If you don't worship at the altar of Shonda Rhimes, you've likely found yourself lost in a conversation more than once.
When did jam suddenly become so sexy? Is "bitch baby" what all the cool kids are saying these days? Why is the color of someone's hat so damn important?
Words that you thought you knew have suddenly seemed to take on different meaning. To help guide you through the complex lexicon of Shondaland, we created a glossary of the most important terms and phrases from Grey's Anatomy, Scandal and How to Get Away with Murder.
Dictionary: A license to kill
Shondictionary: a nickname given to surgeons who often kill their patients
"George is a total 007, but at least he didn't purposefully unplug a patient's LVAD."
bitch baby [idiom]
Dictionary: bitch [slang] — a malicious, unpleasant, selfish person, especially a woman; baby [noun] — an infant or very young child
Shondictionary: as described by Rhimes herself, self-pitying person or behavior
"Fitz was such a bitch baby when he told Olivia he was failing as a father, as a husband and as a man."
Command [proper noun]
the act of commanding or ordering
Shondictionary: head of clandestine black-ops organization B613; trained assassin must be experienced with torture techniques; penchant for aggressive, fearsome speechifying preferred
"Jake would've been a better Command if he were remotely threatening."
QUIZ: Grey's Anatomy or Florida news story?
dark and twisty [idiom]
Dictionary: dark [adjective] — having very little or no light; twisty [intransitive verb] — to follow a winding course
Shondictionary: used to describe a woman who is intensely pessimistic and often perceived as harsh or emotionally distant
"I don't know how Derek puts up with Meredith being so dark and twisty all the time."
earn me [idiom]
Dictionary: to receive me as return for effort and especially for work done or services rendered
Shondictionary: to demand your married lover respect you if he wants to be with you; the more feminist sister to "pick me"
"How does pulverizing her boyfriend count as Fitz earning Olivia?"
[in ancient Rome] a person, often a slave or captive, who was armed with a sword or other weapon and compelled to fight to the death in a public arena against another person or a wild animal, for the entertainment of the spectators
Shondictionary: well-dressed, fast-talking, scheming problem-solver more akin to a Roman emperor who believes to be fighting the good fight and helping the helpless (aka high-end clients); commonly used in idiom "gladiator in a suit"; gladiate [verb]; see also: white hat; not to be confused with "bitch"
"I didn't think Liv was much of a gladiator when she took off to the island with Jake; gladiators don't run away."
the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best
Shondictionary: possibility for you and your married lover to live happily ever after in Vermont making jam; see also: jam; can lead to phone sex
"Fitz would totally declare war on West Angola to save Liv since she told him there's hope."
it's handled [idiom]
to manage, deal with, or be responsible for
to cover up, spin, shut down and/or bury a problem (or "scandal") by any means necessary; usually requires quick thinking, manipulation, coercion and fiery speeches; can also apply to oneself if one were the "scandal"
"I really liked the way Liv handled those boy's blackmailing parents during Karen's Eiffel Tower fiasco."
Dictionary: the internal organs of an animal
Shondictionary: the unwavering determinate of truth that resides in the stomach of Olivia Pope
"Sometimes I think Olivia's gut is just hungry based on how poor her track record has become."
a preserve of whole fruit, slightly crushed, boiled with sugar
Shondictionary: what you make in your married lover's fantasy; preferably done in Vermont and when not in flagrante delicto
"Do you think Fitz will force Liv to give up wine and popcorn to make jam?"
Dictionary: used to indicate an inexpensive, convenient, or easy but usually low-quality or commercialized version of something specified <McBook>
Shondictionary: used to indicate an attractive, often bestubbled doctor; can also be used to turn any word into a personalized nickname or phrase.
"I really miss McSteamy and all his McSexcapades."
Dictionary: a human being
Shondictionary: a person with whom your relationship goes beyond that of a typical best friend, more of a platonic soul mate
"Being someone's person does not mean you can interrupt their showers."
pick me [idiom]
to choose me or select me from among a group
Shondictionary: to beg your married lover to leave his wife for you; the less feminist sister to "earn me."
"It was kind of pathetic the way Meredith pleaded Derek to pick her. But at least it worked out... kind of."
QUIZ: How well do you know Grey's Anatomy?
Dictionary: a small notepad with an adhesive strip on the back of each sheet that allows it to stick to smooth surfaces and be re-positioned with ease.
Shondictionary: a last-minute substitute for a legal marriage that represents love in the face of busy schedules
"It's cute that Derek and Meredith had a Post-It wedding and all, but do they realize that isn't legally binding"
shooting star [noun]
Dictionary: a visual meteor appearing as a temporary streak of light in the night sky
Shondictionary: a term used to describe an ambitious law student who flames out early
"I hope Michaela is the shooting star because she is honestly the worst."
the star that is the central body of the solar system, around which the planets revolve and from which they receive light and heat
Shondictionary: the truth; symbol of something real and tangible; commonly used in idiom "standing in the sun," meaning to live in the truth and to no longer pretend or hide in the shadows
"Fitz can't stand in the sun with Olivia if he keeps talking about Vermont."
white hat [noun]
a virtuous hero, especially in a cowboy movie; good guy
Shondictionary: symbol for goodness and doing what's right despite very gray morals and actions; worn metaphorically, fashionably and ironically; see also: gladiator
"How can anyone who committed election fraud think they're wearing a white hat?"
Scandal Supercut! Relive every awesome drunk Mellie moment: