Merriam-Webster, listen up. At last night's 60th annual Golden Globe Awards, Chicago champ Renée Zellweger came up with the perfect word to describe all those self-important celebrity "escorts" (i.e. publicists, agents, more publicists) who whisk the winners around backstage after their moment of glory. "They're shufflers," she cracked to reporters after picking up her trophy for best lead actress in a movie musical or comedy. "They're shuffling me around [tonight] with great urgency."
Not to mention danger. At one point, Zellweger's handlers — having decided that the actress's one-on-one interview with Access Hollywood's Billy Bush had gone on long enough — practically strong-armed the petite blonde, insisting she needed to be somewhere else, like, now. Well, where Zellweger nearly ended up was on the floor. In the midst of her mad dash to that very important place, Nurse Betty tripped on some camera equipment and started to fall backwards. But thanks to some fancy footwork, the graduate of the Rob Marshall School of Dancing just barely avoided hitting the ground. And then without missing a beat, she quipped: "That was one of my moves from Chicago, but it was cut."
While Zellweger had shufflers to spare, Meryl Streep was surprisingly entourage-less when she dropped into the press room shortly after scoring a Globe for her supporting work in Adaptation. Of course, her staff may have been off raiding the Beverly Hilton's gift shop for some Ladies Speed Stick. When one journalist commented on how gorgeous she looked, Streep replied: "Don't get near me, I smell like a camel." (For the record, TV Guide Online later scratched and sniffed the actress, and we're happy to report that she was odor free.)
Cecil B. DeMille award recipient Gene Hackman turned to a shuffler in his moment of need Sunday night. While making his way from the photo room to the main press area, TV Guide Online overheard the artist formerly known as Lex Luthor asking his publicist for a piece of chewing gum. Within seconds, Hackman's flak was on the case. "Do you have any gum?!?" he asked one local reporter, who dug deep into his pockets to find a mangled, half-eaten piece of Trident. Clearly desperate, Hackman accepted the offering and continued on his way.
Friends victor Jennifer Aniston, who was being shuffled at a slower-than-usual speed due to her still-healing broken toe, at last set the record straight about her injury. "I stubbed it on an ottoman while running for the phone," she said. "It's very uneventful." The same can't be said about Aniston's comments regarding whether or not her NBC comedy will be there for us beyond the recently-announced 10th season. "I don't know when we'll ever really be done with each other," she said. "It'll be a hard moment whenever it does happen. But [next season], I dare say, truly is the last one." (Of course, that all depends on what her meaning of "is" is.)
Aniston wasn't the only TV star lamenting her show's imminent demise. Sex and the City vamp Kim Cattrall — who won her first Globe Sunday — made it clear that it wasn't her decision to permanently withhold Sex from HBO after the show's upcoming sixth season. "It was an executive decision," she said. Ditto for The Sopranos, which Edie Falco confessed she could see herself doing "forever."
Speaking of Falco, who scored her umpteenth trophy for playing ferocious mob wife Carmela Soprano, TV Guide Online couldn't help but ask the powerhouse whether the tongue-lashing she gave Tony (James Gandolfini) during last December's riveting season finale caused her laryngitis. "That's right," she laughed. "I haven't had it back since then. It's psychosomatic." Falco went on to confide that those breakup scenes between Carmela and Tony were "very hard" to do.
Ironically, grumpy ol' man Larry David confessed that Curb Your Enthusiasm's surprise win for best TV comedy gives him more incentive to bid farewell to the improv-esque series. "Now, people have higher expectations, and the higher the expectations, the more pressure there is," he groaned, "so who needs that."
Apparently Nicole Kidman. After winning two previous Golden Globes (for To Die For and Moulin Rouge), the actress scored her third this year for her haunting portrayal of Virginia Woolf in The Hours. "She's something," raved Jack Nicholson, a winner for About Schmidt. "What a body of work. I'd love to work with her. Who wouldn't?"
Nicholson also had kind words for on-again off-again ladylove Lara Flynn Boyle, who raised more than a few eyebrows by showing up at the kudofest dressed as a ballerina. "Lara's tutu was startling," he admitted. "She's a colorful actress." Nicholson also came out as a fan of her ABC drama The Practice. "I love that show," he said. "I watch it a lot."
It's safe to assume Harrison Ford is a TV junkie himself, considering the Ally McBeal fix he got backstage. While gal-pal Calista Flockhart posed for pictures, the notoriously ornery thesp — admiring her from afar — was grinning from ear to ear. Ford appeared to be in such a good mood that this particular reporter felt safe enough to swoop in and get some Indiana Jones 4 scoop! "We're all hoping that it will start shooting in the summer of 2004," he told TV Guide Online. But will the aging action hero be prepared for the physical demands the role will no doubt make of him? After all, he just turned 60! "Oh, sure," he winks.
As luck would have it, just as Ford was about to spill the top-secret plot of the upcoming sequel, he got carted away by a suit. Damn you shufflers. Damn you!