realize their only hope is with the girls. Evelyn keeps trying to talk to Kelly about her problem. Anika is talked around into helping Spencer when she learns that his mother has gone - but she can't resist a few more digs at his expense, saying that it's like with animals where the mother rejects the runt of the litter. Her jibes about no foster home ever wanting him finally go too far, and he has tears in his eyes when he runs out of the classroom. Amy tells Anika that she doesn't want to be friends with her, if she is going to be a bully - Anika agrees to go and help Spencer clear up. Wayne continues his search for Alec, but when he goes to the right hostel, he is misdirected to another place. Mr. Robson pops into the pub for a fresh bottle of Whiskey - he overhears the Ofsted people talk about the "man in charge being an idiot", and assumes they are referring to himself - they are talking about the pub. In his bedroom, Arnie searches the Internet for information on Epilepsy - he realizes the symptoms match correctly. He studies a series of flashing images, and lies down to rest. A little while later, his body twitches as Arnie suffers another seizure...
Episode 11
Episode #23.11
On the way to school, voices thunder in Mr. Robson's head, real and imaginary criticisms from the Ofsted inspectors. He encounters Mr. Jones, who confirms he's finished his Ofsted report. As the games master ties his laces, a dog grabs his report and won't let go without a struggle. When he hands it in, his "a dog ate my work" excuse doesn't go down too well. Colin meets some not-quite-so-adoring fans on his way in, "He looks better on the telly," says one. To Nathan's astonishment, Colin actually doesn't like the fan mail he's been receiving. Nathan strikes a deal to "manage" Colin, and deal with the letters, in return for letting him into the studios. The Ofsted inspectors talk to some of the students. Tom and Cracker have a bizarre conversation about Mr. Hankin's science class, where they talk about aliens - Mr. Robson overhears, and tells the science teacher to stop teaching weird science. Sarah-Jane asks Mr. Robson if she can add another 'A' level course. He says no, and she replies it's not fair because she was "off her face on drugs" - just as one of the Inspectors walks up to him. The big clear-up begins in the Spencer Household, with Amy and Anika taking charge. The Double Dare Gang work on their next Alien wind-up - Cracker and Tracy moan because they are next scheduled for a date together. Franco is round at Katy's, driven mad by the sound of Katy's older sister, Miss Emily Fraser out of sight around the house. Hearing that Emily has just taken a bath, Franco excuses himself to go to the toilet, and up there pokes around in the bathroom cabinet. He takes hold of a bottle of talc, and suddenly Miss Fraser comes in - the talc goes all over poor Franco. Round at the studios, Nathan is doing quite well with Briony, reminiscing about an old show that she starred in, until he puts his foot in it by talking about the goony girl with the stupid laugh - it was Briony of course, as a ten your old. Before heading off for school, Spencer surveys his clean, but still empty, house. Amy tells the others, including Spencer, that her mum wants them all to go for tea. Mr. Robson listens in to Ian and Franco talking to the Ofsted inspector about their favourite teacher Miss Fraser - horrified to hear they've been round her house, and so interrupts proceedings. Miss Carver starts auditioning for Romeo and Juliet. The English teacher explains they will do it like the Elizabethans with the boys taking the female parts, but this soon leads to a fight between Adam and Franco. Once Miss Carver separates them, Adam gives an outburst about Miss Carver's previous action in trying to reconcile his father with him - it comes at the worst possible time, as Mr. Robson stands in the entrance with the Ofsted inspector. "I hate you!" yells Adam. Spencer's late for tea at Amy's flat - he arrives carrying a large box - it contains a present for her - an aquarium. Alec realizes that Wayne doesn't want to speak to him for any aggressive reason, and gets his mate to tell Wayne where he is. The Double Dare Gang get ready outside - they have a video camera, some dry ice and a model flying saucer (well, a hub cap really!) suspended from fishing wire. They are so engrossed, that they don't notice the Ofsted inspector who has crept up behind. Evelyn is trying to tell Simon about her pregnancy worries, but nearby there is a commotion - someone is hammering on the café door. Ray opens the doors - it is Mr. Robson, drunk, and rambling incoherently about the inspectors being in his head. After his little speech, Mr. Robson slumps forward...
Episode 12
Episode #23.12
Ray wakes up Mr. Robson who's sleeping in the back of his café. In his hungover state, he tells Ray he realises he's been pushing everyone too hard for the inspections. Ray gives his former teacher a pep talk, praising Grange Hill for giving him the ability to stand on his own two feet and be where he is today, owning the "Arches". Evelyn has a different kind of sickness - the morning variety. She tries to find the right words in a letter to Simon, coming clean about her true age. As the school day starts, their Headmaster seems to have a new spring in his step, an air of optimism. The Double Dare Gang, though, know it's only a matter of time before the Ofsted inspector tells on their Alien stunt. Evelyn is about to share her secret with Arnie, but he suddenly leaves the room. He speeds off to the toilet, knowing that another seizure is imminent. He lies down in a cubicle to avoid harming himself as the convulsions start. The Year 9's have prepared boomerangs for the science class, but they know Australian Katy will do better. "She's a prodigy," says Ian. "What's her religion got to do with it?" asks Ben. In the Staff Room, the teachers put in some cash for an end of Inspection party - Mr. Robson puts in a few notes, and says it is a thank you for their hard work. Miss Carver puts her foot in it once again by jokingly asking her class to check under the desks for Inspectors - unfortunately, there is one who was out of sight when she entered. Mr. Dai Hard Jones has a special games lesson - an assault course, with tennis-ball-armed defenders, and people to rescue at the end of the course. Nearby, Mr. Robson is alarmed to hear a gunshot - Mr. Jones starting the manouvres. Miss Carver ends her lesson, and the inspector helps her put the books away. Then to her horror he heads for an overfilled cupboard from which books burst out when he opens the door. As the games lesson comes to an end, Year 9 limp off like wounded soldiers - "It's really good for them," says Mr. Jones, but the inspector doesn't look convinced. Colin and Nathan discover Arnie asleep in the toilet cubicle - they laugh about it, not realising his true condition. Year 9's boomerangs are put to the test. Max takes the first throw - his boomerang doesn't come back, or at least not immediately... The lads know that they don't stand a chance against Katy's natural Australian ability - but when it comes to her turn, she trips up. Lisa, Tom and Matt are called to the Head's office. At first it's what they expected, an earful about being on school premises. Then his tone changes, and he tells them the inspector was impressed by their special effects, and that they should think about taking it up as a career - while they are doing a week's detention! The chief Ofsted inspector gives his verdict on the school - overall, there is no problem, except with English and P.E. Mr. Robson defends his staff, saying that the teaching is more than just ticking boxes. Wayne is told where Alec will be - at first he doesn't believe Alec's friend, but he's convinced by a reminder about how Judi died. The Ofsted Inspector opens the boot of his car, in preparation for leaving. There's a strange sound from above, and Max's boomerang falls neatly in the inspectors boot. Spencer's mother returns - she notes the place is nice and tidy - she tells him that she's back for good. Wayne follows the lead and finds Alec loading stuff into a van. Alec explains it's food past its sell-by that's given to the homeless. Alec tells Wayne that he's doing okay, and that he's doing a vocational course in social work - there is peace between them at last. Briony is sitting in the café with Colin - Kelly looks in the window with Sarah-Jane, disappointed to see Colin seems to be very chummy with Briony. Inside, Briony explains that she quite likes Nathan, if only he would stop being such a poser. Then, her opinion of Nathan is confirmed when he comes in, mobile phone in hand and acting very much like the protective manager. Mr. Robson sits in his office, the praise from his teaching staff still in his ears - a bottle of booze on his desk. He takes the whiskey and locks it securely in the drawer...
Episode 13
Episode #23.13
Evelyn looks at the result of the home-pregnancy test - it confirms her fears. She manages to finish the letter to Simon asking if he will support her. Year 9 are out playing football. Adam's father watches from a distance, and notes Ian pushing Adam to the ground after a bad tackle. Mrs. Hargreaves is enjoying a relaxing bath - she is quite something to behold with a white face pack and cucumber on her eyes. Calvin and Darren decide to surprise Spencer, unaware that his mother is back - they burst into the bathroom, and both they and Spencer's mum scream in terror at the encounter. On the football pitch, Adam once again tries a tackle that's badly timed, and Franco falls over in agony. It looks like his leg is broken and Ian angrily sets himself on Adam - but then Mr. Hawkins appears like out of nowhere, and breaks up the fight. After the ambulance has taken Franco, Adam tells his father that he wants him to stay out of his business - to him, he doesn't exist. Nathan borrows Jude the Obscure from Arnie to impress Briony with his deep knowledge of literature. He blows his chances though by talking about how he really knows where "she" is coming from! Amy and Anika watch Colin's show again, and write another letter asking to see the show being made. They sign it Nadia and Evanna. Spencer tells his friends that he's having a party at his place as a reward for them helping him out. Evelyn's boyfriend Simon is on his way out as she calls, and he also disregards the letter that's arrived from her - he arrives at Grange Hill and asks to speak to Mr. Robson. Kelly spots him en-route and immediately goes off to find Evelyn, but to no avail. Evelyn starts her lesson - Miss Carver introduces Simon who's come as part of his teaching practice. They see each other, and the pretence is over: he asks the class about Tess of the D'Urbavilles: Sarah-Jane and Wayne each give an ironic summary - the book is about a doomed love affair. In the canteen queue with their self-service trays, Mr. Jones tries afresh to chat up Miss Carver - "why don't you let me buy you dinner," he says - she agrees - and tells the cashier that he's paying before he can say anything more. Kelly passes an envelope from Evelyn onto Simon when he's in the Staff Room. The letter inside insists that he must meet her - but Mr. Robson has a more pressing need - for someone to supervise detention. Lisa and Tracy overhear - it gives Lisa an idea. As Simon won't know who is who, Tracy can go on her date with Matt (as per the complex dating timetable), and Tom and Lisa can go in her and Matt's place. Cracker, a little confused, asks who he is... The detention gets under way, but outside Tracy seems to have been stood up by Matt. She goes along to the detention class, and ruins things by asking to talk to Lisa, blowing their little scheme and earning further detention for Tracy and Matt. After the detention, Evelyn watches Simon return to his car, but Miss Fraser is in the way and once again she can't speak to him...
Episode 14
Episode #23.14
Spencer's mother has invited his friends around for tea. Calvin drops the cakes he's brought before they leave school - they hope Mrs. Hargreaves won't notice. Mrs. Hargreaves seems to have a little surface racism in the things she says to Anika and Calvin. As they leave, Anika's strict mother is out in the car looking for her daughter - Anika's friends are almost run over by her car as she angrily stops to find out why Anika isn't doing her homework. Alone, Spencer asks his mother why his father hasn't returned, but she seems evasive. On the way in, Evelyn manages to speak to Simon - he tells her it would be inappropriate to see her again, outside of school. It seems to be a morning of ignoring people - Mr. Robson seems to ignore Anika's mother, while Matt brushes past Tracy and Lisa without a word. Mrs. Modi wants Mr. Robson to enforce discipline to stop rowdy behaviour - but there's a home truth she has to be told about Anika's earlier fight with Spencer. In P.E. Lisa and Tracy corner Matt to find out why he's reneged on the dating arrangements, but he maintains his silence. In Sixth Form English, Simon finds the talk about "Tess" striking a chord with his situation with Eveylyn. Colin and Nathan get Anika and Amy's fan letter, under their glamorous nom-de-plumes, and are intrigued to meet these "supermodels". Katy and the Year 9 boys are going away for a trek in the countryside - the boys don't realise that Katy has also invited pariah, Adam - still on their bad books for hurting Franco in the football. They overhear Miss Fraser talking to Mr. Hankin about going away - and assume that Katy's invited her older sister, but their hopes are dashed when it comes to the day. "Nadia" and "Evanna" get dressed up and go to meet Colin and Nathan - who of course are expecting supermodels, as per the fan letter. It's not long before Colin works out that Amy and Anika are behind the letter. Nathan and Colin show them round the studio - for once though, Nathan has done the right thing in the eyes of Briony. Katy builds quite an impressive tent out of branches, but Adam is a bit of an outsider, unwanted by Ian, Ben and Max. They set him up a collapsing tent out of branches which fall on him - then they make a chilling discovery in the ground - bones, which appear to be human. They decide some of them need to report the find: Adam stays behind, and Ian decides to stay with him. Out in the park, Lisa and Tracy finally cave in - they agree to stop the dating, and return to just being friends. Ian grudgingly admits some respect for Adam's willingness to stay at the site of the bones, and acknowledges the hardship of knowing that Adam's father murdered Adam's mother. The others come back, reporting that they think the killer is returning to the scene of the crime - then Ian notices something -there's a skull in the hole too - a sheep's skull! The tension is defused - but is there still someone watching them from behind the bushes?
Episode 15
Episode #23.15
Nathan is out with Briony, but his date is spoiled when Briony is recognized by a member of the public, and a drink accidentally spilled on her dress. Katy, still out camping, is on her own and nervous because she can hear someone nearby, but then the others come back. Katy teaches them about Aborignal beliefs and they paint their faces. To their astonishment they hear a didgereedoo - Max has improvised one - and see a wallaby (they think it is a kangaroo). A man they meet explains that there are many wallabies who have bred after escaping from a wildlife park. Evelyn finally tells Kelly that she's pregnant and that Simon's dumped her. Alec goes to school to talk about his experiences as a homeless man. Arnie's at home getting nagged by his father - Arnie tells him he's not interested in going to university. After Alec's talk, Wayne is determined to do something big - he gets the idea from Kelly's off the cuff remark to collect cardboard boxes, and give the money to homeless charities. Anika's mother is cross because she only received 'B's in her science - Anika wishes her mum could be more like Amy's. Spencer reveals that his father never did have a job that he went away for - but he can't explain where he is. The cardboard box venture gets underway, with a prize of a day out for the year who do the best. Arnie seems to be quite different to how he used to be to Colin and Nathan. He seems on the verge of quitting Sixth Form altogether. Simon explains his situation to Mr. Robson and they mutually agree he must leave. Kelly buttonholes him angrily afterwards - she lays off him when she realizes he genuinely didn't get the letter Evelyn sent. Outside school, Mr. Robson tells Arnie he needs to come and see him tomorrow - Arnie mutters under his breath that he won't be here tomorrow. In the Arches, Ray is horrified when Arnie suddenly falls off his stool and convulses. Ray hides Arnie's condition from Colin and Nathan when they enter the café. Simon gets home and searches through the piles of mail at the bedsit's until he finds the letter from Evelyn, wishing he'd noticed it before. Mr. Robson goes to meet his alcohol counsellor. To his amazement he finds Adam's father there, but is surprised to find that far from being a patient - Mr. Hawkins is to be his counsellor!
Episode 16
Episode #23.16
Arnie's leaves a suicide note on his computer - telling his father to take a look at the hard drive because it's acting up. He is smartly dressed as he heads off for his interview for a university place in his dad's car. The boxes are starting to pile up at school. At a petrol station, a hitchhiker pushily asks for a lift - Arnie tries to fob her off saying he doesn't know where he is going. She perseveres and he gives her a lift. Colin's brought a camera crew to school for interviewing the kids about movies they recommend - Wayne makes sure everyone wears one of his homeless campaign tee-shirts. Arnie and his mystery companion reach their destination - a block of flats. Arnie's still considering ending it all and the tower block might provide the answer - he willingly follows his female hitchhiker as she ascends. At school, Adam has a meeting with Mr. Robson who assures him that Adam's father's alcoholism is a thing of the past - now Mr. Hawkins is even counselling others. On the rooftops, Arnie finds an array of wind chimes - Arnie's companion explains it was built by her late brother, now her guardian angel - she goes down to get some cakes. When he's alone, Arnie climbs through the barrier, and balances on the edge, closing his eyes. He feels the wind, and after a while he returns, a smile on his face. Evelyn rings Simon's doorbell, and he answers. "Don't you ever answer your phone calls," he says. "Don't you ever ready your letters," she replies. By his car, Arnie notices there is a cake on his seat - and takes a bite. He returns home and immediately deletes his suicide note from the computer. At Spencer's house, Calvin has cooked a meal for Spencer's mother and friends - it's supposed to be "bubble and squeak", but Anika wonders if it is "Leather and Burnt". There's a genuine sense of warmth in the Spencer house, as they work out that Calvin didn't boil the cabbage before frying it - but then Spencer's father's voice is heard at the door. Out of sight, he remarks that he hopes things have cooled down and asks if anyone's been "poking their noses in"...
Episode 17
Episode #23.17
Kelly tries to cover for Evelyn when her mother calls to find out where she is, but under pressure, Kelly explains that she's with Simon. The next morning, Evelyn wakes up at Simon's place. There are several fund raising events taking place after school, including a special Maths Club taken by the popular Miss Fraser. Ben's doing a "pound a kiss" - if he can get any takers. Cracker's brought a ventriloquist's dummy, fondly believing that his lips don't move when he makes the dummy talk. Darren and the other Year 8's have a guess "what's in the jar" item. Spencer makes apologies for his father's turfing out of his friends the night before. Nathan is astonished when he looks up from watching Briony on TV to find that she's being shown round school by Mr. Robson - she is after a transfer to Grange Hill. Matt seems to have a thing going with Katy. With his new found confidence, Arnie goes to the doctor's for tests: she gives him some trial medication for his epilepsy, with orders to give up driving and a suggestion to speak to his dad. Ian and Ben are amazed to get a kiss from Miss Fraser. Spencer isn't pleased to find he's got to spend the evening alone with his father, who has already made the place a tip. At the studios, Colin is told he's been chosen to front a major new children's TV series, but he's not entirely sure he wants to. The Double Dare Gang plan to grab the cardboard boxes from Max's dad's hotel before Max himself gets to them. While Tracy and Lisa distract reception, Cracker and Tom whiz round the back with a trolley. Outside school, Mr. Hankin has joined with Alec and Wayne in an exercise camping out as though homeless. He's initially enthusiastic, but soon his stomach is rumbling and he goes off to stretch his legs - ordering a pizza from his mobile. His absence is soon sussed - and he shares round the take-away pizza. Mr. Jones is spending the evening with Miss Carver at a restaurant - he spots trolleys loaded with cardboard going by. It's the morning, and Arnie finally tells his father that he has epilepsy - his father puts his business matters to one side and is supportive. Spencer has trouble getting out of the house with his father around, expecting him to be a servant to his needs, and twitchy at every passing police siren. Spencer decides that the "guess what's in the jar" substance should be added to his father's tea. Tracy overhears the Year 9's talking about their lost boxes, and learns that Katy's been seeing Matt. Ian and Max decide that the theft of "their" boxes is one step too far - they declare war!
Episode 18
Episode #23.18
The Year 9's are determined to make up for lost time in getting boxes, and plan on get the ones behind Anika's mother's shop. The Ofsted inspector ends his sentence with a preposition, observes Miss Carver, then he ends his sentence with a proposition - and asks her out. Year Eight start using dirty tactics to get boxes - they watch where Cracker stashes his lot, and where he puts the key afterwards, and use it gain entrance. Katy goes to an "Australian House Disco" meeting Matt there. Anika gets grief from her mother when the Year 9's grab the cardboard boxes from behind her shop. Meanwhile, Wayne gets a shock when he finds out that companies don't pay for cardboard any more - more the reverse, they require money to take it away. Arnie finds he's misplaced his Epilepsy tablets. Mr. Jones is keen to have another date with Miss Carver. Colin talks to Ray in the café about his opportunity to become a big name in television - but he's having doubts about moving in that direction, and leaving his friends behind. Mr. Hankin seems to have his comedy stand-up lodged into his head - he treats his science class to a series of gags, using a Bunsen burner as a make-believe microphone. Afterwards, Matt finds he is in the doghouse with the others because of his girlfriend Katy - a deadly enemy in the cardboard rivalry. Kelly tries to make peace with Evelyn, but finds she's not forgiven for telling Evelyn's mother about Simon. Mr. Robson is thinking about getting a celebrity to hand over a giant cheque as the fund-raising reaches its end - Nathan mentions that he knows someone, and somehow Mr. Robson gets it into his head that it is someone from "Alive and Kicking". Arnie keeps trying to tell Nathan and Colin about his epilepsy, but they make light of his seriousness. Finally, as he's once again trying, he collapses in the playground, and has a fit in a most public manner. Mrs. Modi, Anika's mother, visits Spencer's house, thinking that Spencer and Anika are actually an item. They are both agreed that they want the two to stop seeing each other. Each have their own prejudices against each other. The Double Dare Gang are convinced that Matt's the one who's revealed where their now missing stash of cardboard has gone. It's Nathan and Colin's turn to spend the night outdoors with Alec - this time "Dai Hard" Jones is there too. Colin has a chance to talk about his unhappiness at the idea of fame - of his face being recognized by strangers. When Spencer's mother returns, she sticks up for Anika's mother in the face of Mr. Spencer's usual rant against "foreigners". At home, in his bedroom, Arnie tears up all his coursework, and cries...
Episode 19
Episode #23.19
"Staff in Uniform of Their Day" reads the notice. Katy makes a joke about Mr. Hankin's knobbly knees, but Ian and Max ignore her - she's an outcast for fraternizing with Matt. Evelyn and Simon talk to a counselor about her pregnancy. Evie is uncertain of what she wants, and her relationship with Simon has soured too. The escalating dispute over cardboard starts a food fight between Spencer and Ian in the canteen. Lisa decides some negotiation is in order and a meeting is convened in the Arches Café. It looks like another food fight is about to start when the accusations fly around, so Ray steps in and puts some perspective into things - the reason for the campaign being to help the homeless. After some discussion, it is realized that Matt and Katy had nothing to do with the various cardboard "thefts" and are reconciled back as friends again to their respective groups. Then there's a surprise when Matt's true girlfriend arrives - Slyvie. Arnie is at home in his bedroom, in a brooding mood when Colin and Nathan visit, but it is heavy weather to lift him out of his depression. The day dawns when the staff dress up in period school uniform. Miss Fraser wears a very short skirt, Mrs. Holmes has a wartime teacher's outfit, Miss Carver has a 1950's straw boater look, and Mr. Robson is dressed like "Just William". Mr. Hankin is fined for coming in his usual suit. Anika and Calvin meet with some racist abuse in the playground - Spencer steps in to defend them. Afterwards, Spencer realizes he has earnt some respect from the others. Sarah-Jane and Wayne explain to an unhappy Mr. Robson about the cardboard - then she has the brainwave to use the boxes for a bonfire and to charge admission. As the day comes to a close, Kelly's about to share Alec's homeless experience when Evelyn appears, also with a sleeping bag. It seems Colin has deliberately negotiated them together so they can sort their differences out. They walk off, talk for a while and are reconciled back as friends - Evelyn explains she is still unsure what to do about her pregnancy. After an unsatisfactory meeting with Mr. Robson in his less than inspiring schoolboy shorts, Anika's mother is determined that Anika should have the best education, even if that means moving the girl to another school. At home, Spencer is proud of his stand against racism - he tells his mum and dad - deep down all bullies are cowards - looking at his father in a knowing way. Just then the doorbell rings - it's the police again, who now have a description of the racist assailant. Mr. Spencer gives an alibi about being at home on that day - his wife won't say that she remembers, and the question is passed onto Spencer himself...
Episode 20
Episode #23.20
When it comes to the crunch, Spencer doesn't blow his dad's alibi of being at home when the racist attack took place nearby. The next day, Anika is upset because her mum has decided to change her school. Mr. Robson tells Anika that their year have won the prize for the most boxes, but she passes on the privilege of accepting to Spencer - he is as pleased as punch. The Double Dare Gang have decided on "retirement", but Mr. Hankin has in mind a special final dare for them. At home, Spencer tries to keep the secret of his boxes prize from his father - when he demands to know what's going on, instead Spencer reveals that he saw his father hitting the man. He shouts at his father that he is not scared of him any more. Nathan can't get his hoped celebrity guest, and tries to persuade Colin instead. Mr. Hargreaves sees Calvin in the street but Calvin is not in any mood to speak, and as he runs off, Calvin's inhaler falls out of his bag. Calvin has an asthma attack as he reaches the pond, but Arnie is there deep in thought and comes to the rescue. At hospital, as Calvin recovers, Arnie learns a lesson about taking an attitude towards one's own limitations, as regards his own epilepsy. After spending the night away, Spencer's dad comes home - he's decided he will give himself up to the police. It's time for the afternoon fayre and bonfire in aid of the homeless. Mrs. Modi learns a few positive things about Anika from Mr. Robson and Miss Carver. Miss Carver turns up with Mr. Xavier, a little worried about being seen with him in front of Mr. Jones, after seeing both men on and off. Evelyn comes to a decision - she'll talk to her mother that afternoon about her situation: Simon also wants to go. Year 9's have a surprise - Franco returns on crutches. Nathan's about to confess there's no special guest after all, when Mrs. Holmes introduces an old friend to Mr. Robson - Linford Christie! Linford gives Spencer his prize, and announces the total amount raised to be over £4000. The bonfire is lit, but Mr. Hargreaves doesn't wait around any longer, and heads off to the police station. Anika's a bit despondent, until her mother tells her that she's going to be allowed to stay. Arnie, newly refreshed from seeing Calvin's positive attitude, arrives at the bonfire afternoon. Colin tells him that he's decided to take the TV job after all and Arnie tells Colin that he plans to spend a further year resitting his exams. There's a final surprise (courtesy of the Double Dare Gang and Mr. Hankin) when "aliens" emerge from some of the cardboard boxes. As Mr. Hankin reads the spiel in a spooky voice, about how "they" came and went suddenly, the "aliens" turn round one by one, to read the legend "OFSTED"! The fireworks are let off, and the crowds enjoy the spectacle...
