Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson by Mario Perez/ABC Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson by Mario Perez/ABC

Hello, Ausholes! Damn glad to meet you. I'm Mickey O'Connor, the new guy at TVGuide.com, and not, as it might sound, a leprechaun. I'm not as mean as Mike, and way more handsome. But I do want to thank "Mr. Ausiello" (as he requested I address him - as if!) for carving out a little corner of his crazy-verse for me. Lost is my favorite TV show, and periodically I will barge in here with whatever theory, observation and/or scoop I might have about Team Darlton's baby. Bonus! If I'm busy writing Mike's columns for him, he can pick up his own "nutritional supplements." (Everyone knows what Propecia is for, Mike!)

Mike wants me to be known as Doc O'C when I write about Lost. To be honest, I'm not so sure about this idea. I think it's funny, a play on the names of the real Lost experts of the Internets - Doc Arzt and EW's Doc Jensen. Plus, it rhymes (think of the Spider-Man villain). I suppose imitation being the sincerest form of flattery, we'll go with it for now - unless you guys have a better idea. Mi identity es su identity. (Keep it clean.)

So let's get started: An upcoming, post-strike episode will feature the same male character at different ages, described as "sweet, shy, tentative and smart" at 5 and "angry, a little nerdy, defiant and rebellious" at 16. Also, said male character has green eyes, a fact you might not find significant, unless you were this guy. The same episode also features a redheaded teenaged girl who is "emotional, prone to dramatic gestures, and passionately in love." Who are we talking about here?

The easy answer is: Duh, it's Ben and Annie, his childhood pal. But! Conflicting intel says these characters appear in a Locke-centric episode, which is confusing. To me, Locke's backstory seems pretty much wrapped up, after having had Sawyer off his organ-stealing daddy. I can't imagine that we're going to whoosh back into mini-Locke's childhood angst at this juncture.

So I have three theories, in descending order of probability:

Theory No. 1: My mole is wrong and we'll finally see the love story of Ben and Annie. When we last saw Annie, she was shaping up to be Joey to Ben's Dawson. After all, The Island is nothing more than an ominous, creepy Capeside, right? Since Annie no longer seems to be alive and kicking and/or on The Island, we'll find out what happened to her. Did she die in The Purge? Did she catch the first submarine away from Ben the first time he mentioned that she belonged to him? Did she find her Pacey? Did she - gasp! - get pregnant?

Theory No. 2: Locke's next ep is an island-based flashback, in which we'll see Locke's followers travel to The Temple to join the in-hiding Others (what the heck is The Temple anyway?). It's there that we'll meet these spunky teens, who will be the subjects of rigorous testing (cough, brainwashing). Remember Carl being "tested" for his response to vivid imagery and proselytizing in the infamous Room 23? Kinda like that. As for the boy's 5-year-old self, I'm going with an acid-flashback-within-a-narrative-flashback.

Theory No. 3: I'm totally wrong and we'll see a tiny, bald Locke as a child. Which I would totally hate.

What do you think? Who are these people? Which theory would you like to see come true? Or, if you have one of your own, sock it to me!