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How Twin Peaks Reminds Us That the World Is Filled with Very, Very Bad People

We're starting to get the impression that this world is not a great place

Price Peterson

Much as in real life, the world of Twin Peaks includes many wonderful people sharing space with many terrible people. If we ever make the mistake of thinking this show is cozy, friendly, or pleasant, it constantly reminds us that the darkest hearts live in the brightest places. Earlier this season we saw New York, South Dakota, and Las Vegas nearly overrun with low-lives and literal ghouls, while perhaps getting the sense that Twin Peaks had entered the 21st century with its kindness intact. Well, no, as it turns out, some of this show's most loathsome characters call this town home, and the corrosive effects of drugs and crime continue to eat away at the community's virtue murder by murder. In other words, the pie might be good, but the rest of the fruit is rotten. Let's talk about "Part 10"!


We began on a seemingly beautiful day, where Twin Peaks' best-known giggling pie enthusiast was attempting to enjoy a nice day of not getting brutally murdered by the town scumbag.


The truly despicable Richard Horne (Eamon Farren) was still trying to cover up his booboo (murdering a child with his car) and had now come after this lady, who, if you'll recall, witnessed the accident after giggling her way through an all-pie breakfast at the Double R. Here, she taunted Richard with the facts: She knew he'd hit that child, and she had already told the cops! Unfortunately, she revealed that she'd merely sent a letter via what the teens call "snail mail," thus giving Richard the idea to murder her and intercept the letter. Poor pie lady!


Pie lady did not deserve this. She also did not deserve to have her trailer exploded by a gas leak, but seeing as Richard left every window open, there is a very good chance it did not explode. Fingers crossed?


Over at the Fat Trout Trailer Park, Carl (Harry Dean Stanton) was busting out some mega riffs on his axe when a local couple began throwing coffee mugs through their windows and shouting a ton.


It was Shelley's daughter (Amanda Seyfried) and her loathsome boyfriend (Caleb Landry Jones) having some kind of drug withdrawal-fueled incident? Guys, I don't know about the drugs in this town, but I think they're real bad. Don't do drugs, especially not the ones in Twin Peaks, Washington.


Well, it wasn't like like things in Vegas were much cheerier. What started as an ordinarily Lynchian domestic scene -- a pink showgirl spending time with her mob boss beau -- devolved into an Itchy and Scratchy interlude when she attempted to swat a fly off the man's face using a remote control! She obviously disfigured him on impact, and then screamed in his face with remorse when he began spurting blood. The entire scene was wild and hilarious. Candie, what have you done??


Elsewhere, Doug-E (Kyle MacLachlan) removed his shirt at a doctor's appointment and everyone in the vicinity became MEGA-horny. That included Janey-E (Naomi Watts) and even the doctor himself, who marveled at Doug-E's suddenly-younger-by-25-years physique.


That night, Janey-E couldn't help but straight-up seduce her addle-brained husband, who was simply trying to enjoy his piece of cake.


But Janey-E's libido had spoken: Soon they were doing a weird nude gymnastics routine and it was wild enough to wake Sonny Jim from a dead sleep!


Doug-E and Janey-E's lovemaking was truly an erotic and sensual moment for all involved.


As Doug-E, Cooper might not be fully "with it," but he's slowly re-learning all the more fun aspects of being alive. Think of this plotline as David Lynch's riff on the coming-of-age comedy. But with, like, atomic evil and demon vomit. Universal stuff, really.


Dr. Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) was still running his hit (?) vlog series wherein he rants at the camera about the government and also sells golden shovels just for the symbolism. To you and me he appears to be a crank, a real yahoo, but it's clear he's definitely generating a passionate following. This lady for example:


Did you know that Nadine (Wendy Robie) now owns and operates a silent-running drapes business now? There is apparently much demand for silent-running drapes in the Pacific Northwest, and she's raking in enough profit to afford these fancy shakes she's always sipping. Great job, Nadine. Next stop, Shark Tank.


Richard Horne seemed pretty confident he'd intercept that incriminating letter the pie lady had mailed to the Sheriff, and here was why: He had a corrupt cop in his back pocket! Yes, that truly gross deputy we've been hating since Week 1 was as corrupt as we'd suspected, and he pocketed the letter before Lucy could find it. But did Lucy see him steal it? Will she bring this dude down? Stay tuned, everybody.


First of all, look at this "toy" that Johnny Horne owns. It's a real beauty and clearly a lot of fun, especially in how it yells the same phrase over and over. Johnny Horne was now tied to a chair for his own safety, which made it all the more upsetting when Richard Horne busted in and began CHOKING Johnny's mother -- his own grandmother!


I think this proves that Richard Horne is indeed Audrey's son, and furthermore he's very likely the offspring of Evil Cooper, originating from that night Evil Cooper paid a comatose Audrey a visit upon leaving the Black Lodge. That particular chain of events is too troubling to even think about, and now here we are 25 years later and Richard's strangling his own grandmother, stealing her jewels, and calling her the C-word for good measure. Friends, I've thought about it, and I've determined that Richard Horne is not a good person! I'll explain later.


Meanwhile it appears that several factions would like very much for Doug-E to be dead. In this case, Doug-E's coworker (Tom Sizemore) was tasked with lying to the goons at the local casino and convincing them that Doug-E was trying to cheat them out of an insurance settlement? Look, it doesn't matter, the point is, the goons and their pink showgirls are now after Doug-E. Assuming he can pull himself away from all the coffee and sex, he should probably hightail it out of this city.


Somewhere in South Dakota, Gordon (David Lynch) was interrupted during his private doodle moment by a knock at the door. And if you guessed that knock was from the GHOST OF LAURA PALMER (Cheryl Lee), you're definitely smarter than I am.


Well, it was also Albert (Miguel Ferrer), returning from his date with Jane Adams. But the flashes of a screaming Laura Palmer were definitely a lot for Gordon to take in. What did it mean? Anyway, Albert informed Gordon that Diane (Laura Dern) was most likely communicating directly with Evil Cooper, and perhaps even working with him! That's when Agent Tammy (Chrysta Bell) arrived to inform them that Evil Cooper had been involved in the murders of those two naked people in New York who'd had their heads chewed off by BOB's mom. See, it's all coming together, folks. How, I don't know. But it is! I think?


We concluded with a message from the Log Lady herself (the late Catherine Coulson) warning Hawk that Laura Palmer "is the one." That's two eerie Laura Palmer moments in one episode. In my opinion Laura Palmer is important to this story!


Finally we were then treated to a performance by Rebekah Del Rio, singing a song co-written by David Lynch. I think it goes without saying that it was extremely lovely. Also, check out that dress! Very on brand.

"Part 10" moved the story forward incrementally, but was entertaining all the way through. Again, we're faced with a maddening conundrum: As the storylines tighten and come together, do we dare theorize, draw conclusions, or ask questions of this show? Or is that a foolhardy task at any stage? Either way, Twin Peaks continues to paint a compelling portrait of ordinary American life and the extraordinary darkness underneath it all. Take that, grandma.

Twin Peaks airs Sundays at 9/8c on Showtime.

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