Oh my God, Glee kids had sex! And oh my God... big whup.
Yeah, yeah, we know all about the parents groups who were up in arms over last night's sexpisode, which saw Finchel and Klaine finally cashing in their V-cards. Such silliness! It was just 30-year-olds playing teenagers, faking what real teenagers do — juxtaposed, by the way, with their performance of West Side Story, a tale that is also about teenagers doing what teenagers do — without the racism and dancing and knife fights, of course. Teens have sex. It happens, folks. At least the Glee teens had the class to knock boots in the kind of softly lit, gauzy montages usually reserved for Lifetime movies.
And, oh yeah, where were these "advocates" with their pitchforks and pursed lips when 90210's pilot featured Ethan getting orally pleasured in the opening scene? Or when The Vampire Diaries' Caroline and Tyler had their fleshy, vamp-wolf mating session? Those moments were far more carnal and way less controversial, so one has to wonder if the uproar isn't over the fact that the kids do it these days, but which kids are doing it. Bet ya' dollars to donuts nobody would have raged about "the message being sent to our young" if the episode was solely about Finn and Rachel's first time. But throw in some action between two guys who love each other, took their time and acted responsibly and suddenly, boom go the puritans! It's the general rule of TV: If you don't like it (and you're not a TV critic), you don't have to watch it. Lawd knows we looked away when the dorksplosion that is The Warblers showed up for their single-most annoying performance to date.
Honestly, we hope this trumped-up scandal did more to draw eyes to the episode than to scare people away. Warblers mess aside, the hour was not only one of the season's best-directed and -scripted, it was inclusive, sensitive and featured stellar performances. Naya Rivera as Anita in West Side completes us. And Cory Monteith's football-recruitment meltdown was a heartbreaking callback to Finn's emotional frailty from Season 1's pregnancy reveal. Also, let's remember that this is sweeps. What else can a show about a pack of high-school virgins do in its third year? At least we weren't subjected to Will rapping or more of Sue's "abusing students is fun" antics. Two brief and completely clothed scenes that merely implied that sexing was gonna happen are nothing compared to those affronts to good taste.
What did you think of Glee's "First Time"? An abomination in the eyes of the television gods? Or a sweet, well-handled hour?