"Will you look at all...

"Will you look at all these rumors/Surrounding me every day?/I just need some time/Some time to get away from/From all these rumors/I can't take it no more." Back in the '80s, who among us could have guessed that Timex Social Club's wondrous one hit would be even more relevant today, especially to those of us who live, eat and breathe all things tubular (I mean that in the TV-related sense, not in the gnarly Valley Girl way). Think about it: Every day, the gossip mill seems to churn out another titillating tidbit about our favorite shows sometimes even more than one. So maybe it's apropos that one of the chief starters of said rumors should also be the one to cut through all the prattle and separate fact from fiction. Or at the very least try.

Rumor: Someone's a switch-hitter on Grey's Anatomy.
Source: E! Online
True or False: True at least if my casting spies are correct in telling me producers are looking for an actress to play a woman in her forties who shows up at Seattle Grace with a bisexual bombshell up her sleeve about one of the female interns. Suddenly, George's Super Bowl shower fantasy is taking on an all new (mostly literal) meaning.

Rumor: CW has renewed 13 UPN/WB series, including Everwood and Veronica Mars.
Source: TVWeek.com
True or False: False. Although TVWeek.com quickly pulled the story off its website Thursday afternoon, it was up long enough for fans of such on-the-fence gems as Mars and Everwood to hire a party planner and put a deposit on the band. A CW rep says the reporter "assumed too much" from a development presentation the upstart net gave Wednesday to advertisers. The reality is, nothing has been officially renewed.

Rumor: Lost will reveal why Oceanic Flight 815 crashed this season.
Source: Ask Ausiello
True or False: True. Executive producer Carlton Cuse confirms that what he and Damon Lindelof told me in November still holds true: During May sweeps (most likely in the season finale), viewers will learn why the doomed jetliner fell out of the sky.

Rumor: Rescue Me is courting Marisa Tomei.
Source: Entertainment Weekly
True or False: True. In fact, a source close to the show tells me that Tomei's deal to play the ex-wife of Tommy's brother Johnny is "100 percent closed." However, a Rescue Me spokesman insists there's nothing official to report. Well, they still have some time to get their stories straight  Tomei's first episode won't start shooting for a few more weeks.

Rumor: Desperate Housewives' Season 3 mystery will revolve around a new male character.
Source: USA Today
True or False: Was true, but now may be false. As I reported in Wednesday's AA, producers have shuttered plans to introduce a fortysomething character with a "Tom Hanks likability" that would have figured prominently both in Bree's romantic life and in next season's big mystery. "They decided to go in another direction," says a Housewives rep. "They are no longer looking for this particular role." I wonder if it has something to do with the fact that Bill Pullman was offered the part and passed? That wasn't a rhetorical question  I really wanna know.

Rumor: Chris O'Donnell is joining Grey's Anatomy.
Source: Ask Ausiello
True or False: True! Nearly two months after I first broke this story, ABC is finally confirming the worst-kept secret in Hollywood: The former Head Case is headed to Grey's. But that's all the net is admitting. To keep a lid on the plot, execs no doubt under strict orders from a certain Information Nazi whose name rhymes with Fonda Dimes won't say whom he's playing or how long he'll be sticking around. What's more, to ensure that O'Donnell won't blab, they're not making him available to the press until after his April 2 debut. Short story short: They're making it very difficult for me to spoil things for you. But a guy can still try: The buzz is that O'Donnell will be on for eight episodes playing a hunky veterinarian who'll get Meredith to start McDreaming about someone other than Derek. See, that didn't hurt anyone, did it?

Rumor: Michael is gone for good on Lost.
Source: The Ausiello Report
True or False: False. The fact is, I made up this rumor for the sole purpose of squashing it. You see, I just found out that Harold Perrineau's avenging father will resurface during May sweeps, and I wanted to work it into this story somehow.

Rumor: Julian McMahon is returning for the Charmed series finale.
Source: Charmed universe
True or False: False. "There's no way I'll get Julian back," admits exec producer Brad Kern. "I begged and guilted him into coming back last year for the 150th episode, and he did that sweetly for the fans, but I could never try to get him back. Or afford him."

Rumor: I'm dead and this week's AA was written by a scab.
Source: TVGuide.com's Angel Cohn
True or False: False. I can assure everyone that I'm very much alive although I did spend much of the week heavily medicated and covered from head to toe in my own sick. I can also assure you that, in spite of this, I still found the strength to churn out AA. Scab, my ass. (Wait, that didn't come out right.) BTW, I'm happy to report that I am fully recovered from my nasty bout with bubonic burrito. I couldn't have done it without all of your prayers, letters of support, and warnings to get up off my lazy, sick ass and return to work before Matt Webb Mitovich takes over this column, too. As always, you guys rock.