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Duckman: Private Dick/Family Man Season 3 Episodes
Season 3 Episode Guide
20 Episodes 1996 - 1996
Episode 1
Noir Gang
Sat, Jan 6, 1996
Cornfed and Duckman both fall in love with a client in this black and white neo-noir tribute.
Episode 2
Forbidden Fruit
Sat, Jan 13, 1996
Bernice hires a luscious French Nanny - actually King Chicken in disguise - and Duckman heads down the road in temptation. Even though, for the first time in his life, he never actually does anything wrong, he is slapped with a sexual harassment charge - all part of King Chicken's evil plot (Tim Curry is the voice of King Chicken).
Episode 3
Grandma-ma's Flatulent Adventure
Sat, Jan 20, 1996
Growing tired of consistently taking care of Grandma-ma, Duckman decides to leave her in a car one night while engaging in his usual debauchery. However, when he returns, he finds the car and Grandma-ma missing.
Episode 4
Color of Naught
Sat, Jan 27, 1996
Lolita Davidovich reprises her role as the voice of Angela, an unwitting pawn in yet another diabolical plot by Duckman's arch-enemy, the evil genius King Chicken (Tim Curry). This time, King Chicken's scheme involves destroying the entire city, leaving Duckman alone to suffer.
Episode 5
Sperms of Endearment
Sat, Feb 10, 1996
When the alarm on Bernice's biological clock goes off, she visits a sperm bank, run by Terry "Duke" Tetzloff (played by John Astin), the shady sperm bank owner/operator/salesman who aids Bernice with her insemination. Unfortunately, she discovers that the likely source of her impregnation is none other than Duckman.
Episode 6
A Room with a Bellevue
Sat, Feb 17, 1996
Duckman pleads insanity to avoid paying a $10 fine, ends up trapped in an asylum - and loves it. Things get even better when he's given electroshock therapy and released: finally our hero is at peace with the world's madness.
Episode 7
Apocalypse Not
Sat, Feb 24, 1996
Not knowing the whole town is in an underground shelter for a disaster drill, Duckman thinks he's the last duck on earth and launches an orgy of looting and destruction - till he meets the last woman.
Episode 8
Clear and Presidente Danger
Sat, Mar 2, 1996
In a third-world country, Duckman inadvertably becomes the leader of a revolution, and is placed as the country's leader.
Episode 9
The Girls of Route Canal
Sat, Mar 9, 1996
In a sappy flashback quite reminiscent of "The Bridges of Madison County", Duckman recalls his courtship of Beatrice back when he was a traveling nudie photographer. David Duchovny guest as the voice of Robert, the loving husband who stands between Duckman's and Beatrice's unbridled passion.
Episode 10
The Mallardian Candidate
Sat, Mar 16, 1996
Duckman is hypnotized to kill Cornfed, in a spoof of "The Manchurian Candidate."
Episode 11
Pig Amok
Sat, Apr 6, 1996
Cornfed reveals that he has an incurable disease, passed on from generation to generation, and if he doesn't lose his virginity in 24 hours, he will die. Duckman attempts to help him, but his advice on picking up women all fail. Finally, at the last minute, Bernice takes pity on Cornfed, and has sex with him.
Episode 12
The Once and Future Duck
Sat, Apr 13, 1996
When Ajax accidentally tears a hole in the space-time continuum (hey, it happens), Duckman is visited by hordes of Duckmen from the future, each with different demands on how he lives his life to keep them happy. Rhonda Shear, host of USA's "Up All Night" guests as herself.
Episode 13
The One with Lisa Kudrow in a Small Role
Sat, Apr 20, 1996
Ajax is abducted by inferior beings and taken to their happy, yet backward, planet called Beta Max where they worship him as a leader. The Beta Maxians follow his Duckman-inspired wisdom as if it were gospel, and soon enough their simplistic existence becomes corrupted with hate, bile, rage and nudie shows. Lisa Kudrow provides the voices for all of the female Beta Maxians (as they all sound exactly alike).
Episode 14
Aged Heat
Sat, Apr 27, 1996
A vicious killer holds the Duckman household hostage for many desperate hours - and she's a dead ringer for Grandma-ma. Brian Doyle Murray provides the voice for Agnes, the evil imposter for Grandma-ma.
Episode 15
They Craved Duckman's Brain!
Sat, May 4, 1996
Is a satire of the American health system, Duckman's brain tissue is discovered to hold the cure for cancer - and the profit-obsessed medical establishment will stop at nothing to suppress it. Guest voices are Maureen McGovern, Judith Light and Joe Walsh, as himself.
Episode 16
The Road to Dendron
Sat, May 11, 1996
In homage to the Hope-Crosby "Road" pictures, Duckman and Cornfed travel to the sand-swept Sahara in search of the kidnapped Ajax and stumble on a plot to kill an exotic desert Prince - who is an exact double for Ajax! Guest voices provided by Amanda Plummer, James Avery, Jay Thomas and John Rhys-Davies.
Episode 17
Exile in Guyville
Sat, May 25, 1996
A televised argument between Duckman and Bernice results in the country being split between the male and female populations.
Episode 18
The Longest Weekend
Sat, Jun 22, 1996
In satire of nationalism, the Dutch Elm Street Association gets special favor for its block, spurring Duckman's North Phlegm Street to form it's own group, with Duckman as President. Despite Cornfed's peace-keeping efforts, an actual war breaks out between the two neighborhoods. Gilbert Gottfried guest voices as Art DeSalvo, Andrea Martin as Mayor Gallagher, and Judy Tenuta as Edna.
Episode 19
The Amazing Colossal Duckman
Sat, Jun 29, 1996
A rare disease causes Duckman to grow several inches each time he rants against society. He enjoys the power that comes with his new size until daily life becomes impossible. Finding he can't stifle his rants, Duckman exiles himself to an uninhabited island where he's forced to admit that, obnoxious as they are, he needs other people.
Episode 20
Cock Tales for Four
Sat, Jul 6, 1996
Duckman and Bernice go to meet Ajax's girlfriend parents - who turn out to be King and Honey Chicken. The lifelong enemies actually overcome their traditional hostility until, as the drinks flow, suburban jealousy and sexual tensions rear their ugly heads. Judith Light guest voices as Honey Chicken.
