This week's The Bachelor started with Colton Underwood still reeling from three eliminated ladies warning him about someone or some people not being ready to get married. Who is it? Is she gonna be the one to make him jump the fence? Read on.

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Colton and the girls returned stateside for a visit to Colton's hometown of Denver, where he met up with former Bachelor Ben Higgins for advice. Aw, Ben is so genuinely nice and emotionally intelligent. Unlike Colton, whose niceness is conditional.

Tayshia got the first 1-on-1, and she vowed to tell Colton what she thinks about the girl or girls who might not be ready for him. Colton told her that he knew the three bomb-throwers weren't talking about her, which was sweet. And then he started pumping her for information. They were in a mall or something and the background noise was really loud, so I think she said Cassie and Caelynn had been talking about being the Bachelorette after this and weren't interested in being with Colton. Aw, he really likes Cassie! Colton was very upset. During an ITM he was hunched over as if his stomach hurt. I don't know, man. I'm not calling Tayshia a liar, but they film everything that happens. Show us the tapes of Cassie and Caelynn making these comments!

During the dinner portion of their date, which allegedly took place in Colton's very nice apartment, Colton and Tayshia talked about her family and whether they'd be ready to meet him. She said her dad is very protective of her and may be apprehensive, but Colton is gonna have to win him over, because he needs a father's blessing to propose. Tayshia got the rose, so Colton will have the opportunity to show Tayshia's dad his sterling personality. Then she put on his old football jersey and they made out. He said he was falling in love with her.

Caelynn had the next date, which meant there was going to be a difficult conversation. They went snowboarding, but we quickly skipped over that and went straight to the conversation about what Tayshia said. Caelynn denied it, saying she's not here to be the Bachelorette and sees a future with him. "How the f--- would Tayshia know if I'm ready or not?" Caelynn said in an ITM. She said "f--- her" and called her a "stupid bitch." There's that other side of her Hannah B. mentioned! Colton should have asked her who she thought Katie and the other girls were talking about.

During dinner, Colton was very upset. He started crying during his ITM. She reiterated that she was here for him. She said she's falling in love with him. Very different tone than she had when she was talking about Tayshia. She got the rose. You could tell Colton was stressed because he his mic was shorting again because he was so sweaty. (Or maybe his jacket was rubbing on the mic, I'm not sure.) Then they went to Red Rocks Amphitheater and got privately serenaded by a twangy Chainsmokers-looking dude.

Caelynn told Cassie about what happened on her date — which concerned Cassie, because what are they going to say about here? — and then went to confront Tayshia. She was like "wtf, I thought we were friends, why are you snitching?" and Tayshia was like "A) we all agreed it was you and Cassie he should be concerned about B) he asked me and C) you would have done the same."

Colton took Hannah B. to meet his family. His dad was wearing a weird shirt. It was a knit t-shirt with a seam down the middle and very prominent hems and it really accentuated his chest. It was also very long, almost to his knees. Very L.A. t-shirt. Colton's dad was VERY good at talking in soundbites. Too good. I'm suspicious.

Hannah B. and Colton had dinner in an airplane hangar. Classic Bachelor move. Hannah said she was falling in love with him still and he was like "mmmm idk." He said he wasn't there with her. Hannah B. really faded into the background after the early season drama, so I didn't feel much about Hannah getting sent home. My thought watching this was "they better not make a cliffhanger out of the fence jump." I NEEDN'T HAVE WORRIED.

Then it was time for the group date, which all the girls knew was going to be rough. Four girls, two roses. No fun. They took a choo-choo train out over a bridge, and Colton threw the two girls who didn't get roses off the bridge like Liam Neeson in The Ballad of Buster Scruggs. Heather threw a curveball and said she knew she wasn't ready and eliminated herself. Colton was like "yeah." It was about a minute of screen time. My head was spinning. The other girls on the date didn't even seem to care that much, because it was pretty obvious that Heather was going home on this date. The train took her away.

Colton and Cassie went off on their own so Colton could get to the bottom of the rumors about her. Cassie said she couldn't explain anything if it wasn't true. From the comfort of my couch, she seemed more emotionally genuine than Caelynn. Then Kirpa went to him and told him what she saw Caelynn and Cassie do with her own two eyes: they got defensive and panicky when Colton gave his speech in Vietnam after Katie left. Cassie was really mad when Kirpa came back, yelling at her about using her time with Colton to talk bad about her. It got pretty heated. Then Colton came over and said he wasn't ready to give out roses yet. Hannah G. was just sitting there like "just give me one already so I can go inside. I don't need this."

During dinner, Colton sat at the other end of a long table from the other three girls. It looked very dastardly. He pulled Hannah aside and gave her a rose off-camera. We heard Hannah laughing, probably because Colton was saying "I know you don't want to be on this horrible date so you can back to the hotel. You are spared." But then, TWIST. Caelynn crashed the date and came to talk to Colton about something. She wanted him to know the truth. There was a time jump, and we didn't see what Caelynn said, we just saw her leave, crying, and then Colton came downstairs and gave Cassie the rose.

So another week with no fence jump. And we don't know what Caelynn said. Why is The Bachelor getting all experimental with the editing all of a sudden? That time-skip was like something out of Breaking Bad. Next week, I guess?

The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC. Episodes are available to stream on Hulu.