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Archer Season 1 Episodes
Season 1 Episode Guide
10 Episodes 2009 - 2010
Episode 1
Mole Hunt
Thu, Sep 17, 200921 mins
Archer is tortured by Crenshaw, an ISIS agent who sounds German, Russian and American in rapid succession. Malory, the head of ISIS deems the performance of her agent son "unsatisfactory." In his terraced penthouse, drunken Archer "ping-pongs" a French stewardess, marvels at her dog, Abelard, and harasses his ancient British valet, Woodhouse. At ISIS, Archer is an HR nightmare who does not play well with office staff: Pam Poovey, portly head of HR, who dresses like Malory; Dr. Krieger, the mysterious "food rapist," and probable Nazi scientist; Carol (soon to be Cheryl) "Gimple," doe eyed, attractive, space cadet secretary to Malory; Lana Kane, huge green-eyed field agent (and angry ex-girlfriend of Archer); and Cyril Figgis, meek comptroller and Lana's new f-buddy. Discrepancies arise with Archer's operational account; he is determined to bury the evidence. Sterling Archer may not have the password to the ISIS mainframe, but he does have sturdy rappelling gear, tactalnecks...and a handy underwear gun!
Episode 2
Training Day
Thu, Jan 14, 201022 mins
Suave, skillful prowess in the arts of counter-espionage, Krav Maga and dumb luck form the recipe for Archer's success. At a gala in the British Embassy, a drunken Archer single-handedly thwarts a Sein Finn attack. His manly exploits churn the loins of the female guests... including those of Lana, whose date is Mr. Saran Wrap. Malory would do anything to prevent her son from getting involved with Lana again. She hatches a scheme to turn Cyril into a dashing Jr. James Bond. Unfortunately, Archer is the one who has to train Cyril. Add ice cubes, a hooker in the trunk, and then shake, do not stir.
Episode 3
Diversity Hire
Thu, Jan 21, 201021 mins
Archer's says his big mouth gets him into trouble 1/3 of the time, but it is the kiss of death for non-Anglo agents of ISIS. Malory needs to replace them and gets a double whammy with Conway Stern, black Jew. His stuff gets way too close for Archer's comfort. Lana mistrusts Conway as much as Archer dislikes him. When Archer and Conway go on a secret mission involving Wilhelm Schmeck, Lana is determined to follow them. Why is Lana afraid... does she think Conway is a perfidious mole who will figuratively stab Archer in the back? Truckasaurus hands are finally in season. Lana gets a big hand for quick thinking and saving the mission...figuratively and literally.
Episode 4
Killing Utne
Thu, Jan 28, 201022 mins
If Malory invites the ISIS drones to her home, there must be a catch. She wants the U.N. contract from stuffy Torvald Utne, so she throws a dinner party. Everyone shows up with a date but Archer-- even the sensual "Carina," squired by dashing Woodhouse. (Archer's "hoors" pilfer her prescription meds and are not allowed.) The lively ISIS crew repels staid, formal Utne. Luckily, Archer hits the ATM and returns with a bag of blonde eye candy who satisfies Utne's urges. With two Huns in the kitchen, Archer needs baby aspirin, ends up talking to Tiny Man, and wonders if Malory switched aspirin for LSD again. Sudden death turns into a team-building exercise. If Longpig is the alternative, the remaining guests are happy to give up dinner and help a neighbor. It is win-lose-lose: especially for Trudy Beekman!
Episode 5
Honeypot
Thu, Feb 4, 201022 mins
Malory and Nikolai have committed hard-core hanky panky; Cuban agent Ramon Limon has the goods on Malory--on tape. Archer is the only one Malory can trust and asks him to go to Miami to work "The Honeypot." This is usually Archer's very favorite spy ruse, but he is not happy when he hears the logistics. Enter Woodhouse and two genuine gay guys, Charles and Rudi, to insure that Archer goes from sneezing glitter to burying roosters to bonding. Will Archer throw up his ceviche before he can grab the sex tape? Claymore is not the only thing that blows in a volatile Miami spy caper.
Episode 6
Skorpio
Thu, Feb 11, 201022 mins
Lana desperately needs to escape Cyril's oppressive brand of love and bask in the sunny south of France as a guest on the mega-yacht of Skorpio (it's a mononym). Lana frolics and drinks champagne...and starts to thwart a dangerous arms deal. Meanwhile, the Micromanager and Nikolai are aboard "The Chum Guzzler" watching her at work. Malory gets a mixed signal, and Archer goes off half-cocked to rescue Lana. Is three company or a crowd if one counts Skorpio, two ISIS agents and one chocolate fountain? At HQ, Krieger, Cyril, Cheryl and Pam have fun, frolic and fuss at Fort Kickass. Count on Cyril to always pull a boner.
Episode 7
Skytanic
Thu, Feb 18, 201022 mins
Trudy Beekman books the last passage on rigid airship, Excelsior, which runs on non-flammable helium and is the next big thing in luxury travel, but Malory refuses to be outdone by her nemesis. The Captain receives a bomb threat and ISIS is hired to thwart disaster. Malory bogarts a luxury stateroom while the married couple from Hell shares a cramped single; of course, there are stowaways. The menu includes choke sex, Campari Vodka and one semi-indecent proposal from a Sikh. Fiacci knockoffs, an eye patch and a vealy vulva, are only decoration. Will Lana get to visit the Led Zeppelin Suite? Oh, the humanity! The NATO phonetic alphabet (and Wales) will never be the same!
Episode 8
The Rock
Thu, Mar 4, 201021 mins
The Uffizi disaster moved ISIS off the security consultant work for foreign powers and governments, so when ISIS gets a job in San Marino, Malory sends her two best agents. The pair test palace security for the wealthy microstate (or principality, depending on one's view). When mudak, Len Trexler, steals the San Marino contract for ODIN, Malory commits three phrasing errors in a row. Commence "Operation Rub Len Trexler's Big Fat Nose In It!" Days of Oktoberfest with gallons of schuetzie, Jagermeister, beer and absinthe cannot disguise a tiny champagne-colored thingamabob or labor issues at ISIS. Ill-equipped and stranded, Archer and Lana strike forth to make the diamond hot, but it is all bread and roses, entitlement crap and collective bargaining at ISIS. With a finite quantity of gin and Archer's fate in the hands of the drones, will Malory finally crumble to Labor? It may be all muffins and denial, but can you really put a price on good...personnel?
Episode 9
Job Offer
Thu, Mar 11, 201022 mins
On mission in Paris, Archer's situational awareness and amazing driving skills are enough to locate enemy agent Kasparov. The constant bickering between the ISIS Bendersons figuratively invites Barry Dylan to claim the capture and the bounty for ODIN. He tosses a business card to Lana; Archer grabs it and goes to work in Paris, bonding with mudak Len Trexler. Lana packs for her own Paris ODIN interview. An absinthe-sodden Malory plays with matches as clingy Cyril tags along with Lana. Barry finds Archer deep in HR matters and is happy when Trexler orders some housecleaning. Archer reeks; Lana makes decisions about jobs, Paris, black flags, curtsying and Archer. He and Lana find Cyril deep in the previous HR matter. (Allo!) Would flensed, flaming Woodhouse PJs be comfy? Always the sport, Archer offers Lana the chance for revenge HR. Lana goes ahead and pouts.
Episode 10
Dial M for Mother
Thu, Mar 18, 201022 mins
On the heels of Cyril's latest disgrace, Malory issues new ISIS policy, No Banging Co-Workers. "Come Monday, it will be alright..." but no one will come at ISIS. Archer is unconcerned with trivialities until he sees the latest from Frederick's of Latvia... and hears Nikolai Jakov address him as "son." Malory always told Archer his father was Black Jack Archer, winner of the Navy Cross with military funeral and 21-gun salute. Nikolai is fuming: he cannot believe Malory slept with that mudak Trexler and Gene Krupa...or was it Buddy Rich? ("The one with the teeth") Nikolai calls his Huns and Lana hatches her own capitalist revenge plot: the ball-slappy sex way. The last thing Archer needs is another hole in his head ...or a loud rendition of "Mulatto Butts". Take a number or a cleaver. Whether it is Ubil Mat or just a big jazzy blur, at least the old gal's still got it: all 6 right in the 10 ring. What is a 'Jane Hathaway'? Does Brett have the right stuff? And, what about Client #37? Girl, please.
