Joe Millionaire butler Paul Hogan would sooner serve white wine with steak than reveal which of Evan Marriott's wannabe wives winds up wearing the noufaux riche construction worker's engagement ring. But he will disclose who didn't see any action at all during the taping of the Fox smash: him!

"Fancy being at a French chateau for [a month] with 20 women and not being slipped a single number!" he exclaims to TV Guide Online in mock humiliation. (In the interest of full disclosure, it must be noted that Hogan did attract at least one admirer. "Paul is very charming," admits Melissa Jo "MoJo" Hunter. "If he was a little bit younger, we could have had a whole other show!")

Truth be told, the distinguished major-domo wasn't terribly broken up that he didn't land a lass of his own. "It would have been nice, I suppose, but my old man always told me, 'Never get your meat where you buy your bread,'" he says, chuckling. "It just wasn't the appropriate time to chase after these young things."

Even under different circumstances, the dapper divorc&#233 probably still wouldn't have pursued every gold-digging Sarah, Heidi and Mary who crossed his path. "Many of them were closer to my daughter's age than my own," he observes, "and although I understand the language of 25-year-old women, I don't speak it.

"I enjoy good company," he adds. "I know some people around my age group seem to think that fresh meat's nice, but I prefer their mums!"