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Love Is Blind's Nancy Reveals Her Doubts About Bartise Started Before the Altar

'I gave him a second chance and he f--ked it up'

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Kat Moon

[Warning: The following contains spoilers from the finale of Love Is Blind Season 3.]

Another season of Netflix's messy, chaotic, and oh-so-addicting Love Is Blind has come to an end. Much of Season 3's drama surrounded Nancy Rodriguez and Bartise Bowden — the 33-year-old real estate investor and 27-year-old senior analyst who was an easy couple to root for when they exited the pods, but whose relationship soon hit major roadblocks. Most notably, Bartise spoke about feeling a lack of physical attraction to his fianceé Nancy — and being more attracted to fellow cast member Raven Ross who he called a "smokeshow." Other conflicts emerged in the relationship, including Nancy and Bartise's different views on abortion, and the engagement ultimately did not end in marriage. Instead, on their wedding day, Bartise said he would not marry Nancy after she said "I do." 

In an interview with TV Guide, Nancy spoke about why she stayed with Bartise and said yes to him at the altar. She also opened up about a conversation that was not shown to viewers, in which she told Bartise she could not see herself marrying him. "I gave him a second chance and he f-cked it up," Nancy said. That was a big reason why for her, "Love is Blindsided" — the phrase Nancy used at the season's reunion — largely captured her experience.

What surprised you the most when you watched the show for the first time?
Nancy: I think my biggest surprise when I watched the entire season was that I was seeing the different perspectives. Initially I watched it I'm like, I see myself and how quirky I am. But then it was also watching the show through Bartise's lens, from his perspective. And then watching it through our relationship. There was a lot of different point of views that I was watching it under. There were some scenes that I had to rewatch because I was like, what happened? Like, how did that conversation come about? Overall, one of the bigger shockers is that at that time in my relationship, it was hard for me to see Bartise's insecurities. And I think that's something that, as a learning lesson for me and my future relationships, is that I have to really be more open to maybe asking more questions about my partner, because there were some things that I didn't recognize when you're in in that bubble of love, in that bubble of this experiment. 

Can you share more about what some of those insecurities in Bartise were?
Nancy: I think the jealousy was a big shock for me because I didn't realize that he was so jealous about the Andrew situation — like Andrew showing back up in our lives. You saw the scene, I was like, I have no regrets, Bartise is my man. Yes, we're going through some things, as all couples do, but we're getting through it. For him to come over and be so — like in that moment, I didn't feel it that way. I was just like, oh, he's checking on us. But looking back at it, I was like, oh my God, he really was defensive. I was just really surprised to see that there were moments where Bartise showed that jealousy and I didn't recognize it. 

Nancy and Bartise, Love Is Blind Season 3

Nancy and Bartise, Love Is Blind Season 3

Netflix

Watching it back, how do you feel about your decision of saying yes at the altar?
Nancy: Watching it again, you saw me on the staircase, and I said [to Bartise], you blindsided me. That's a promise that I asked you not to do. You guys didn't actually get to see that clip, but it was our first conversation in Dallas in our living room and we were just talking about our differences. He said, what is your biggest fear? And I said my biggest fear was if you were to blindside me. And I get to the altar and don't know that you were going to say no. And then you say no, like, how embarrassing would that be? We promised each other communication, we promised each other not to blindside. And so you see that through our relationship that he was a no, and he was a yes. And then I told him I was going to say no, about halfway through, actually right after the group outing with Andrew that we had. After that night, for me I was checked out. I had a conversation with Bartise and I said, I can't see myself marrying you, you're not the person that I envisioned in the pods, the person that you were in Malibu. And he asked me for a second chance. So the fact that the last two weeks of our relationship was him trying, him courting me, him dating me, him telling me, the we, the us, the future, just really giving it his all — and then sending me that shot five minutes before I went down the aisle, "let's do the damn thing" — that was the blindside. He made me believe that he was going to say yes.

What happened during the group outing that made you check out and want to say no to him?
Nancy: That was the first night that we all united as a group together. I hadn't seen Zanab. I hadn't seen any of the girls and just hearing what the other women were going through, that definitely made me check in with myself. Like, why are you here? Putting up with something that isn't aligning with what you believe. I think for me, it was checking in with the girls. And then the other thing was that night, after the group outing you guys get to see when we're in the kitchen and I said hey I feel like you're being weird on the way home. And he talks about looks do matter. And at that point, I'm like, bro, I'm brown, I am tan, I've got all the opposite qualities of what you want. So take this or leave it. At that point, I was like, I hear what you're saying but what you wanted, it has not worked for you. So this is what you have as a fiancee, you're going to take it or leave it. And I think that conversation really empowered me to recognize that this person at that time was not for me. He wasn't the person that I thought made me feel safe, made me feel comfortable anymore. I'm almost betrayed. I say, this feels like betrayal because you made a promise to me to propose to me to really take this as an opportunity. But then you're throwing it in my face that I'm not your type. That's where I had my turning point.

Bartise and Nancy, Love Is Blind Season 3

Bartise and Nancy, Love Is Blind Season 3

Netflix

Looking back, how do you feel about Bartise's decision to say no? Are you happy he said no because that means you're not married to him now?
Nancy: I am grateful that Bartise said no. Bartise wasn't ready to be married. And although he wanted to convince me he wanted to convince himself maybe that he was, I'm just thankful that he went with that answer because throughout our relationship, I didn't know where he stood sometimes with how he really felt. One day it was like I love you, this and that. And the next day, he'd say I wasn't his type. It was very rocky going through the relationship, that for me that final answer of does this man want to be with me? And when he said no, I shut down because I'm like, alright, got it. 

At the reunion you guys talked about the tall blonde Bartise was with. When and how did you first hear about this and what was your reaction?
Nancy: On a Thursday was when we had our wedding, and then that Friday, that very next day, it was when I saw the post, didn't think anything of it, just like whatever some blonde check next to him. But then it was the following day where they were on a boat and she was sitting on his lap and they were all cozy rosy. Honestly for me the feeling was, wow. Not only did I get blindsided but just kind of questioning like, how do you move on so quickly? For him he called it coping for me, I call it — I don't know, I don't know what to call it. Do you. If anything it stung more that he moved on so quickly.

Did the topic come up whether in the pods or once you met in person that he typically was interested in blonde women?
Nancy: No, we chose to not talk about any physical attributes during the pod to see if we can actually fall in love with just the people that we are. It was when we got into the real world that he was influenced by social media, seeing posts of women that I guess is physically attracted to and then used it against me to say no.

Given the comments that he made about you and your looks, why did you choose to stay with him and to say yes at the altar?
Nancy: Coming into this experience, I was already a whole person so I validate myself. Any opinion that someone has of me is extra information, so it goes in one ear out the other. I still am very confident, very empowered by who I am. And so for me, it wasn't hearing it and then making it a reason to not move forward. For me it was, as a person you are not who I thought you were, which is why I told him I was going to say no. For me it was, when he asked me for another chance, it was really giving him that grace to try again. And we're in this such unique experience where we're super fast-forwarded, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Walking away, I wanted to say we gave it our all. I gave him a second chance and he f-cked it up. [Laughs]. For me saying yes, was the two weeks leading up into the wedding, he convinced me when he was speaking in our future tense. And unfortunately, he blindsided me. But I'm so thankful. I think that's the biggest take home for me is that this man was not ready for me. And I appreciate that he said no, because I wouldn't have wanted a half-ass husband if he wasn't really in it. And so I just think that moving forward, what I've learned from watching myself is that setting boundaries, it's really important for me to protect myself to protect my heart. And that's what I've been going to therapy for this last year and a half, it's just really recognizing where my weaknesses lie and what are things that I can do to cope with boundaries especially and making sure that I cherish and value my energy for myself first before I love on others.

All episodes of Love Is Blind Season 3 are available to stream.