Lost So Hurley is a millionaire...

Lost
So Hurley is a millionaire lottery winner who was falsely arrested. I totally thought it looked like a Cops episode when I spotted the hidden Hurley last week. That's an answer, of sorts, but as with everything else on this show, one answer means at least ten more questions. Like where the heck did those numbers come from? Why are they on that secret hatch that Locke's been trying to crack open? And why did they cause Hurley, I mean Hugo, to have such a string of bad luck? I mean the grandfather dying and sister-in-law having a lesbian affair could happen to anyone, but a priest getting struck by lightning during grandpa's funeral, witnessing a person falling from a skyscraper, or unknowingly owning a sneaker factory that burned down and caused employee deaths? That just ain't right. No wonder he thinks he's cursed. I'd believe him, especially if I was trying to screw in a lightbulb.

4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42.... I'm already starting to mutter those numbers; soon I'll be playing Connect 4 solitaire. Let's see, according to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books, 42 is the meaning of life and that was the special number on the lotto. OK, that's a start. Then if you double the four, from Connect 4 perhaps, and you get eight, it was 16 weeks since anybody had won the lotto and 15 and 16 are close together, and 23... yeah, I got nothing.

One thing I do know for sure: If I were Shannon and I saw Hurley, Sayid, Jack and Charlie trekking off into the woods, I would have been right behind them. What more could a girl need — a resourceful, golf-course-creating dude; a sexy, mysterious guy who she already knows is a good kisser; a hot doctor and a guitar-playing sweetheart. And if I were Jack or Sayid, I'd be diving into that ocean water to find out what kind of insane Atlantis thing was hidden under the sea that could manage to generate power. And I'm not just saying that so they'd have to take off their shirts or anything. — Angel Cohn

Smallville
"Two Lanes under one roof... that's gotta be interesting." Truer words, Lex, truer words. Not to mention hot. What is with this town? Lana, Clark, Jason, Lois, they're all yummy! Even Lois' con-girl little sister is Maximlicious. And though the brat was secretly setting Lois up with that whole loan-shark deal, we need to have a round of applause for former As the World Turns vixen Peyton List. Not only does she look like she could share a genetic code with Erica Durance, she also totally set off sparks with both Clark and Lex. Hmmm. Hopefully, the bad seed will turn Lex's stolen car around and pay us another visit. Jason, on the other hand, seems to be on his way out. Especially now that Lana's busted him attacking Lionel. No wonder she staged a break-in to hide that damn stone from him! Plus, with Coach Teague out of the way, we can finally get that Lana-Clark-Lois triangle brewing. And that would be super. — Damian Holbrook

American Idol
I so want to make an aloha, Aloha joke, but I'm way too bereft. What the hell, people? There is no way she's gone and Janay Castine is still on that stage. Did some tone-deaf support group host a call-in vote party? Celena Rae, I can understand. But Miss Mischeaux? Come on. As for the guys, yeah, Joe Murena and David Brown were just aiight, nothing special. In fact, the only truly special thing here is that Fox finally found God and cut the elimination shows down to a half hour. Amen. — DH

The West Wing
Hey, what happened to the stand-off with the Canadians? I suppose the threat of taking away their hunting licenses persuaded those uppity Canucks to stand down. Good thinkin', Kate. And did I hear "Blame Canada" in the background? Or no, that was probably just in my head.

Nice move on Santos' part, sneaking around the capitol in the wee hours of the morning with a bevy of Democrats in tow, part of the plan C.J. dubs "Operation Slumber Party." Serves those shifty Republicans right for trying to slide in a vote on stem cells while Dems were out of town.

Now, as hot-topic as stem-cell research is, the more radical idea put forth in this episode was revealed by those pesky teens, the Future Leaders of Democracy. When they locked horns with Toby over abolishing age requirements for voting, his initial response was patronizing and typical, "Interesting idea, kids, now if you'll excuse me...." But then, there was that brief but brilliant moment where Annabeth tries to pull Toby away, telling the kids they're late for their pizza dinner, and as they stand up to leave, Toby says innocently, "District Pizza delivers, don't they?" When he flashes that almost, but not quite, half-smile, you know things are about to get interesting. Can I just say that Richard Schiff deserves another Emmy for those little looks? Seriously, he is so subtle and so good that you may not even notice that he's the glue holding the show together.

But getting back to suffrage, as Toby reveals, the government spends 10 times as much on poor seniors as it does on children living in poverty — that's just not right. Children deserve a voice in government, goshdarn it. I say if you're old enough to spell "vote," then you're old enough to cast one. Come on! Who's with me?!... "SpongeBob and Scooby in '08!" — Daniel Roberts

Alias
OK, Sick Scene of the Night goes to... Julian Sark! As if visiting Lauren's corpse in that top-secret morgue wasn't creepy enough, the Brit bad boy goes and fingers the bullet holes? Ewwww. Then again, it's not like any of these people are even in spitting distance of normal. Syd's dressing up as Vaughn's dead wife, he's all Hitchcock Vertigo, teaching her how to speak like his old ball-and-chain, and Jack is risking Sunny Von Nadia's life to wake her from a coma! You knew Sloane was gonna shoot one of his "if I had a mustache, I'd twirl it" looks at that move. But you know, sometimes, ya gotta get a little freaky when Anna Espinosa's on the loose. And as much as I live and breathe for the KGB goddess, that mortuary brawl with Syd was completely worth the realization that her capture — and the fabulous Gina Torres' new ABC pilot deal — pretty much spells the end of this show's coolest villain. Oh, well. At least Sark is still loose. — DH