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Archer Season 5 Episodes
Season 5 Episode Guide
13 Episodes 2014 - 2014
Episode 1
Archer Vice: White Elephant
Mon, Jan 13, 201419 mins
After the FBI storms ISIS HQ, the team is charged with an alphabet soup of crime, including treason. Malory negotiates to secure the release of the entire team, but this entails giving up ISIS. Back at the HQ the team huddles; they fantasize, brag and "crowd resource." Archer asks a very important question then has a vivid idea via musical montage, which foreshadows the entire Season 5 of "Archer Vice."
Episode 2
Archer Vice: A Kiss While Dying
Mon, Jan 20, 201422 mins
"Do ri me fa so la ti BLOW": As Cheryl trains to sing under Ray's tutelage, the rest of the team gather with them at Tunt Manor and attempt to run their new cartel. Pam takes a real liking to their product and Archer gets to revisit an old amigo.
Episode 3
Archer Vice: A Debt of Honor
Mon, Jan 27, 201422 mins
Pam decides to use the million dollars in counterfeit money, acquired in the cartel's previous encounter, to buy amphetamines from the Yakuza. Mr. Moto threatens Pam and Cheryl insults Mr. Moto. A murderous Tunt arms ISIS with old family weaponry. Someone gets shot and needs a hospital, requiring tunnel egress. Archer becomes the team negotiator. It is a lose-lose proposition.
Episode 4
Archer Vice: House Call
Mon, Feb 3, 201422 mins
Now addicted to both amphetamines AND cocaine, shapely Pam has a problem; the team plans to restrain and keep her locked up until she is clean. Krieger finds a spare brain chip: who shall receive a transplant? An unexpected visit from law enforcement causes Cyril Esq. to wax Socratic on the 4th Amendment. Cyril shouldn't quit his day job. The team has to scramble to keep Agent Holley from finding cartel product, hostages or actionable criminal offenses.
Episode 5
Archer Vice: Southbound and Down
Mon, Feb 24, 201421 mins
Krieger may have created a monster with his brain chip; but he does restore Ray's ability to walk...when Ray is sufficiently grateful. The "quite-soon-to-be number one country singer in America" Cherlene, gets a gig on Travis County Limits. But, "Cherlene don't fly" and since they only have 36 hours to get to Texas, Archer knows how to go old-school, "Smokey and the Bandit" style. Archer and Pam (a.k.a. Snowball) take the blocker car; Cyril drives the Cherlene bus with the songbird, Lana and Malory. Who knew there was a bunch of contraband aboard?
Episode 6
Archer Vice: Baby Shower
Mon, Mar 3, 201421 mins
Money is tight and Malory is extra cranky, nagging the team to earn money. Miss Outlaw Country and Mr. Danger Zone are slated to star at a baby shower for Lana; Archer can't rest until he gets his idol to sing as his special gift for the expectant mother. But, Kenny Loggins has his own problems...it takes Archer and Pam some finagling to locate and get him on board. But Lana skipped the '80s. Woodhouse is the one who really saves the day. How, exactly, is Archer financing all of this fun and frivolity?
Episode 7
Archer Vice: Smugglers' Blues
Mon, Mar 10, 201420 mins
Archer forces Ray and Cyril to accompany him (and pounds/kilos of product) to Colombia on a secret mission to do business with the leader of the Cali cartel. Back at Tunt Manor, each of the ISIS gang reacts to the mission in his/her own way: Lana plays mother, Pam eats cocaine, Woodhouse perfects "GILF Cam" skills, Krieger tracks the trio via "Snacklesnaps", Cherlene sings, and Malory fumes. No one is surprised when Archer's ginormous mouth gets in the way of the scheme. When the Cali leader turns out to be the sensual "La Madrina," Archer thinks he has a slam-dunk...until he finds Ray, Cyril, and himself being driven to a remote Colombian prison.
Episode 8
Archer Vice: The Rules of Extraction
Mon, Mar 17, 201421 mins
En route to Colombian prison, a cow turns out to be lucky for the trio of desperadoes, until they find themselves at the mercy of the jungle. Back at Tunt Manor, Archer's ultimate VM scheme pushes a worried Malory over the edge. Ray has a major brainstorm, which leads to water travel. The girls decide to cheer up Malory with a spa day as Archer obsesses about one of his top 3 fears: crocodiles. Lucky somebody brought guards along for a snack...
Episode 9
Archer Vice: On the Carpet
Mon, Mar 24, 201421 mins
The trio finds an airstrip and plane, loaded with guns, and new letters of the alphabet to worry them: C, I & A. Back at Tunt Manor, Cherlene poses for an album cover in Daisy Dukes and a smile; but Lana has issues with her idea of red, white and blue "pasties." Lana concedes she does not understand art. Later, the trio debriefs with the team at Tunt Manor and tries to piece together information provided by Agent Slater (rocking his iconic Cuong's t-shirt) and Malory draws some conclusions. Does Malory seem to have a lot of crucial information the others do not have?
Episode 10
Archer Vice: Palace Intrigue - Part I
Mon, Mar 31, 201420 mins
Ray flies crates of guns, The Breakfast Club (and the usual stowaways) down to San Marcos so El Presidente Calderon can pay them six million dollars for the guns. In San Marcos, the team is met with a cold welcome until Calderon spots Cherlene, the Queen of Outlaw Country, emerging from a crate. Cherlene merits an invitation for the team to visit Calderon's palace. In the palace, Archer uses his wenching skills and Malory wrangles over money; Krieger makes some startling new acquaintances.
Episode 11
Archer Vice: Palace Intrigue: Part II
Mon, Apr 7, 201420 mins
Members of the team want to leave San Marcos. Lana, Archer and Malory do the scavenging, Cyril is tasked with finding transportation and Pam gets the luggage. Archer continues to be unwitting Honeypot to Juliana Calderon. As Charlene packs to leave, the amorous El Presidente (and Chief Justice) Calderon divorces Juliana, and declares Cherlene his wife. Juliana goes to prison and the rest of the team will either be executed or follow Juliana. But, El Presidente is out of ammo; his guards panic with news of rebel counterattack. When Cyril arrives with "transportation" previously requested by Malory, a new coup d'état is born.
Episode 12
Archer Vice: Filibuster
Mon, Apr 14, 201420 mins
Power goes straight to Cyril's head. He consigns Archer to the same prison where Juliana was imprisoned, then deposes and imprisons Calderon. Cyril forces Juliana to marry him and Cherlene throws a fit. So, Cyril promptly imprisons Cherlene but she carries more than a musical key. Cherlene, Calderon and Archer escape and head for the rebels at the airport. They sidetrack at the zoo to make a new friend. One makes dinner. Cyril dances at his wedding. Krieger emerges from the basement: his clones created a nerve gas missile set to detonate which Krieger cannot stop. Lana heads for the airport, where Archer and Cherlene are being held by the rebels. Lots of stuff starts to break... including Lana's water!
Episode 13
Archer Vice: Arrival/Departure
Mon, Apr 21, 201421 mins
At the airport, Lana, Archer and Cherlene meet the rebels: ISIS was actually selling cocaine as subcontractor. At the palace, Malory teaches a course on "How to Loot a Deposed Government 101" as American armed forces poise for attack. Malory, Cyril and Pam flee with bullion and booty; Ray and Krieger flee with a glowing green canister. They all reach the airport in time for an important delivery. On the flight home, Malory wheels and deals ISIS back into the game and the truth about Cheryl's brain chip is revealed.
