Hawkins' Hat

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Mrs. Hawkins is a perfectly good wife, but she will insist on going through Hawkins' pockets now and then in search of loose change and her ideas as to what constitutes loose change are liberal in the extreme. Hawkins knows her habit, but having been married some time he knows better than to start an argument. It is much easier to be diplomatic than debative and when he comes home from a poker party with a wad of greenbacks that would make a square meal for a goat he hides the money in his hat and goes to sleep to dream of more jackpots. Mrs. Hawkins knows that he has been playing poker and she appoints herself an investigating committee. There are no results, however, and she goes downstairs to superintend the getting of breakfast. A tramp applies for something to eat and his hat is such a scandal that she gives him the old one of Hawkins'. Then the nominal head of the house comes downstairs and misses the hat. The tale of charity is told and Hawkins sprints up the street. The tramp has sold the headgear to a second-hand man so Hawkins loses no time in looking up the old clo' man and making a dicker for the hat. The vendor of has-beens drives what he considers a shrewd bargain and Hawkins grabs the hat. When he snatches the lining out and draws out the roll of bills, well how would you feel yourself if you were that old clo' man?