It's after Labor Day, and Bachelor in Paradise is almost over. But first, we have to resolve some of the drama that's kept us enraptured all summer.
Dean came back last week and said he'd changed his mind: He asked Caelynn to leave Paradise with him. He shaved his mustache for her, so you know he means it. She had to talk to Connor first. "I wahnt you to steh," Connor said in his dumb voice. He said Dean didn't deserve her because he's too unstable. Connor's not wrong! Dean is not reliable. He already left and came back. "I don't think he's changed," Connor said. Remember when Dean dumped her on her birthday and bounced? Connor hasn't, and neither has Caelynn. But Dean is so cuuuuute!
Dean's old friend Kristina went over to talk to him and figure out what was going on, and he told her about the ultimatum Dean gave her. She was appalled. "You are so selfish," she said. "Every time things get serious you run away." He said he was trying to work on that, but he literally just did that like two weeks ago, and Caelynn was so devastated. Caelynn went back over to talk to him, and Dean gave her his whole self-aware "I'm a piece of crap" spiel. But being self-aware doesn't absolve you of you the bad things you do. Dean really doesn't seem like a bad guy, but he really is a terrible boyfriend. He told Caelynn he wanted to make her happy because she makes him happy. And she fell for it. She agreed to go. They kissed, and the rest of the gang, including Connor, could see them. "Oh my God," they all said.
"F--- that," Connor said. He was even more blindsided than her. "My heart's being pulled to Dean for some reason," Caelynn told Connor. Caelynn lacks character. I bet by the time the reunion airs on Tuesday they'll have broken up. Although they're both immature, so they have something in common.
Hey, let's check in on Katie and Chris! Katie doesn't feel like she's getting enough from Chris. He doesn't express his feelings in a way that makes Katie feel secure. She needs him to take some initiative. Their date will make or break their relationship.
Back at the resort, Connor was crying. Caelynn didn't even say she was sorry as she was leaving. I'm telling you, low moral character.
Katie and Chris. Chris has walls up. He admits he hasn't been able to give her 100 percent. He's never been able to tell anyone he loved them. He is committed to her, and it's not her, it's him. He's trying to get there. He's not there yet, but he's getting there. Their relationship will move forward. Then they joined a wedding parade and dance with the bride and groom.
Matt Donald has a virgin edit. He can't stop talking about what his mom would think seeing him do all this sexy stuff, like get a massage from Sydney. Then a new girl, Revian, arrived. She was a night one girl from Colton's season. And she's going to be a night one girl here, too. Too late to come in now. The show is practically over. But she took Connor on the date because he's tall and handsome. Revian has more Instagram followers than the average night one cast-off because she was already an influencer before she went on the show.
Blake is still making his phony play for Kristina. She's like, "Show me you care." Demi and Kristian are having a hard time because Demi doesn't do PDA and Kristian is very flirty with all the other girls. Demi got a group date, and she didn't want to go because she was annoyed with Kristian. Demi is still harboring some fear and insecurity about being open with her sexuality. Understandable, Demi! It's a big step! And we all appreciate how open and honest you're being sharing all this with us.
Demi and Kristian's date was a sacred Aztec ceremony to unite their spirits and solidify their relationship. Kristian could sense that Demi was upset and asked her what was going on. Demi told her she doesn't like how touchy-feely Kristian is. Kristian said the touching isn't meant to be flirty or romantic, just affectionate. Demi said she wasn't comfortable being out, and Kristian said she got it. She went through the same thing, too. She didn't know how it was affecting Demi. "Why would I ever flirt with anybody when I have you?" Kristian said. Demi said she felt like she wasn't enough because she couldn't give Kristian the physical affection she needed. But Kristian was very sweet, and said Demi was the her top priority and she would do everything she could to make her feel comfortable. It felt like a real conversation between two people in a real relationship.
John Paul Jones threw a prom for Tayshia. Apparently no one asked her to prom in high school? How??? He put on a suit, and she wore a prom dress on the beach. She looked great. It was fun! Tayshia said she didn't go to prom because she was awkward and didn't talk to boys. A guy came and played saxophone and they slow danced. Then the rest of the couples joined them. It was so cute!
Blake's sudden single-minded focus on Kristina, who could be the mother of his children, is one of the more embarrassing developments of the season. What even is his goal here? Does he think getting engaged to Kristina will redeem him in the eyes of Bachelor Nation? Remember, at this point in filming, Blake probably still thought he'd look like the bad guy in the Caelynn drama. So he's making a desperate play for redemption, emphasis on desperate. Kristina doesn't even like him.
She told him she wasn't into him. "I did not expect this to go this way," he said. "Paradise sucks." Nothing has gone well for Blake all season. Brutal. You hate to see it. Kristina left. Hopefully she leaves this franchise for good. Blake left, too. Just devastated. "I learned a lot, but at what cost?" he sobbed.
The final two episodes of Bachelor in Paradise Season 6 will air Tuesday, Sept. 10 and Tuesday, Sept. 17 at 8/7c on ABC. It's available to stream on Hulu.