" Someone out there may be wondering why my Today's News blog hasn't come within a country mile of this Donald Trump/ Vince McMahon/"Who will shave their head?" nonsense. I think the last word of the previous sentence says it all.

" Speaking of the Donald.... I get in the mail the other day a (seemingly) hand-addressed invitation with a Trump return address. " Finally," I thought for a moment. "My years of steadfastly standing by The Apprentice and Q&Aing the castoffs has not gone unnoticed. I'm off to a high-society soiree!" In actuality? Some Learning Annex nonsense. Grr.

" For, like, forever, DVR ads have steered clear of touting the fast-forward button, only publicizing Pause and Instant Replay. "Big Advertising must be breathing down their neck," I assumed. So how is Dish Network now getting away with ads flaunting "Skippy," the FF button that neuters "geckos, ducks and cavemen"?

" I know that "smiley" magazine covers sell best, but something isn't right with the March Marie Claire. I see the photo shoot going down like this:

Photographer's assistant: "Hey, Sandra, I'm ordering lunch. What can I get you?"
Sandra Oh: "Thanks! I'd like a chicken--" CLICK!