For nearly two whole seasons, there's been one question weighing on the minds of The Leftovers fans everywhere. No, it's not where those people who departed went or why the departure happened. This is bigger than that. This is what we in the biz call a game-changing mystery - life-changing even. Because maybe, just maybe, once we answer this question everything else will simply fall into place.
Since Mystery Show remains on hiatus, we have no other recourse but to take this investigation to the streets. So, my dear people, we come to you on bended knee with one simple question: Why is Justin Theroux so sweaty on The Leftovers?
Sure, sometimes it's nothing more than a light sheen.
A dewy glisten making his skin glow like the Adonis he is.
Then there are times when his pores let loose as though they're trying to recreate the Genesis flood.
We're talking Britney in "I'm a Slave 4 U"-level sweaty.
He looks glistening and orange, like a Thanksgiving turkey.
Or an over-saturated sponge.
His glands are working harder than Scientology's marketing department.
If you licked him, your heart would probably burst from a sodium overdose.
You know how the old saying goes, "men perspire and ladies glisten." Well, Justin Theroux sweats as though he's trying to turn Jarden, Texas, into Waterworld.
So what is Damon Lindelof trying to tell us by turning Jennifer Aniston's husband into a six-foot-tall super soaker?
Because there is no way Justin Theroux is naturally this sweaty.
And if he is, he should probably go see a doctor ASAP.
Does his character have a lot of nightmares? Is that why he wakes up with beads of sweat dripping down his pecs?
Not that we're complaining, exactly.
Though there are definitely times when Theroux's clammy disposition can be a bit distracting. (Especially since no one else seems to be suffering from the heat like he is.)
Because instead of thinking about the show, we're wondering why he went from a completely normal human being in one scene to a sweat-drenched water monster in the next.
But no matter the reason, we should all be grateful that Justin Theroux's overactive glands give him more reasons to wear these sweatpants.