Now that Zach and Lane are engaged, I can sit back and actually laugh at the ep that tore apart the best couple in Stars Hollow. We always knew Zach was sort of a control freak (he was practically counting paper-towel squares the night Rory stayed over). And he's not exactly the sharpest note on the scale: "Lane just isn't that great a name for a song," he explains to his girlfriend after writing about Maureen, Melissa, Rebecca, Stella and the absolute worst offender, Lorraine. "Nothing rhymes with Lane. Rain, pain, it's all cliché stuff," he sniffs. But who'd have guessed he was crazy-jealous enough to throw a gig
and a potential record deal all because Brian penned a perfectly respectful ditty about the poor dissed drummer? You can see Zach's anger brewing in Sophie's music shop, but it doesn't come out full blast until they get to the club. First he freaks over his wireless mic, then he insists they add some random new guy on
tambourine. It's all off-key from there. Favorite line courtesy of Sebastian Bach: "I remember once throwing up in that corner, and some dude slipped in it and had to go to the hospital, and I stole the chick he was with and shacked up with her for like a week and a half." (Something tells me that's not fiction.) OK, so Zach blows their big chance and he breaks up the band. But he's such a lovable doofus, you just can't be mad at the guy. Besides, he ends up achieving the impossible: getting Mrs. Kim's approval. Yep, the first step in winning back Lane's heart. Sigh. Can't wait for the wedding.