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The 13 Coolest Bars on TV Right Now

Sometimes you just wanna go where people know your name, right?

malcolmvenable.jpg
Malcolm Venable

Television people are just like us: sometimes they need a stiff drink, or a night out with the homies to make the world right again. Whether to drown one's woes after over a bad breakup, to celebrate a win or to meet this week's love of a lifetime, TV's heroines and heros have no shortage of taverns and watering holes where they can raise a glass and get lifted. Here are the 13 best bars on TV right now, according to TV Guide. Cheers!

The Drunken Clam, Family Guy​

The Drunken Clam, Family Guy

FOX

13. The Drunken Clam, Family Guy
Family Guy's fellas -- a posse that includes Peter, Glenn, Cleveland, Joe and occasionally, Peter's dog Brian -- cool off at The Clam, Quahog's hangout for regular Joes like them. Here's where the boys consume oceans of Pawtucket Patriot brew and often execute bewilderingly idiotic feats of machismo, but also share their deepest feelings as if on an all-male version of The View and hear enchanting melodies from the piano. Instantly recognizable by the neon sign out front flashing a clam getting tanked, The Clam resides right on a line of good taste: it's kind of nice, kind of basic, but always there when the boys need it.

Alien Bar, Supergirl​

Alien Bar, Supergirl

The CW

12. Alien Bar, Arrowverse
Alien Bar is, as the name implies, a favored haunt of Arrowverse's aliens -- a spot an Arrowverse Zagat might rank one notch above "dive" that's a "dependable, if predictable watering hole for locals." Regulars including J'onn (David Harewood), Alex Danvers (Chyler Leigh), Mon-El (Chris Wood) and Lyra Stayd (Tamzin Merchant) have come to Alien Bar to commune and catch up in this dark, basic, no-frills joint. Don't let the decor fool you though, Alien Bar is s ground zero of deliciously messy personal drama and hookups, like that time Lyra defended Winn (Jeremy Jordan) from violent aliens...and then asked him out on a date.

Whyte Wyrm, Riverdale​

Whyte Wyrm, Riverdale

The CW

11. Whyte Wyrm, Riverdale
The people of Riverdale sure don't mind indulging in whatever suits their fancy, and Whyte Wyrm is one place where anything goes. Sadly, that includes murder: this is the sketchy biker bar run by the Southside Serpents where Jason Blossom lost his life. Defined by its snake-bearing awning, puke-green glow and patrons of dubious character, this house of ill repute is not at all a place appropriate for high schoolers but then again Archie, Veronica and Betty are hardly squeaky clean themselves so it's fine.

The Scratching Post, iZombie​

The Scratching Post, iZombie

The CW

10. The Scratching Post, iZombie
The speakeasy introduced in Season 3 is the place where every zombie knows your name -- or at least a place where zombies in Seattle could socialize with their own kind, as showrunner Rob Thomas said ahead of its debut. Dimly lit and more than a little morbid, The Scratching Post makes guest prove that they're undead by eating a ghost pepper without flinching -- offering brains and hot sauces from around the world inside. Owned by Blaine DeBeers (David Anders). The Scratching Post kind of becomes old news in Season 4 though, when a new Seattle under Filmore-Graves' control gives Blaine leverage to operate the much fancier Romero's.

Joe's Bar, Grey's Anatomy​

Joe's Bar, Grey's Anatomy

Adam Taylor/Getty Images

9. Emerald City Bar, Grey's Anatomy
Who from Grey's doesn't have a Joe story? Emerald City's mysteriously departed owner saw and heard it all in his way-station for Seattle Grace's doctors -- an unceremonious comfort shack that looks like what would happen if an Applebee's married a local Irish bar. Joe was there when Derek (Patrick Dempsey) and Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) met, he was there when the residents went on strike and though he's moved on, his bar will probably be there the morning after a nuclear event.

Home Base, Crazy-Ex Girlfriend​

Home Base, Crazy-Ex Girlfriend

Scott Everett White/The CW

8. Home Base, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend's
baseball/-themed sports park situation works as a cheeky pun on two levels since it's very much the hub of social life in Crazy's version of West Covina. Home Base has been the place of employment for the dearly departed Greg Serrano (Santino Fontana) his ex Heather (Vella Lovell) and a Tom Cruise-in-Cocktail wannabe Josh (Vincent Rodriguez III) at least once, in addition to being the nexus of crucial Crazy moments such as White Josh (David Hull) and Darryl's (Pete Gardner) bittersweet breakup. Providing the impressive opportunity to pound a few beers, take a few swings at the batting cage and load up on loaded fries, Home Base seems like a kind of adult playground but it's very much real: it's modeled after a complex named Big League Dreams, which is featured in the pilot and recreated on a soundstage in subsequent episodes.

Mesa Gold Bar, Westworld​

Mesa Gold Bar, Westworld

HBO

7. Mesa Gold Bar, Westworld
Recalling the type of trendy hotspot for beautiful people in Miami, Los Angeles or Cabo, Mesa Gold, with its decadent Gold Bar, is the resort inside Westworld Mesa Hub. Overlooking a canyon, this sensual seen-and-be-seen locale contains a bar that's tiny by most standards, but one that can have maximum impact on guests who get caught up in the moment. Case in point: Lee Sizemore who gets drunk, starts feeling himself, foolishly flirts with Charlotte Hale (Tessa Thompson) and then gets cut off -- which won't be the last time he makes a fool of himself there.

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Omari Hardwick as Jamie and Lela Loren as Angela, Power

Jessica Miglio/Starz


6. Truth, Power

James St. Patrick's (Omari Hardwick) sleek Manhattan nightclub looks like the kid of suave, sophisticated place New York City's tastemakers and movers and shakers need to be -- and consider a gleaming example of African-American entrepreneurship. But bottle service isn't the only isn't the only thing being slung at the multi-level manse: Truth houses a booming drug business, offering casual users and big boss buyers a place to score under the radar. Dangerous as it is, Truth admittedly looks like a blast, what with its velvet banquettes, lights and top-notch DJ.

Ariana Madix, Vanderpump Rules

Ariana Madix, Vanderpump Rules

Bravo

5. SUR, Vanderpump Rules
This chi-chi eatery in the heart of LA's glamorous West Hollywood is only one of many in Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Lisa Vanderpump's portfolio -- but the one viewers know best since it's "the office" for Jax, Kristen and assorted other astonishingly good looking white people on Vanderpump's show. With its flickering candlelight and gorgeously shabby chic decor, SUR is beautiful, overpriced and home to self-involved people hoping to get famous -- just like LA itself.

Jack's Crocodile Bar, American Gods​

Jack's Crocodile Bar, American Gods

Jan Thijs/Starz


4. Jack's Crocodile Bar, American Gods
So important to STARZ's series that it reportedly cost an additional $2 million to construct and shoot in, American Gods' Jack's Crocodile Bar is where the series' badasses and beasts come to throw em back -- and throw blows. This is where viewers first got to see what Shadow (Ricky Whittle) was made of, when he ends up in a violent tussle with Mad Sweeney (Pablo Schreiber) and agrees to work for Mr. Wednesday Mr. Wednesday (Ian McShane). Marked by its ceiling adorned with illuminated croc teeth, this sexy and surreal spot absolutely looks like a venue worth checking out in real life with cozy booths bathed in blood red and a jukebox playing dangerous tunes by bands like Velvet Underground. Producers dissect it in this 360 view of the digs here.

Alibi Bar, Shameless​

Alibi Bar, Shameless

Paul Sarkis/Showtime


3. Alibi Room, Shameless
Modeled after Moe's from The Simpsons, Alibi Room is the heart of Shameless -- or perhaps more accurately, the overworked liver where maximum destruction ensues. Nondescript and a little bit dreary, Alibi Room is the default drinking den for Frank (William H. Macy) and the rest of the Gallagher gang -- a place bartender Kevin (Steve Howey) notes has been deemed the "shittiest place bar in the South Side." Lovely!

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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

FXX


2. Paddy's Pub,It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
This Irish pub actually looks comfy and clean from viewers' vantage point -- at least in the beginning of most episodes, and as long as no one has to use the bathroom. All manner of mayhem goes down here, where Philly's finest f***ups and co-owners Mac's (Rob McElhenney), Dennis (Glenn Howerton), Frank (Danny DeVito), and Charlie (Charlie Day) (and Dee (Kaitlin Olson), not an owner but a mainstay) have made Paddy's a sweatshop, a shooting gallery, a hook-up spot, a rat cemetery, a gay bar, a meeting place for Dennis' cult Ass Kickers United and of course HQ for unholy Chardee MacDennis games.

Moe's Tavern, The Simpsons​

Moe's Tavern, The Simpsons

FOX

1. Moe's Tavern, The Simpsons
After Cheers, no other TV bar is as recognizable or more beloved than Moe's, where The Simpsons' men folk -- and occasionally, glitterati and pissed off wives looking for their husbands -- go to knock back a few Duffs. A filthy dive that's been converted to a chic destination once or twice, Moe's gives Homer, Lenny, Carl and good old belching Barney a place to unwind and solicit the reliably terrible advice of its owner/bartender Moe Szyslak. Why not go somewhere else? Well, it appears to be the only bar in Springfield, so even when the joint is being shaken down by mobsters or robbed by shotgun-wielding Snake it's got its charm: namely, no alternative. Patrons planning to attend are encouraged to call and ask for Amanda Hugginkiss and tell Moe Bart Simpson recommended it.