Dirty Cop No Donut Reviews

"I got a gun! I got a badge! I'm the law — don't mess with me!" That's the mantra of psychotic Officer Friendly (Joel D. Wynkoop), whose drug-fueled, expletive-laced rampage drives this ultra low-budget mockumentary, an amalgam of TV's Cops, Abel Ferrara's BAD LIEUTENANT (1992) and MAN BITES DOG (1992). An unseen filmmaker, whom Friendly calls "college boy" and frequently berates, sits in the back of the patrol car or trails the uniformed menace to society over the course of one long, violent night. Friendly alternately discourses fairly rationally on the business of policing and mercilessly terrorizes hookers, shopkeepers, partying college students, crooked pawn shop owners and other miscreants. The out-of-control cop's worst outrages are reserved for a drug dealer named Coyote and serial sex offender Tommy (Bill Cassinelli): He forces Coyote to snort coke until he has a seizure, then steals the rest of his stash and leaves him convulsing on the floor; and makes Tommy castrate himself with a kitchen knife. Friendly also locks a vagrant in his trunk and later dumps the unconscious guy by the roadside, and reprimands a drunk driver by demolishing her car with a baseball bat. Wynkoop's performance is actually quite accomplished and well-sustained, even if it does sometimes evoke South Park's Cartman, squealing "You must obey my authori-tay!" But the film itself has no aspirations beyond cheap shocks, notwithstanding the tongue-in-cheek closing credits that detail the post-film fates of Friendly (who, it turns out, isn't exactly what he seems) and his victims. Tommy has corrective surgery and embarks on a career as a novelty porn star (á la John Wayne Bobbitt), Coyote becomes an anti-drug spokesman, and so on. Production values are low — though, mercifully, the sound recording is clear — and overall the project smacks of juvenile hijinks, even though writer/producer/director/cinematographer Tim Ritter has been making films since the mid-'80s.