Even in the heat of August, there's still some trash that just smells like roses.
Oh come on, you know you love it. Ever since ABC announced that it was bringing back last summer's Bachelor Pad, fans of the dating-and-mating series have been salivating over the drama being drummed up for round 2. After all, just the reunion of notorious exes (and famewhores) Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi was enough of a reason to toss aside your rational thought and take a peek. Would she cry? Yes. Would he try to excuse his hateful behavior during their televised break-up? Over and over. Would the rest of the house be able to compare? You betcha.
Clearly, the producers realized that Pad needs more than just the mess that was (and still is) these two, so they went and found 16 others to throw into the mix, including Vienna's current beau, Kasey — he of the Schmoo voice and hideous wrist tattoo from Ali's season; his former foe Justin, the wrestler also known as Rated R; swimsuit nitwit Gia, who thinks the Trojan Horse was a "giant elephant"; Brad Womack's lap-dancing, crazy-eyed suitor Michelle Money; some haggard princess from the royal snooze season; and Ashley Hebert's recent toss-offs Ames, Blake and William. Add a few random franchise faces, several ill-advised alliances, lots of skin and very little intelligence and, folks, we have a hormonal hot-tub horror that is gonna be a joy to behold! How host Chris Harrison can handle this crew and keep them from tearing one another apart once the competition heats up is beyond us. Honestly, we kind of fear for his life.
So, now that we have come clean with our secret shame, it's time for you to pipe up. Did you check-in to Bachelor Pad? What did you think of the first two eliminees? Or do you think the whole place should be condemned?