A Birthday Affair

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The celebration of Smith's birthday is to be an event. Mrs. Smith, with social aspirations, plans big things and taxes her ever-patient husband to the extent of his bank account. The final achievement of the silver candelabra, which, from its prominent berth in a house-furnisher's window had dazzled Mrs. Smith's eyes for months, now called for many other rare and costly furnishings, for would not a thirty-dollar candelabra look out of place set on cheap and mended linen, and who would care to arouse the curiosity of the guests with expensive table linen over a rickety dining table. It is finally decided to employ two liveried servants, a French chef, et al., until Smith finally expresses the wish that he had never been born. But, then, Mrs. Smith has social aspirations. The invitations are written and ready to mail. Mrs. Gotrox, Mrs. Richley and others have been invited, and Mrs. Smith's fluttering heart is carried high on the hopes of social ascension. Smith starts out to mail the invitations, but, while en route, meets an old college pal, and, well, one drink called for another, and the invitations are forgotten. The day arrives, drags painfully towards the hour. Smith hurries home from work and begins an elaborate toilet. After some painful wrestling with the rented dress suit. Smith stands before his mirror to admire the immaculate effect. He turns to an old coat dropped carelessly on the floor, when lo! the invitations which he had forgotten to mail drop from his pocket and on the floor. A tragedy is averted by the appearance of Mrs. Smith in the new gown, and Smith barely succeeds in stowing the accusing missives in his pocket. He makes an excuse to leave the house for a moment and runs out into the street. He gets an idea and hurries to a messenger station. From there he dispatches regrets from all the guests and hurries home. He arrives there during the invasion of messenger boys, each bearing regrets from the invited guests. Mrs. Smith wilts as she opens each one and drops into a chair on reading the final one, a picture of hopeless despair. Smith now seeks to redeem himself. He blusters and storms about, and finally hits on a scheme. The viands shall not be wasted. He'll invite the neighbors. A hurried canvas of the neighborhood, in which the local butcher, a policeman, a hungry tramp and others are ushered into, service, brings the desired result. All finally gather around the table, and though Mrs. Smith's social star burns dimly, there is some satisfaction, of course, in dazzling her neighbors.