Our top moments of the week:
13. No "I" in "Team" Award: On Ice Loves Coco, Coco is pumped to show her hubby her new Licious clothing line at the factory... until Ice-T points out something her whole crew had apparently missed: All the shirts are printed with the (non)-word "licous" — or, phonetically, "lick-us." Don't get too upset, Coco. Beyonce can't spell it either.
12. Best Accidental Foreshadowing: Don't get us wrong, we love Jesse Tyler Ferguson on Modern Family, but maybe in his next lifetime he should come back as a fortune teller! Less than 12 hours after praising So You Think You Can Dance host Cat Deeley on-air and declaring that she deserves an Emmy nomination, the Brit receives one — her first! — for Best Reality Show Host.
11. Best Entrance into the History Books: Derek Jeter's arrival at 3,000 hits was a little delayed, thanks to a pesky calf injury, but when the New York Yankees shortstop reached the big number on Saturday, he did it in a very big way. Not only was it one of five hits in one game, but his 3,000th was a home run. As YES commentator Michael Kay screamed during the game: "History with an exclamation point!"
10. Oddest First Impression: It's unclear to us exactly why Joe Gorga accepts the dare to strut around in his wife's tight sparkly black Spandex bodysuit during a meeting among the families on The Real Housewives of New Jersey. We know things have been tense between his sister, Teresa, and wife, Melissa, but do we really need to resort to cross-dressing to bring about detente?
9. Best Twist:
On Pretty Little Liars, the people of Rosewood finally though they knew who killed Alison: Ian. But no. Hints from "A" lead Spencer, Aria, Emily and Hanna to a cemetery where they see the home movie they thought proved Ian's culpability creepily projected onto a large gravestone. They are shocked to see that where they thought the movie ended — with Alison lying lifeless — was really just a pause. She wasn't dead yet, as the film continues and shows Ian giving her a kiss goodbye. So now the mystery is reopened: Who the heck killed Alison?
8. Funniest Death Scene: In what appears to be the not-so-happy ending of Sookie's, let's face it, super-boring faerie origin story on True Blood, a confused, amnesiac Eric sees Claudine lurking in the shadows and seizes her, feeding on her... to her death. "You just killed my faerie godmother!" Sookie yells. "Sorry," Eric says sheepishly. We're not, Eric!
7. Worst Interview: After months of speculation, Emily Maynard confirms her break-up from The Bachelor's Brad during a sit-down with Chris Harrison on The Bachelorette. While Emily keeps it classy, after 15 minutes of the most soporific conversation on the franchise ever (and that's saying something), we were left yearning for more of Ashley's ridiculous quest for true love. Note to producers: If you're going to insert a drawn-out Q&A into an episodes, make sure it's as feisty as Jake and Vienna's showdown last season.
6. Just Say No Award:
After Rescue Me's Tommy Gavin finds his recovering alcoholic daughter unconscious, he decides to give in and pour himself a drink. As soon as the booze hits his tongue, visions of his dead father, brother and cousin materialize to applaud his return to the bottle. But after the ghosts, who have haunted Tommy throughout the series, say their peace, Tommy makes them all disappear when he spits the liquor out. Perhaps he's finally learned that he's not drinking because he's haunted — he's haunted because he's drinking.
5. Back to Square One Award:
After a squabble between Brenda and Chief Delk over her ethics investigation on The Closer, it seems everything is hunky-dory. He even commends her in front of the whole squad for her work on the Decker case. But just as we're ready to raise a glass of Merlot, Delk suffers a stroke and collapses onto the floor. And judging from the funeral scene in the promo (and the fact that he'll only be in one more episode), it's not looking too good for him. So much for that new org chart!
4. Most Awkward Beginning: Curb Your Enthusiasm ironically starts its eighth season with a period. When a local Girl Scout peddling cookies at Larry's doorstep gets her first period in his presence, he runs upstairs to grab the tampons his estranged wife left behind and instructs the terrified, confused young girl how to insert said tampon — a lesson that will likely cost much more in therapy bills than she'll ever earn from those darn cookies.
3. Best Interview: In her first interview since being freed, Jaycee Dugard, who was kidnapped at 11, is the picture of strength as she details on ABC's Primetime her harrowing 18-year captivity — never playing the victim. But nothing's more moving than when she recalls her reunion with her mother, Terry Probyn. "I was like, 'I can see my mom?' It was like a question to [the police]. 'I can?'" she says through laughter and tears as she finishes her mom's story. "I remember you shouting, 'They found her! My daughter!' and I was crying. You know when you're crying and you can't speak? I just said, 'Come quick.'" While understandably emotional, Dugard is also happy, well-adjusted and a shining example of the triumph of the human spirit.
2. Greatest Comeback: On the brink of its earliest World Cup elimination in history, the U.S. women's soccer team showed some good ol' fashioned American gumption to reverse its fortune against Brazil in the quarterfinals. In the 122nd minute, Abby Wambach pounds a header off a cross from Megan Rapinoe to level the game and supply a rush of adrenaline in the penalty shootout, which the Americans won. The dramatic comeback fell on the 12th anniversary of Brandi Chastain's bra-baring, World Cup-winning penalty kick and was reminiscent of Landon Donovan's late goal against Algeria last year. Unlike the boys, though, the ladies have a chance to win it all Sunday after staging another late-game comeback against France in the semifinals.
1. Coldest Move: He pulled himself across a tightrope on a gorge, ate a worm and cut up a dead sheep, but the best/most worrisome part of Jake Gyllenhaal's Icelandic Man vs. Wild adventure is when he gets half-nekkid. While it's never a bad thing to see him shirtless, we feel compelled to drape him in, like, 242 blankets after Bear Grylls tells the daredevil star to shed his jacket and shirt to keep them dry while they cross a subzero river. Seriously, was it really necessary? The water was barely above the knee. "It takes balls," Grylls says as they get dressed again. "Well, they're right up in my throat right now," Gyllenhaal quips.
What were your top moments?