Most Awkward Host Introduction: Ouch. Anne Hathaway and James Franco's requisite montage of fake clips from the Best-Picture nominees fell flat, but at least we got a small giggle from seeing Franco in a white, full-body leotard for their Black Swan spoof. Can we get him and Justin Timberlake doing "Single Ladies"?
Best Grandmother: James Franco and Anne Hathaway gamely poked fun at themselves as first-time young hosts. (Hathaway: "You look very appealing to the younger demographic as well.") But it was Franco's grandmother who showed that age doesn't matter when it comes to laughs when she enthusiastically announced, "I just saw Marky Mark!" Take that, whippersnappers.
Best Stand-Up: Three-time Oscar nominee Kirk Douglas, 94, looked at Anne Hathaway and exclaimed: "She's gorgeous!" He added: "Where were you when I was making pictures?" He then kept the Supporting Actress nominees holding their breath with many deliberate false starts before finally announcing Melissa Leo as the winner.
Most Unprepared: Melissa Leo's surprise at winning kept everyone on their toes, including Kirk Douglas, whom she asked to pinch her, and then the censors, who took advantage of the time-delay to bleep out her F-word. "When I watched Kate [Winslet] two years ago, it looked so f---ing easy," she said.
Most Self-Aware: In Christian Bale's emotional thank-you speech in which he stumbled over his wife's name, he also referenced Melissa Leo's faux pas: "Melissa — I'm not going to drop the F-Bomb like she did. I've done that plenty before." We wonder if he ever heard the remix of his ballistic rant on the set of Terminator Salvation that went wildly viral.
Weirdest Shout-Out: After winning for best adapted screenplay for The Social Network, Aaron Sorkin handed out an odd request to his daughter. "Roxy Sorkin, your father just won the Academy Award. I'm going to have to insist on some respect from your guinea pig."
The Urban Dictionary Citation Award: David Seidler, who won the original-screenplay Oscar for The King's Speech, thanked the Queen of England "for not putting me in the Tower of London for using the Melissa Leo F-word."
Charlie Sheen Jab: Following Anne Hathaway's hilarious and flawless song poking fun at former host Hugh Jackman, James Franco appeared in a pink gown and platinum wig a la Marilyn Monroe from Gentleman Prefer Blondes. "You got to wear a tuxedo, so I wore this," he quipped, adding, "The weird part is, I just got a text message from Charlie Sheen." See? They are keeping the awards current.
Best Norma Rae-worthy Shout-Out: The Inception sound mixers were among the winners who pointedly mentioned their union crews — apparently in a show of solidarity for Wisconsin state workers fighting to hold onto their bargaining rights.
Worst Groomed: Where's Tabatha Coffey when you need her? The shaggy-haired live documentary short winner Luke Matheny said what we were all thinking, "Wow, I should have gotten a haircut."
Best Post-"Bed Intruder" Use of Auto-Tune: Did you know Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was a musical? Yeah, we didn't either. Using Auto-Tune on the dialogue, Ron Weasley's deluminator became the focus of a song called "Tiny Ball of Light." It was followed by Toy Story 3's "We're Still Here," The Social Network's "Fishing for Facebook," and "He Doesn't Own a Shirt," a ballad highlighting Taylor Lautner's lack of clothing in Twilight: Eclipse.
Biggest Disappointment: "I'm Banksy," Justin Timberlake jokingly announced. Unfortunately, we still won't get to find out who the real Banksy is since his documentary, Exit Through the Gift Shop, lost to Inside Job.
Most Distracting Background: After promising unique on-stage technology, the seamlessly built-in screens were more distracting than anything. While Zachary Levi and Mandy Moore were singing Tangled's "I See the Light," a pointless and crazy swirl of red lowlighted their performance. And it seems as though they used Justin Timberlake's "there's an app for that" shtick just to show off a stage that will be used once and never heard from again.
Best Academy Challenge: Randy Newman rightfully calls foul on the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for nominating only four songs. "To hell with it. You couldn't find a fifth song?"
Biggest Surprise: After winning at the Golden Globes, it seemed sure that The Social Network's David Fincher would win for Best Director. But it was The King's Speech's Tom Hooper who came out victorious and thanked the other two points in his "triangle of man love," Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush.
Funniest Introduction: Following Sandra Bullock's roller-coaster 2010, we're happy to see that her sense of humor is not just intact, but in fighting form. As she introduced the Best Actor nominees, she kept us in stitches beginning with her first "hola" to Javier Bardem to her wisecrack aimed at James Franco, blaming him for kids who've been picked up late from school because moms were at home watching him on General Hospital. Glad to have you back, Sandy.
Cutest Acceptance Speech: While accepting his award for Best Actor, Colin Firth admits to experiencing a "stirring somewhere in the upper abdominals which are threatening to form themselves into dance moves, which, joyous as they may be for me, would be extremely problematic if they made their way to my legs before I get off stage." Oh, those Brits and their dry humor.
Past Their Bedtime Award: Sorry, P.S. 22. It's sweet that you got to sing "Over the Rainbow" as the winners joined you on stage, but the show was already running overtime.
Tune in to TV Guide Network's Academy Awards Red Carpet Fashion Wrap Monday night at 8/7c.