So the twins Emily and Haley Ferguson showed up on Bachelor in Paradise, and thank God the episode was only an hour.
The twins, who I still can't tell apart and I don't care, first appeared on Ben's season and then got their own Freeform reality show that I didn't watch. Their whole thing is that they're creepily identical and dumb and blonde and they say whatever. It seems that giving them their own show was a huge mistake, because it gassed them up so that they think they're hilarious and irresistible. But they are not. It is time to for the twins to get off our TVs and out of our faces.
From the moment they showed up in Paradise, they had obnoxious, entitled attitudes. Their schtick was already wearing thin, and then they ruined any goodwill by being rude without provocation.
"There's a bunch of weirdos here," one of them said. Moments later they graphically talked about each others' vaginas.
One of them, Haley, was into Derek, and the other, Emily, was into Dean. When Haley found out Derek was committed to Taylor, she backed off. But Emily, who her own mother once memorably described as "the dominant twin," would not take no for an answer from Dean. It was awful to watch.
She cornered Dean and tried to bully him into going on a date with her. Dean, of course, had just gone through a grueling love triangle dissolution and could not stray from D-Lo or else a pit would open up beneath him and he would be dragged straight to Hell. But she told him, with no sense of humor in her voice, "you don't have a choice." It was rude and entitled and mean.
It became clear to me tonight that one of Dean's problems is that he's a people pleaser. He wants everyone to like him and be happy even though it's impossible. When Emily was bullying him, he denigrated himself and smiled and said that he'd absolutely go with her if circumstances were different. He didn't have to do all that. He could have said "what's wrong with you? Why are you so aggressive?" But maybe he was afraid she'd murder him. For the first time this season, I felt bad for Dean. It was uncomfortable to watch. It wasn't entertaining or funny.
Since Derek and Dean were "dating shallow, ugly whores," they settled for Jack Stone and Tickle Monster until at the last minute before their date Jack Stone decided he was going to try to make it work with Christen. So the twins threw tantrums. And scallops. And then they left.
Jack Stone, the night's MVP, had the absolute best burn of the twins after they'd gone. "They're gonna go home, they're gonna watch Frozen, they're gonna play with their fidget spinners, they're gonna be alright," he said. Jack Stone's a savage.
Anyway, most people have really had enough of the twins.
What happen to the twins... they turned evil #BachelorInParadise— Robyn (@Robyn_leigh11) September 6, 2017
Why did the twins show up and just start being absolutely terrible? Lmao none of this is cute at all whatsoever. #BachelorInParadise— ☽ (@rachelxorozco) September 6, 2017
To be fair, a minority of people like what the twins are doing.
The twins on Bachelor in Paradise crack me up!😄— Kathy Vanjo (@AuntieBabe) September 6, 2017
But most people had a reaction so simple that the twins themselves could understand it.
The twins are a nightmare #BachelorInParadise— Jess (@Jstant5) September 6, 2017
Bachelor in Paradise's season finale airs next Monday at 8/7c.