Tenley Molzhan Tenley Molzhan

Oh my god, did you hear what Tenley said about Elizabeth? She like, totally, called her out for doing "it" with Kovacs in the shower. I know, right?!

Wow, what a crowd of overgrown high schoolers. Using language like "the outsiders," "the cool kids" and the ever popular "clique," the remaining Bachelor Pad dwellers devolved into vicious, unruly teens last night as they jockeyed for social supremacy within the house. It was like that Wild Kingdom scene in Mean Girls, only with giant fake breasts, oddly hairless, overworked torsos and Chris Harrison as the befuddled principal. And the alliances? So confusing! ABC should be providing us with a scorecard to keep track of who's screwing—and screwing over—whom around here. Jessie S. is hot tub smooth-talking David. Natalie is lying about her hookups to tattooed Jesse B. Recovering pushover Gia is bullying everyone. And nobody is to be trusted.

There isn't even honor among the genders. Look at how quickly Nikki broke ranks with her ya-ya sisterhood to send Craig M. home and spare Kiptyn. If this really was high school, there would so be a girl fight in the parking lot after seventh period, you know? The guys weren't much better, but at least the brawn trust was able to figure out that Jessie S. needed to go. Now if only the fellas could sway the ladies into ousting Jonathan. Maybe they can all pass notes to each other during their next challenge.

What do you think of the Pad people's juvenile offenses?

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