Efficiency Edgar's Courtship

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Efficiency wins success in business; why not in love? Edgar Bumpus, a rising young man, applies this reasoning to his courtship of Mary Pierce. He first eliminates Wimple, his closest competitor, who plays a guitar, by learning to play a saxophone, which makes louder noise, and by sending Mary flowers and candy each time Wimple calls on her. The plan works O.K., until the saxophone disturbs Mr. Pierce's slumbers. He and Edgar clash and the latter is forbidden to visit Mary any more. Edgar employs a clipping bureau to send news items to Mr. Pierce which tells of the troubles young girls get into when their fathers refuse to let them have beaux. One eloped with a milkman; another disappeared. This has no effect upon Mr. Pierce, however, except to make him hate Edgar more. However, the youth's persistence finally wins Mary's love. Then Edgar plays his trump card. He gets Mary to sign a legal agreement to forfeit $10,000 to him, unless she marries him. The two then confront Mr. Pierce with this document. Rather than lose the money, he consents to lose his daughter, the only stipulation being that Edgar will throw away his saxophone. Thus efficiency triumphs.