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26 Episodes 1963 - 1964
Episode 1
Thu, Aug 1, 196325 mins
Hans Conried introduces the first episode of "Fractured Flickers" in front of a framed photograph of Theda Bara with a mustache painted over her face. He explains the premise of the show: old silent pictures are condensed, reedited and given wacky new soundtracks. He demonstrates by showing a scene from an old bullfighting picture, Blood and Sand (1922), and then showing it again in a "fractured" version. Next we see a woman with a black veil over her face talking to a man in the park. The fractured soundtrack reveals that the woman is an advertising model sick of being typecast; the man is her agent. "The 39 Stoops" is next, a wacky version of Alfred Hitchcock's The 39 Steps (1935). Rose Marie stops in for an interview. Later, Conried informs us that standards in male beauty have changed just as much as standards in female beauty, which explains how a fat Elmo Lincoln came to play the title role in Tarzan of the Apes (1918). The fractured version is "Tarfoot of the Apes," which gives us a giggling Lord of the Jungle; a Jane whose cheap perfume drives men crazy; and a native African tribe that dances the Charleston. A family out for a drive in their rickety horseless carriage provides the material for "Route 56," a parody of the TV series, Route 66 (1960). Finally, Conried quotes the immortal words of Dr. Denton: "That just about buttons it up for tonight."
Episode 2
Thu, Aug 8, 196325 mins
Take old movies, throw away the soundtrack, add your own voices and sound effects and BAM! You've got a comedy masterpiece. Each episode is a ridiculous conglomeration of jokes and mayhem.
Episode 3
Thu, Aug 15, 196325 mins
Take old movies, throw away the soundtrack, add your own voices and sound effects and BAM! You've got a comedy masterpiece. Each episode is a ridiculous conglomeration of jokes and mayhem.
Episode 4
Thu, Aug 22, 196330 mins
Take old movies, throw away the soundtrack, add your own voices and sound effects and BAM! You've got a comedy masterpiece. Each episode is a ridiculous conglomeration of jokes and mayhem.
Episode 5
Thu, Aug 29, 196325 mins
Guest Annette Funicello confesses to Hans that she never watches the show. Recordings reveal how silent movie director Frederick Fig achieved his unforgettable results in "The Cut Away." A simple country dermatologist cures a man's dry skin in "Hands Across the Fee." Lon Cheney stars as Quasimodo in his first film comedy, "Dinky Dunstan, Boy Cheerleader." A preview of next week's episode of the "Adventures of Harry and Ozziet."
Episode 6
Thu, Sep 5, 196325 mins
Segments include Buster Keaton running a moving company and a salute to Pasedena, California, and its Rose Bowl parade. Horton discusses his favorite movie, 1926's "Young April." That flicker is re-cut as "The Prince and the Poppa" with the king sending his dopey son in search of a rich baseball-playing heiress to marry.
Episode 7
Thu, Sep 12, 196325 mins
Take old movies, throw away the soundtrack, add your own voices and sound effects and BAM! You've got a comedy masterpiece. Each episode is a ridiculous conglomeration of jokes and mayhem.
Episode 8
Thu, Sep 19, 196321 mins
Take old movies, throw away the soundtrack, add your own voices and sound effects and BAM! You've got a comedy masterpiece. Each episode is a ridiculous conglomeration of jokes and mayhem.
Episode 9
Thu, Sep 26, 196325 mins
Take old movies, throw away the soundtrack, add your own voices and sound effects and BAM! You've got a comedy masterpiece. Each episode is a ridiculous conglomeration of jokes and mayhem.
Episode 10
Thu, Oct 3, 196325 mins
Clips and sketches include "Previews of Next Week's Show," "The Fatal Question" (a restaurant patron deluged with hiccup remedies), "A Letter From Camp" (a man describes life in prison as if he were in camp), an interview with Vivien Della Chiesa, "Mr. G. Whizz" (an inventor goes around showing off his invention), "The Blackboard Bungle" (a student at the most inaccessible school is rescued from charges of hooky) and "Bride and Gloom" (a man describes his relationship with his wife).
Episode 11
Thu, Oct 10, 196325 mins
Clips and sketches include "Saturday Night at the Horse Races" (hijinxs at the horse races), "Hollywood Magazine on the Air" (a tourist's view of 1920s Hollywood), an interview with actress Connie Stevens, "The Auditor's Report" (an auditor's overseas business trip for his company) and "Coming Attractions" (scenes from up-coming movies).
Episode 12
Thu, Oct 17, 196325 mins
Clips and sketches include "Who is this Man?" (a search for a man through archival footage), "Friendly Land Grab Real Estate" (a pitchman tries selling land in Yucca Flats), "The Annual Flemmy Awards" (a satire of award shows), an interview with Rod Serling, "Fungo Foster" (the story of the inventor of the balsa bat) and "Owed to an Indian" (a poem to the survivors of Custer's Last Stand).
Episode 13
Thu, Oct 24, 196325 mins
Clips and sketches include "Hey, Boating Fans" (a guide to building a boat), "The Dalt Wizley Program" (a man's tour of his own amusement park), an interview with Connie Hines, "How the West was Lost" (a pseudo-documentary of the Wild West) and "Minute Mystery" (detective Sherman Oakes off in search of stolen rocket plans).
Episode 14
Thu, Oct 31, 196325 mins
Take old movies, throw away the soundtrack, add your own voices and sound effects and BAM! You've got a comedy masterpiece. Each episode is a ridiculous conglomeration of jokes and mayhem.
Episode 15
Thu, Nov 7, 196325 mins
Take old movies, throw away the soundtrack, add your own voices and sound effects and BAM! You've got a comedy masterpiece. Each episode is a ridiculous conglomeration of jokes and mayhem.
Episode 16
Thu, Nov 14, 196325 mins
Our host escapes a mob of "Fractured Flickers" fans - as he calls them - and introduces the first segment, "Saturday Night at the Bike Races" filmed from the sports capital of the world: Muncie, Indiana. Next, Conried comments on the mysterious bit player opposite Lillian Gish in "Birth of a Nation." A commercial for "Deadsel: America's Luxury Car" looks ominous. Conried's question-and-answer period is only long enough to provide the answers. "A Fractured Flickers Report: Spike That Rumor" claims that all rumors now current derive from a single fat-mouthed barber. "Tan Vicky's Gym" promises you a better body. Conried introduces Maureen O'Hara only to find that his guest is really Bullwinkle J. Moose. "Yetta Hari's Master Spy Kit" includes everything you need. Conried reads notes from the "Fractured Flickers" fan club. Next is "Minute Mystery No. 402564." Conried hails Theodore J. Hasslebladd for saving the motion picture business. Finally, an "Ode to an Engineer."
Episode 17
Thu, Nov 21, 196325 mins
Take old movies, throw away the soundtrack, add your own voices and sound effects and BAM! You've got a comedy masterpiece. Each episode is a ridiculous conglomeration of jokes and mayhem.
Episode 18
Thu, Nov 28, 196325 mins
Take old movies, throw away the soundtrack, add your own voices and sound effects and BAM! You've got a comedy masterpiece. Each episode is a ridiculous conglomeration of jokes and mayhem.
Episode 19
Thu, Dec 5, 196325 mins
Our host, Han Conried, has disappointing news for sports fans. Conried reads letters from viewers, one of whom is less than admiring. "Fractured Flickers" offers a "Big Contest." Our host regrets that Biff Sturdly will not give his talk, "Actors Are Just Plain Folks." National Safety Month inspires a death-defying public service announcement. Noted he-man, Lachs Dungelfinger, promotes Maidenform gun belts. "Jay Ward Prevues" feature clips from the upcoming series, "Mr. No-Jack," "My Favorite Martini," "Unfair Exchange" and "Mr. Fred." Fey spokesmen promote Fairytown cigarettes. Conried interviews Anna Mari Alberghetti but can't persuade her to sing. Conried reads a telegram from a sponsor who delivers a back-handed compliment. Heavenly Day, the world's foremost astrologist, tells your future. Conried reads a few words about the show from various newspaper clippings. "Pick Your College" offers helpful advice. "Hey, Culture Fans!" delivers good news for music lovers. Mrs. L from Ontario wants to know if Conried's profession upsets his home life. "Odd Occupations" shows various animals and people making a weird living. Conried closes by offering a trivial tidbit calculated to warm the viewers' hearts.
Episode 20
Thu, Dec 12, 196325 mins
Take old movies, throw away the soundtrack, add your own voices and sound effects and BAM! You've got a comedy masterpiece. Each episode is a ridiculous conglomeration of jokes and mayhem.
Episode 21
Thu, Dec 19, 196325 mins
Take old movies, throw away the soundtrack, add your own voices and sound effects and BAM! You've got a comedy masterpiece. Each episode is a ridiculous conglomeration of jokes and mayhem.
Episode 22
Thu, Dec 26, 196325 mins
Take old movies, throw away the soundtrack, add your own voices and sound effects and BAM! You've got a comedy masterpiece. Each episode is a ridiculous conglomeration of jokes and mayhem.
Episode 23
Thu, Jan 2, 196425 mins
"The Big Prize" contest promises prizes viewers never knew they wanted. A commercial advertises a school for "Lady Cops." Guest Pat Carroll joins Hans Conried to take calls from the show's strange viewers. The rules of "Fractured Flickers" scouting are detailed. The "Hollywood Low-Down" chronicles shenanigans on the set of Kentucky Feldman's newest movie. On "Saturday Night at the Sundae," hundreds of jerks compete in the soda jerking contest.
Episode 24
Thu, Jan 9, 196425 mins
Segments include a profile of the typical "Fractured Flickers" viewer, a piece on 1920s bootlegging gangsters, and a Flicker's auction of merchandise they stole being held in Skid Row, California. Bob Newhart pickets on behalf of dead comedians who aren't being paid when the show uses clips of their films.
Episode 25
Thu, Jan 16, 196425 mins
Two women claim to be the real Anne Marie Lesser on "To Yell the Truth." Consumers Bureau Report evaluates office furniture, hammers, eggs, split pea soup, and a Bullwinkle Moose costume. The "Fractured Flickers Guide To Income Tax Fun" assures viewers that the IRS staff is a sweet bunch. Conried and Ursula Andress talk to silent film star Theda Bara with a Ouija board. An idiot get his client in the papers, all right, by setting him up with a floozy in "Day of Destiny." Soused detective Reginald Tower of London reviews a famous case. Flicker's All-Pro football team of oddball gets profiled.
Episode 26
Thu, Jan 23, 196425 mins
Take old movies, throw away the soundtrack, add your own voices and sound effects and BAM! You've got a comedy masterpiece. Each episode is a ridiculous conglomeration of jokes and mayhem.