Press Tour Diary: NBC Day 1

I know NBC is in the ratings crapper, but that's no excuse for the sorry breakfast spread the Peacock had waiting for us this morning. They essentially threw a few croissants and pastries on a tray and called it a meal. No eggs. No Rice Krispies. No bagels. Pathetic! Good thing I had a stash of Balance Bars in my room.
EXECUTIVE SESSION
9:06 am: Kevin Reilly walks out on stage to what sounds like a porno soundtrack.
9:07 am: Reilly's self-deprecating jokes about NBC's misfortunes are diluted by the fact that he is reading his speech directly off a teleprompter in the back of the room.
9:08 am: Scoop: David Hasselhoff still has a job! A new cycle of America's Got Talent will return in January. Additionally, NBC is producing webisodes of Bill Lawrence's YouTube phenom Nobody's Watching with the intention of picking it up as a series later this season.
9:12 am: Scoop! NBC will air a Madonna concert special in November.
9:13 am: Scoop! Andre Braugher will do a six-episode arc on ER.
9:17 am: Reilly concedes that the Studio 60 hype was "overheating too early."
9:19 am: Reilly moved Studio 60 away from CSI and Grey's Anatomy on Thursday because it was a "war zone."
9:24 am: Reilly is asked about past regrets, but he's not going back to the Titanic. "I'm not being flip, but I am so anxious to put the past behind us," he hedges. "I really believe we have a schedule here that is resetting for the future. I would just like to talk about the future now."
9:28 am: Reilly says "the spirit is kicking in again [at NBC] and the hunger is there." Dude, the hunger is there because of that pitiful breakfast spread!
9:30 am: Reilly admits Martha's version of The Apprentice "might have put a little drag on" the franchise.
9:37 am: Luke Perry is out of work again - Reilly confirms that Windfall is done.
9:41 am: A reporter refers to NBC's ill-fated Surface as "the fish show." Sporadic giggling ensues.
9:44 am: Regarding E-Ring's cancellation, Reilly said he wrote personal apology letters to "the two people who were watching."
9:47 am: Reilly says he wakes up in the morning and reads e-mails from fans that start "Dear Moron...." Hey, I get e-mails like that, too!
9:49 am: On Law & Order's prognosis, "I think the mother ship is going to have a real nice comfortable spot on Friday night. I think it could live successfully there for several years to come."
9:50 am: Madonna's concert special will not air live, and several numbers will be cut. Lemme guess: The one with her on the cross is out.
9:57 am: Matt Roush asks Reilly why Scrubs is being held until mid-season again. "Frankly," he replies, "we had success last season holding Scrubs off."
9:59 am: Scoop! Reilly hints that Jay Leno will remain in business with NBC after he turns over the Tonight Show reins to Conan O'Brien in 2009.
10:45 am: Major scoop! Following the session, I cornered Reilly one-on-one and asked him whether "Live to Tell" - the song Madge performed on the cross - will make the cut. "That will probably be in the show," he revealed. "She felt strongly about it." Was it a deal-breaker? "I wouldn't put it in those terms, but she's really been very cooperative about selecting what would be in and what would be out, and she felt like that was a cornerstone of the show. We viewed it and, although Madonna is known for being provocative, we didn't see it as being ultimately inappropriate."
NBC NIGHTLY NEWS WITH BRIAN WILLIAMS PRESENTATION
11:07 am: First plug Williams gives for his Nightly News blog.
11:09 am: Second plug Williams gives for his Nightly News blog.
11:14 am: Lots of discussion about Armageddon in the Middle East.
11:18 am: Williams says calling him the most veteran of the current broadcast news anchors is like "calling the Empire State Building the tallest building in the New York skyline. It's factually true, but for all the wrong reasons." Wow, that's really good.
11:20 am: Update: we live in "dangerous times," Williams reveals.
11:21 am: Third plug Williams gives for his Nightly News blog.
11:24 am: Fourth plug Williams gives for his Nightly News blog.
11:31 am: Scoop! The world is coming to an end!
STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP PRESENTATION
11:50 am: Aaron Sorkin hasn't seen NBC's similarly themed 30 Rock yet, but his "idea is to take Tina [Fey]'s ideas and use twice as many words."
11:51 am: Sorkin has never seen Fear Factor or The Apprentice, but he thinks reality TV is like "bad crack in a schoolyard." The world-renowned crackhead then adds with a laugh, "Why did I use that word?" Cue big laughs.
11:57 am: Regarding all the hype surrounding the show, Sorkin says, "We kind of get maxed out on the pressure we put on ourselves."
11:58 am: How does Studio 60's leading man, Matthew Perry, feel playing what is basically a dramatized version of Sorkin? The world-renowned Vicodin junkie jokes, "I think it's mostly like bad Vicodin in the schoolyard." Cue big laughs.
12:09 pm: Amanda Peet is beautiful, but she's about as convincing as a cutthroat network president as Elisabeth Röhm was as a formidable ADA.
12:16 pm: Sorkin, quoting David Mamet, says, "Doing a television series is like running until you die."
12:17 pm: Sorkin takes issue with widespread reports that he always turned his scripts in late on The West Wing.
12:21 pm: On returning to TV, Perry explains, "I'm here mostly because of how good the script is, and because of how bad The Whole Nine Yards was." Cue big laughs.
12:28 pm: Perry refers to Friends as "that thing I did for the last 10 years." When did Friends become the new F-word?
LUNCH WITH MEGAN MULLALLY
12:30 pm: I love Megan Mullally, but I love Everwood more. It's Ferris-wheel time!
1:14 pm: OMG those crazy kids actually dropped a Ferris wheel in the middle of Burbank!
1:22 pm: I'm riding the Ferris wheel! Long live Everwood! (Photos to come!)
LAW & ORDER BRAND PRESENTATION
2:40 pm: Dick Wolf announces that a fourth Law & Order series will debut next month, and introduces a clip for the Sesame Street parody, Law & Order: Special Letters Unit.
2:41 pm: Wow, the Munch Muppet is a dead-ringer for Richard Belzer. Amazing.
2:43 pm: The clip ends and the Q&A, with Wolf and the new ladies of L&O, SVU's Connie Nielsen, the mothership's Alana De La Garza and CI's Julianne Nicholson, begins. Quick, someone call Law & Order a "franchise" and let's watch the veins in Dick's forehead pop out!
2:44 pm: Actually, Wolf wants to make an opening statement about the "strength of the brand" before he takes questions. He pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and the audience lets out a collective groan. It's statistics time!
2:45 pm: I'm not really paying attention to any of this, but I recorded Wolf's remarks if you want to hear them for yourself. Just turn the volume up on your computer and click here.
2:46 pm: "I guess the message is," he concludes, "we're still here!"
2:50 pm: A critic asks Connie Nielsen why she left such a busy movie career behind to briefly replace new mum Mariska Hargitay on SVU. Someone needs to remind this guy that Gladiator came out six years ago.
2:51 pm: Unlike everyone else on the planet, Wolf declares that he's a fan of the much-maligned new Emmy rules. "I think [the fact] that Chris Meloni finally got recognized is the proof in the pudding," he says.
2:55 pm: Julianne Nicholson reveals that two of her Conviction producers have moved over to CI with her, giving everyone in the room two more reasons not to watch the show.
2:57 pm: Wolf says the odds of Nielsen returning to SVU at some point in the future are "unlikely given her feature schedule." And I repeat, "What feature schedule?!?!?!?!"
2:58 pm: Wolf shoots down rumors that Sam Waterston will be the next cast member to leave the L&O universe. "Sam is back for all 22 episodes this year."
2:59 pm: Wolf claims Annie Parisse asked to leave the show. Anyone got a spare lie detector I can borrow?
3:04 pm: Regarding the three Criminal Intent exits, Wolf says Courtney Vance's contract was up, Jamey Sheridan wanted to try new things and Annabelle Sciorra's departure was "mutual." Read between the lines on that last one, kids.
AMERICA'S GOT TALENT PRESENTATION
3:18 pm: The Hoff's in the house!
3:21 pm: Wow, Brandy's got legs for days.
3:26 pm: Reege mentions in passing that last September he inked a new Live contract that calls for him to only work four days a week. "I don't mean to be breaking any news here," Reege says, "but I haven't been on but four days a week since last September." How the hell was that kept quiet?
3:36 pm: The Hoff says he's focusing most of his time and energy on developing David Hasselhoff: The Musical. I think he's joking, but Brandy's the only one laughing.
3:42 pm: I scan the room and realize that no one is paying attention to this session. There are at least six reporters reading today's paper, a few others are flipping through NBC's binder, a woman behind me is playing with her name tag, and it looks like someone in the back of the room is shooting up under the table.
3:42 pm: Update: David Hasselhoff was not joking about David Hasselhoff: The Musical.
TWENTY GOOD YEARS PRESENTATION
4:04 pm: Call it "Golden Guys," starring John Lithgow and Jeffrey Tambor. Or just call it what I did after watching the pilot: "Twenty-Two Unfunny Minutes."
4:06 pm: Jeffrey Tambor has pulled off the incredible feat of going from the best comedy on network TV to the worst - all in the same year. That must be some kind of record.
4:14 pm: Executive producer Tom Werner showed the pilot to his teenage son and he loved it. So that's the audience for this show.
4:19 pm: I think John Lithgow just said this show was "wonderfully written." Now there's a statement that demands a follow-up joke about crack.
4:29 pm: An NBC publicist interrupts the session with eight of the most beautiful words I have ever heard: "That's all the time we have for today."
Coming up tomorrow: NBC Day 2, including sessions for Heroes, 30 Rock and Friday Night Lights. And no, I haven't forgotten about the scoop I promised you from my Grey's Anatomy and Shield set visits on Thursday. It's coming - I promise.