FX gave us a sneak peek of three teasers for the sixth season of American Horror Story earlier this week, but today we have the whole six-piece set. And true to form, it's hard to make heads or tails of what to expect from the super secretive upcoming season of Ryan Murphy's anthology horror. But let's do it anyway!
One of the three released earlier in the week, "What's Cooking" shows a desolate farmhouse chimney emitting smoke in the shape of the sixth-season logo. But now that we know the title of the teaser, it gives the smoke a whole new dimension. And that chainsaw firing up? Guess it's time to carve up dinner!
Ahh, finally a lovely family stroll between a mother, father and daughter. What a relaxi--GOOD GOD WHAT IS UP WITH THEIR EYES!?!? Are the possessed? Are they aliens? Are they zombies? Are they possessed alien zombies? Probably.
The funniest and most twisted of the bunch, "Post Op" shows some poor sap getting stapled up after some head surgery and a wise-cracking doctor telling him to "keep it dry." Yeah, I'm sure that's all it will take to keep that wound clean. This has that AHS: Asylum vibe, which is fine with me since that was one of the show's best seasons. Could we be headed back to Briarcliff Manor? Some have speculated that Murphy isn't saying much about Season 6 because it will work in previous seasons.
Fact: Cribs are scary because they usually contain babies, which are extremely mortifying. Here, Murphy takes the classic baby mobile and decorates it with meat hooks, knives and other tools of terror. And of course whatever demonspawn is actually in the crib reaches up its gruesome paw and grabs the knife. Thanks for the nightmares, Mr. Murphy. "Lullaby" suggests that a baby will be in the mix, and online chatter has predicted that the baby born in Season 1 will come into play here in Season 6.
Okay, so I'm never taking the stairs again. Is this the Murder House basement?
This one's actually somewhat beautiful! Provided your idea of beautiful includes creepy crawlies slinking around your head. The most baffling of the bunch, this doesn't appear to give any hint about the sixth season except that it will be nauseating. Also, leave it to Murphy to make a Coen Brothers reference and turn it gross.
The sheer breadth of these teasers and the super secretive nature of Season 6's theme doesn't give us a whole lot to go on in guessing what the next chapter of American Horror Story will be about. But is that the point? Could Season 6 be the broadest season of the series yet, covering all sorts of topics and themes from previous seasons? Your guess is as good as ours.
What do you think Season 6 will be about?
Season 6 of American Horror Story will premiere Wednesday, September 14 on FX.