Hoarders Hoarders

Only people dead inside could watch Hoarders and simply say, "they crazy!" Sure, there's insanity on parade, but by the end of most episodes, after all the human excrement has been shoveled away, there's usually nothing left but sympathy. For the sufferers. For their families. And especially for the poor Joes brought in to "extreme clean" these dens of disgusting.

But last night's season finale pretty much replaced all of that empathy with unshakable shock. In an epic outing of icky proportions, we met a man who hoarded live rats — more than 1,000 of them! — to make up for the pain of losing his wife. Sorry, that's not sad, that's something out of a damn horror movie. It's also apparently unsafe for the rats. Now, do you understand how twisted a sitch has to be to make rodents the underdogs?! And we're not talking Ratatouille-caliber cuties. These were like those hantavirus specials roaming New York. Yet there we were, feeling bad for the vermin who deserved better than the tragic conditions of their stanky captivity.

Fittingly, the other compulsive collector profiled had a houseful of cats, as well as heaping piles of their noxious feces. But since this isn't Fox in the mid-90s, no one thought to have the two subjects move in together for When Hoarded Pets Attack and be done with it all. Instead, the kitty-centric segments provided a much-needed break from the rampaging vermin, while still being just as jarring. How someone can live in what has basically become a bi-level litter box is just beyond, you know? Our only hope is that they'll do a follow-up on the feline addict between now and next season, because honestly, we're kind of crazy about this show and need to see what happened after she shut down the cleanup before it even started.

Are you compelled to watch Hoarders? Or is it too much to take?

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