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8 Episodes 2017 - 2017
Episode 1
On the first ever episode the gals explore the latest lifestyle trends, give bona fide health advice and penetrate the real issues affecting you and your family, all with a smile drilled down the barrel of what could be the right camera. The Kates tackle 'dude food' and go inside Marie Kondo's life-changing decluttering method. They'll drink turmeric that's been put into a liquid. And finally, they will chat to A-List celebrity guest Sam Neill.
Episode 2
After a month on air, the Kates have found their groove and are ploughing ahead with only marginally more understanding of how to conduct a live broadcast. A new addition to the team is news reporter Scarlett Nicdao, who is also an unpaid Year 10 intern. Whatever charisma she lacks is made up tenfold by the radiant weather girl, Bekjut, who has just returned from maternity leave with the figure of a 19-year-old figure skater. Fashion Krackspert Helen Bidou brings Bali to everyone's doorstep with a piping hot tutorial on sarongs, but the wheels come off the show when a mindfulness segment is interrupted by news that McCartney has been shortlisted for the main role in a US remake of a Scandi-Noir thriller, The Tower. McLennan can't understand why she, the trained thespian, has been overlooked and sets out to prove that she is the real heart, backbone and blonde hair of the duo.
Episode 3
It's an extra-special episode of Get Krack!n today because the Kates are being joined by an A-List celebrity co-host. According to Bryce from her record label, the international pop superstar is a huge fan of the show and will definitely be arriving at any moment. The Kates are way too pumped to care about melting polar ice caps and what lies ahead for the most recent evictee of hit dating show The Boyfriend. The Get Krack!n Kash Kock pays a special visit to give away cash to one lucky viewer - but only if they answer within three rings. - and an adorable Australian animal waits in the wings for a cuddle with the Hollywood starlet. McLennan takes the celebrity endorsement as irrefutable proof that the show is not shit and that people do like it, but McCartney will reserve judgment on this matter until she hears it from the star herself.
Episode 4
McLennan isn't feeling one hundred percent this morning due to some uncomfortable downstairs "situation", and McCartney is dismayed to find herself carrying the show during her co-host's prolonged trips to the bathroom. To compound this pressure, the Get Krack!n technical department is having a decidedly off day with music and sound cues misfiring like a Trident missile, so McCartney really is riding solo. She soldiers through a psychotic bread-making display from a group of food truck pioneers, but her patience wears thin during a demonstration of labour-intensive bento boxes for kids' lunches. McLennan appears briefly to hear about Fall décor essentials and what's new with nail art, but is mostly backstage pissing. McLennan finally gets to the business end of her gynaecological issues just in time for McCartney to be violated by an obscene virtual reality display.
Episode 5
McLennan kicks off the show looking like Frankenstein's monster because she's of the mistaken belief that it's Halloween; a view that's all but confirmed by McCartney's wardrobe choice, which makes her resemble Maggie Thatcher's ghost. After receiving a quick lesson on the International Date Line and how skin tone works, McLennan moves on to cleaning up her next mistake of the day, by making an orchestrated apology for a problematic joke that she made about bisexuality on a previous episode. After clearing the air, McLennan can't understand why her co-host is still grouchy. Sure, the flamenco guitar player doesn't have a great grasp of personal space, stray things keep wandering in through the Street View window and Helen Bidou has delivered her segment from the studio floor - but they're on TV, doing their dream jobs. As McCartney investigates other career options, it's becoming clear that McLennan is having an allergic reaction to green face paint and as the swelling and discolouration gets worse, it becomes harder to convince her co-host that she is not a monster.
Episode 6
Only minutes into the Get Krack!n Women's Health Day special, news breaks that a large-scale incident has occurred. The Prime Minister will make a live announcement, and at the minty fresh hour of 3am, the Kates are the only ones on air to break the story. McLennan is grimly determined and obviously thrilled to provide hard-hitting coverage of whatever it is, but McCartney struggles to be swept up in her fervour because she is dealing with her own personal tragedy; she has been put in a yellow dress. It's probably a monumental and harrowing day for the country, and the Kates reach out to share the emotions of unrelated parties on Twitter and on the deserted pre-dawn streets. As they await the Prime Minister's briefing, they prepare for what the incident might potentially be. Is it killer smart sharks? A vaginal infection? Susan Carland's Muslim army? Have any Aussie or English-speaking lives been lost? Only time will tell, but ideally within the remaining ten to fifteen minutes of the show.
Episode 7
It's been a long night, neither of The Kates have had any sleep, and they've had to bring their sick kids to work with them because women never get to f*ing stop. McCartney insists that her daughter is teething, despite the obvious fact she has hand, foot and mouth disease just like McLennan's kid. The Kates stagger lamely through an interview with a child skateboarding prodigy while both toddlers scream from their dressing room. The crew, like their partners, are ignoring The Kates pleas for childcare assistance so it's not surprising when one of the kids wanders the studio backlot during a lesson for busy mums on how to do gardening at night. Nakkiah Lui and Miranda Tapsell briefly take over the desk to give the Kates a moment of respite, but when a renowned photographer lets slip that he left two kids behind with his wife while he gallivanted around Antarctica for four months the women, like McCartney's blistering lips, finally crack.
Episode 8
It's the season finale of Get Krack!n and the show has lost its major sponsor, advertorial company Danza Direct, due to a biosecurity mishap - but the Kates have expenses and no other skills so they need this show to go 'round again. They are bright, they are chatty, their cortisol levels are through the roof and they're determined that this finale will not be the 'finale' finale of the show. Unfortunately, most of the crew are still drunk from their floor manager, Mern's, wedding the previous night and their shoddy camera work and projectile vomiting puts the whole enterprise at risk. The Kates are irritated but undeterred - they lose it over a funny dog video and obsess over fermented foods and an ex-Olympian's new line of bathers. Convincing potential new sponsors that they can physically endure another season, let alone another 20-30 minutes of the show, will be the performance of a lifetime.