Talk about your mixed blessings: Judges on The Swan elected not to send enlisted woman Kristy G. on to their ugly-duckling pageant because she was too pretty before they worked their magic on her! But the California girl remains determined to take her place in the spotlight — and preferably while wearing her undies! Here, she reveals to TV Guide Online her unique master plan.

TV Guide Online: So, how does it feel to know that you were too cute pre-surgery to earn a place in The Swan pageant?
Kristy G.:
Oh, I didn't need them to validate the progress that I had made. The only disappointment, if any, was that I wasn't going to get to win any cash or prizes. (Laughs) Honestly, I already feel like the swan. So I don't need [the pageant]. What I have is enough already.

TVGO: One of the first things you said in the recovery room was that you couldn't wait to put on a halter top, go-go boots and a canary-yellow miniskirt, and go clubbing. Have you?
(Laughs) No, and let me just say that I would never wear that. I don't know what I was thinking! The drugs were really good. I'm actually still working on some things in the program, so I haven't gotten to go out and celebrate the new me yet with my girlfriends and just let my hair down. But it gives me something to look forward to.

TVGO: During your psychotherapy sessions, some issues came up about your marriage that didn't seem like a makeover could resolve. How are things going now?
We're still working on things, you know? We've always had the chips stacked against us. We've never lived together — we were separated because we were both in the military in different branches [the Marines for him, the Army for her]. But we owe it to our daughter to give 100 percent and try to make things work. If we can't... you know... (Pauses) I mean, we're always going to love each other. Whether or not we are in love and remain married, we're still going to be the best of friends.

TVGO: Now that you're back at work, has it seemed like a waste to put all your newly acquired bodaciousness in one of those drab uniforms?
I'm actually out of the Army now. Shortly before I came here, I was finishing up my five-year contract, so I'm unemployed.

TVGO: No wonder you were so disappointed about the cash and prizes.
Yeah, but I'm hoping some doors will open for me. I'm going to give comedy a shot. I'd love to be on Saturday Night Live and grace the cover of a magazine like Maxim. I have a lot of big dreams.

TVGO: Mm-hmm. So, fast-forward 20 years: Suppose your daughter doesn't think she's pretty enough. What advice would you give her?
I would tell her that life is too short to live with anything you're not comfortable with and that only you can determine your beauty. Only you know how you feel. So I'd just support anything she wanted to do.

(A new episode of The Swan airs tonight at 9 pm/ET on Fox.)