They have the technology... they can rebuild her... and now they are! USA Network's script doctors are busy in the operating room stitching together an update of the The Bionic Woman, ABC's campy 1976-78 Six Million Dollar Man spinoff about a tennis player-turned-secret agent who's part human, part machine and all babe. But what modern-day actress could possibly overload our circuits like Lindsay Wagner, who was the original series' artificially-girl-powered heroine, Jaime Sommers? If you ask us — and USA certainly should — any of these contenders compute.
Anna Kournikova: While she's known as much for her curves as her serves, the courts pin-up would still give a whiff of believability to Jaime's pre-op "love" life. Plus, she could break into a whole new, ahem, racket by tackling the lead in a project that's a wee bit more challenging than an Enrique Iglesias video.
Bianca Lawson: As tough as this second-generation starlet was on Buffy the Vampire Slayer as exotic butt-kicker Kendra, it was her smackdown with guy-stealing Julia Stiles in Save the Last Dance that proved she's a force to be reckoned with. Batteries not included? Honey, batteries not needed!
Farrah Fawcett: At age 55, the golden girl may be a little long in the tooth to be chewing up bad guys. But so what? As a government-created superheroine, she could requisition replacement parts anytime she wants. Besides, she's sure to get her ex, Lee Majors, to cameo, and for a lot less than the figure he earned in his heyday — $6 million.
Angela Bassett: Boasting the best biceps this side of Ahnold, the tough gal is beyond ready to muscle her way into the action arena. And get real — outside of sci-fi, she's never going to find a rumble that lives up to Ike and Tina's backseat brawl in What's Love Got to Do With It.
Carmen Electra: Turns out, the failure of the former Mrs. Dennis Rodman's pilot about a crime-fighting fembot was a blessing in disguise for boob-tube fans — it left the onetime Prince protégée free to consider signing on as a lab- and audience-tested mechavixen: Jaime!
Tamika: Accuse us of typecasting if you must, but after the American Idol reject went off on Simon Cowell and Co. following her godawful audition, we began to suspect that she already had at least one bionic body part — that sassy mouth of hers. If only Jaime's makers could come up with a gadget to cure tone-deafness...
Winona Ryder: The Alien Resurrection android has been giving robotic performances for what seems like an eternity. Face it — Richard Gere's Rolex out-acted her in Autumn in New York! So what better sort of show could the accused shoplifter possibly steal than one about an actual cyborg?
Anna Nicole Smith: For years, the bodacious blonde has had to put up with gossip that she's not 100 percent au naturel. So here's her big chance to poke fun at the media's larger-than-life image of her by strapping on Jaime's R2-D-cups to portray a man-made minx. Oh, wait — drat! Isn't there already a show just like this on E!?