Our top moments of the week:
12. Fishiest Proposal: When Tamra Barney takes a surprise vacation to Bora Bora with her boyfriend, Eddie, on The Real Housewives of Orange County, she suspects that he's going to propose marriage. She doesn't tell the other ladies about her trip, just in case she's wrong. But she isn't. Despite her suspicions, Eddie still manages to shock her when he places the engagement ring in a clam shell and then instructs her to open it. She gasps, covers her eyes, cries and, duh, says yes.
11. Best Bright Side: When GLAAD taps Sonja Morgan to present an award on The Real Housewives of New York City, she apparently forgets to ask one very important question: What's my call time? At the ceremony, Sonja is backstage in the green room nibbling on a kabob and chit-chatting away about Parents' Night at her kid's school when she hears the emcee calling her name repeatedly. Still oblivious that she is late, Sonja eventually saunters to the stage and presents the award. When she's told later about her tardiness, she chooses to see the silver lining. "I didn't fall off the stage... this time." Where is that footage?
10. Best Laid Plans Go Awry Award: With no leads on the job-hunting front, The Glades' Callie tries to return to med school, but gets rejected for a loan. Realizing all the sacrifices that his girlfriend has made — like, say, turning down that head nursing position in Atlanta to stay with him — Jim encourages Callie to go to Atlanta and take the job. "You give so much to everyone else; you sacrifice so much," he says. "Maybe it's time one of us jackasses stepped up and did something for you. Let me be that jackass." How romantic!
9. Most Depressing Start: On the series premiere of Bunheads, depressed Las Vegas showgirl Michelle makes the rash decision to marry Hubbell, an admirer and almost complete stranger. Hubbell's mother, Fanny, perhaps logically, hates Michelle — that is, until they go out drinking together and bond over their shared love of dance. But the good times stop there, as they soon learn that Hubbell was in a bad car accident and may be dead.
8. Biggest Kiss and Tell: In her audition for The Glee Project, Aylin tells Ryan Murphy & Co. that her Muslim mother has raised her so strictly that she doesn't even know that she's kissed a boy before. That formerly well-kept secret doesn't stay hidden for long: During a game of Spin the Bottle, she makes out with several of the guys. "Sorry, Mom, but just look at Blake," she tells the camera, giggling.
7. Smartest Leveraging: On Suits, Jessica orders Harvey to fire the law-degree-less Mike and threatens to ax both of them if she finds out that he was in on the cover-up. Harvey is at a loss at what to do until the uber-shady Daniel Hardman, one of the firm's founding partners and the bane of Jessica's and Harvey's existence, returns. With Hardman out for Jessica's job, Harvey tells her that she can't fire either of them because it would make her vulnerable to a pink slip herself. "If I leave now, he'll smell something's wrong and figure out what it is," Harvey says. "You'll look reckless for letting me hire a kid without a degree or foolish for not knowing I did it. ... You need me and I'm not staying without Mike," Harvey says shrewdly. Problem solved! Except for that whole degree-less lawyer thing.
6. Worst Close Call: On the season premiere of Burn Notice, it looks like Michael will finally defeat his nemesis Anson, after months of enduring his sociopathic blackmail. Too bad the minute he catches up with him, he announces that he has a detonator set up to blow up a building that Michael's CIA brethren and his right-hand man, Sam, currently occupy. As a result, good guy Michael lets Anson go, but he still blows up the plant as he flees. Fortunately, Sam and the crew make it out in the nick of time, but Michael's relief is short-lived as he watches Anson escape on a speedboat.
5. Most Suspicious Reveal: Who killed Rosie Larsen? According to the missing elevator security tape from the night of her murder that Holder and Linden watch on The Killing, Suspect Numero Uno appears to be Jamie, Richmond's campaign manager. After all, at the same time, Richmond gets a call from a mysterious stranger who turns out to be Jamie's grandfather. When Jamie arrives at his grandfather's house to scold him for making him come over, he is stunned to see Richmond there too. "Why did you lie to me, Jamie?" he asks. So did Jamie really do it? At this rate, he's probably yet another red herring.
4. Strangest Serenade: This is crazy, but even Colin Powell wants you to have his number and call him... maybe. During a commercial break on CBS This Morning, the former Secretary of State, National Security Advisor and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff croons an a cappella version of Carly Rae Jepsen's infectious hit "Call Me Maybe" with co-anchor Gayle King. It's awkward and kind of weird, but at least it's real? Your move, Hillz.
3. Best Tirade: We always thought of The Bachelorette's Emily Maynard as a sweet-as-pie Southern belle — until this week's episode. When Maynard learns that the toothy, pretentious Kalon referred to her 6-year-old daughter as "baggage," Maynard unleashes the beast in a way we never thought possible. "I want to go West Virginia hood rat backwoods on his ass!" she proclaims. And does she ever! "Do you have anything to say for yourself?" she demands. But before Kalon could stick his foot in his mouth any further, Maynard lays the smackdown. "Get the f--- out!" she tells him. Lesson learned: Never mess with a backwoods hood rat's baby!
2. Old Habits Die Hard Award: One thing the damaged souls of Mad Men know how to do is move on. (Just get a load of the photo accompanying this story — onward and upward for Sterling Cooper Draper
Pryce Campbell Harris!) After casting Megan in the Butler shoe ad on the season finale, Don saunters away — in a gorgeously filmed shot — and heads to a bar. He orders an old fashioned, lights up a cigarette, and a young blond approaches him. (Sound familiar?) "My friend down there," she says, pointing to a brunette, "she was wondering, are you alone?" We don't see Don's answer, but as Nancy Sinatra's "You Only Live Twice" plays, that rakish grin he flashes says it all — or does it?
1. Best Surprise: We don't think anyone really thought that True Blood's Tara was dead-dead when they watched last season's finale, bullet to the temple nothwithstanding. Still, it's a real sea change for the character to become a vampire without her consent. Until now, Tara has been the show's resident sad sack, but after all her misfortune, this might be the thing that sends her over the edge. Our introduction to Vampire Tara indicates as much, since the first thing she does after her dirt nap is attack her cherished friend Sookie.
What were your top moments?