With free-flowing booze, a lot less pressure than the Emmys and even more free-flowing booze, the 76th Annual Golden Globe Awards continued its tradition of being television's most fun awards ceremony. And the winner of the night was... all of us, for getting to hear the jokes that made it such a riot.
There was a surprising lack of Donald Trump-aimed humor at the ceremony, but that didn't mean there weren't plenty of laughs to go around. Hosts Andy Samberg, Killing Eve's Sandra Oh made it a point to prove you could get the audience to giggle without being mean — and that lead the way to a lot of love in the Beverly Hilton ballroom.
Here are the best quips from this year's Golden Globe Awards:
"One lucky audience member will host the Oscars," - Samberg and Oh kicked off the show with a zinger aimed at that other awards show that is just a few weeks away but hasn't found someone to emcee the ceremony.
"It's been said she makes Tom Hanks look like an asshole," Carell quipped again when speaking of Burnett's reputation for being one of the nicest people in show business.
Samberg and Oh played a quick montage of inspiring Golden Globes moments of the past. It consisted of two moments, when they each won their previous Globe awards. When the camera came back to them on stage they had this to say: "What? We said they inspired us. You want to see yourself up there, you host. We gave up our Christmas for this," because hosting is a sacrifice, folks.
"We both started our career in soft porn. We both lost our virginity in the back of an 82 Buick. We both like to sit on the washing machine during the spin cycle," Sam Rockwell and Allison Janney barbed as the second-best presenters of the night when they listed their dirty similarities.
"Oh my god, I cannot believe you're doing this. Are we stealing focus away from the next award?" Amy Poehler asked her fellow first-best presenter of the evening Maya Rudolph, who was holding a fake engagement ring. "Don't worry, it's just Best Screenplay," Rudolph answered. Sorry writers, but we'd love to see these two crack jokes all night.
"Here is the cast of This Is Us, so break out the tissues because you're going to want to masturbate to all of them," Oh said, proving being nice doesn't mean you can't also be a little dirty.