From moment one, Episode 4 of The Bachelor jumped right back into the Caelynn-Hannah B. drama. Chris Harrison came into the living room and called Hannah "Caelynn," demonstrating that even the people making the show don't even really care that much about the beauty queen drama. It's just happening, you know? Then he told them they were going to Singapore, which prompted a cheer that could probably be heard in Singapore, a place Hannah G. admitted she would not be able to locate on a map. So it was a very sincere cheer, I'm sure. Much higher travel budget this season, though. They didn't even leave California in Week 4 last year (they went to South Lake Tahoe).
If you don't stand on the balcony and scream in unison the name of the city you're in, did you even travel? #thebachelor— Mackenzie Shuker (@maydaymackenzie) January 29, 2019
Then we got more Colton Cam — where Colton talks directly into the camera like a video diary — which didn't appear in Episode 3. It's being used sparingly, I guess, when it shouldn't be used at all. He went on a 1-on-1 with Tayshia, who hasn't made much of an impression. Kinda wild that it's Week 4 and he hasn't gone on 1-on-1s with Hannah G., Cassie or Katie, the women he seems to actually like. They went bungee jumping, which maybe means he actually does like her? Rachel went bungee jumping with Bryan, her eventual fiancé. It looked very scary. Their date seemed pretty good. They made out in the ocean and seemed to be comfortable with each other.
During the dinner portion of their date, Tayshia opened up and got vulnz with Colton. She told him she's recently divorced. She married her first boyfriend because she's a devout Christian. Going on The Bachelor is an intense way of getting over it, but everyone has their own way of coping with things, I guess. Some women dye their hair. Some get a tattoo. Some go on TV to try to date a guy who washed out of the NFL.
Before the group date, the date card was written in a way to make us think that Hannah B. and Caeylnn were about to have a 2-on-1 before it became clear that Caelynn was getting the second 1-on-1. Which told us that there's at least another week until that inevitable 2-on-1 happens.
Can we hurry this 2 on 1 already? I'm over the Hannah Caelynn drama. #TheBachelor— BachStreetBach (@BachStreetBach) January 29, 2019
There were 13 women on this 2-on-1, which is a lot! And Demi was bogarting all the attention, jumping on Colton's back and stuff. Then they got to a leech therapy place, where leeches suck the blood outta you for detoxifying fun. Hannah B. felt like Colton was avoiding her and she started to lose her mind. Then they ate frog and eel and pig feet. Between this and the bungee jumping, this was a Fear Factor-ass episode of The Bachelor.
Colton making Hannah B eat a goddamn fish eyeball just to get his attention is peak Bachelor tbh #TheBachelor— Alyssa Orbaczewski (@alyssaaaohhh) January 29, 2019
During the cocktail party portion, Hannah B. quickly pulled Colton aside and confronted him about him maybe not trusting her. He told her that today he felt like he got his Hannah back. They made out, and she felt better. In an ITM, she said she felt like she could fall in love with him. I don't think she'll get the chance.
He had a moment with his past-life sister Cassie. He likes Cassie. He can joke around with Cassie, which he doesn't seem to able to do with other girls. If Hannah B. had seen him with Cassie, she would have spiraled all over again.
Colton's hand placement on Cassie is GOALS #TheBachelor— Dana Lauren (@drazelilana) January 29, 2019
Demi, sensing that she wasn't going to get a 1-on-1, opened up about her mom in federal prison. She was released this week! Even though she's done some questionable stuff, Demi loves her unconditionally. It was so hot that Colton's sweat shorted his mic while he was talking to her.
Instead of going and talking to Colton, Courtney just sat there and sulked about not talking to Colton. I guess she was waiting for him to come talk to her? But there are 13 girls on this date. You gotta be proactive, Courtney! Demi went twice before Courtney went once, and this annoyed Courtney. Courtney went and confronted Demi while Colton was on a bathroom break or something. Courtney didn't have a leg to stand on here because the tape showed Demi encouraging Courtney to talk to him and then not doing it. Then Courtney got really condescending about Demi's age and lack of respect for the other girls. It was truly pretty nuts. Demi got the group date rose.
Caelynn went on her 1-on-1 with Colton, and Hannah B. was salty. Colton told Caelynn that when he splurges, he has to make sure he's doing it on someone worthwhile, as if he were the one paying for it. Then they sent her back to the hotel to show off her loot to the all the other girls but mostly Hannah. This show is trying to break her. The other girls didn't like it, either. Cassie cried.
"What can we do to start more drama?.. a shopping trip for one person!"- the producers at ABC #thebachelor— Dan DePasquale (@Squale_Goals) January 29, 2019
During the evening portion of the date, Caelynn didn't talk about Hannah B. at all. She told Colton about being drugged and sexually assaulted by multiple men at a party when she was in college. The police and the hospital wouldn't help her. One of the perpetrators was expelled, but the other three got away with it. It was horrible. Caelynn remained poised throughout it all. Talking so openly about something so traumatic that sadly so many women go through on this show was powerful. It was maybe the most responsible handling of a heavy subject the show has ever done, and that was all thinks to Caelynn, and a little bit to Colton. "I want you to know, with me, you're safe," he told her. He talked about how he was in a relationship with someone who was sexually abused (gymnast and activist Aly Raisman, who helped stop serial predator and National Team doctor Larry Nassar) and how hard it was to see her pain. And then he talked about his virginity again, in the context of his relationship with his previous girlfriend, and said it was complicated. But mostly he just listened, which is the right thing to do.
Huge huge HUGE props to @BachelorABC and @ABCNetwork for airing that whole conversation with no editing and no music.— bradley. (@bradleyjamess) January 29, 2019
I think that Caeylnn's story is going to help a lot of young women through similar situations. Thank you @caelynnmk for sharing your story. #TheBachelor
Hannah G. went to Colton's room during the rose ceremony cocktail party, and she told him she was nervous about opening up, and he was basically like "that's fine, you're so pretty," and they made out heavy.
Hannah B. and Caelynn finally went and talked to each other about their bad blood. "Why not be supportive of one another?" Caelynn said. They apologized to each other, and it seemed OK, like they were going to move on. They won't be friends, but they don't have to be enemies, either. I hope that's the twist ending to the conflict, because that's a much nicer ending than a brutal 2-on-1.
Are we gonna put the pageant queen drama behind us now? Please? #TheBachelor— Tracy Hickson (@djtino224) January 29, 2019
Then the show took a turn back to Courtney and Demi drama. Courtney was taking shots at Demi for no reason. It was weird. Demi preemptively went and talked to Colton and called Courtney "the cancer of the house," which is brutal. But Courtney shouldn't have let her do that! Why did Courtney not talk to Colton???? She went and interrupted Demi, and Colton told her that Demi called her "the cancer of the house," which was messy on Colton's part. Courtney told Colton that Demi says she's just "playing the game" for TV. Then she went back and told the other girls what Demi said, and Demi owned it, but the other girls were like, "Jesus, Demi." Kirpa was trying not to laugh while Demi and Courtney were going at each other. That reaction gif hasn't made its way online yet, but you can be sure I'll be using it in the future.
Then there was another twist! During the rose ceremony, Colton eliminated Demi's two nemeses, Tracy and Courtney. Who is even left for Demi to have a 2-on-1 with? Who will be on the 2-on-1?
This was the best episode in the entire franchise since Arie's finale. It handled serious subject matter deftly, something The Bachelor almost never does, especially not in Arie's finale. Kudos and respect to Caelynn for sharing her story.
The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC. It's available to stream on Hulu.