When Harry Trent runs afoul of some Rent-A-Cops, he escapes in the most sensible way: by blasting off into space in a stolen ship. There's just one thing he didn't count on: he can't return for five years. It's unclear why, something about elliptical orbits or something. Who are we, Galileo Brahe?? Fortunately, Harry uses the unforced time to better himself as a person, teach himself new skills, and broaden his mind. We're just kidding; he paints a face on his space-pillow and humps it. When Harry finally returns to Earth, it's a vastly different planet than the one he left behind. For one, everyone points at him and says "Hey there's the sicko that has sex with his pillow!" and "Don't get that pillow anywhere near me!" Also, some Pig-Men nuked the planet then enslaved the survivors. It's up to our hero, a vaguely British woman who's required by movie law to fall in love with him, a guy named Mad Dog, and the elderly version of our hero who occasionally narrates from the future, to stop the Pig-Men and restore order to the lost planet.
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