With his slimming leather jacket and uncomfortably handsome good looks, Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) has been the villain we hate to love and love to hate ever since he made his big debut on The Walking Dead.
Sure, he viciously murdered several of our favorite characters, and he made Carl (Chandler Riggs) both cry and sing in the span of five minutes (the jury's still out on which was more brutal), but what can we say? Negan's got style — and a way with words, to boot. The big baddie of Season 7 has had some of the most memorable lines in the entire history of the show, and no matter what happens to him when the season finale airs on Sunday, we're going to be quoting his most unique turns of phrase long after Rick (Andrew Lincoln) and the gang have (hopefully) sent him packing.
1. Is that you, Rick? Underneath all that man bush?
If I had a dollar for every time I asked that exact question during Season 5, I could buy a sailboat.
2. Holy crap! You are creepy as s**t, sneaking up on me wearing that collar with that freaky ass smile!
Harsh words for Father Gabriel here — although, in Negan's defense, this is really one of those times when he just had the nerve to say what everyone else was thinking.
3. Well, pardon me young man, excuse the s**t out of my goddamn French, but did you just threaten me?
God, that's just adorable. If Negan makes it through the Season 7 finale, please nobody ever explain to him how the whole "pardon my French" thing is actually supposed to work.
4. Sorry kid, this is going to be as cold as a warlock's ballsack.
You've gotta hand it to Negan: even when he's about to force your dad to cut your arm off, he's not above apologizing for the minor discomforts involved. And Carl didn't even say thank you! What a little snot.
5. It's gonna be pee-pee pants city here real soon.
Fun fact: Pee Pee Pants City is the original habitat of the rare creature known as the cold-sacked warlock.
6. Without Fat Joey, Skinny Joey is just — [sigh] — Joey. So it's a goddamn tragedy. So, let's have a moment of silence.
Wow. WOW. What a eulogy! Hey, Rick, favor to ask: would you mind not killing Negan when you catch him? I want to see if he's free to do a reading at my grandmother's funeral.
7. You've got some beach ball-sized lady nuts, and I wanna harness the heat coming off 'em!
Here it is: your moment of zen. Of all the colorful Neganisms to come out of our beloved villain's mouth, this one both wins the day and inspires so many, many questions. What does it actually mean to harness the heat coming off someone's nuts, figurative or otherwise? Has Eugene, in his brief tenure at the Sanctuary, invented a new form of scrotal alchemy? Is the harness literal, or metaphorical? Do all the local nuts go through this process, or only the ladies', and then only if they're larger than average? And why is Negan so obsessed with balls and sacks and so on in the first place?
We'll just have wait until April 2 for our burning curiosity to be satisfied... or not.
The Walking Dead finale airs Sunday at 9/8c on AMC.