I've missed Kitchen Confidential. I know it isn't really groundbreaking TV, and I know its goose is pretty much cooked, but it is just plain funny. Reuniting Alias pretty boys Bradley Cooper and Michael Vartan was a genius idea on this too-many-cooks-in-the-kitchen episode. The writers even tossed in a little aside where Cooper (as his character Jack) says they are so close it is like they've worked together before. Clever. And there was a nice lesson learned in a feud like this one, it is always the innocent ones who get hurt. Poor Jim in that ice chest, after his friends had previously banished him to the "idiot hole." But at least the dopey newbie who makes Woody on Cheers look worldly got the line of the night: "Can you help me get the sardines out?" Also it was very smart to give Vartan who was born in France a chance to show off a French accent. Sexy and cool, makes sense that Mimi would jump at the chance to jump him. Ooh la la then I tune in to installment numéro deux of Sleeper Cell and the French terrorist, Christian, is looking completely sexy while giving guided tours of Hollywood. And just as I'm feeling a little bit guilty that I'm finding a TV terrorist really hot, and wondering why I never get tour guides who look like that when I go on vacation, he goes and shows off his reprehensible behavior by dissing the woman he just slept with. Nice. Solves my dilemma at least. I'd rather just think of these guys as monsters. It's all creepy to me that Farik works for a security company and coaches Little League doesn't give me warm and fuzzies at all. I'd rather my terrorists be straight-up evil, like Tommy, who looks like an all-American sweetie but would kill his momma in a heartbeat if she started poking her nose in his business. And then there is Darwyn, who took two agents to task for their lack of skills in shadowing, and then got taken to task by his gal pal Gayle, who was annoyed that he stood her up. Such is a day in the life of an undercover lover. So, will the planned anthrax attack go off in that suburban mall? Guess I'll have to tune in tomorrow.   Angel Cohn

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