No truer words were ever spoken by Dean than, "I love me some pie." Sadly, his quest for a slice of flaky pastry is often thwarted, sometimes by people who do not understand the importance of fetching said pie or by urgent demon-hunting duties. Running a close second to pie in Dean's cholesterol-clogged heart is a nice, greasy burger, preferably from Biggerson's. We support Dean's appetite for all that is fattening, just as long as he stays away from those turducken slammers, even if they are like the "perfect storm of the top three edible birds."

The adorably quirky mother-daughter team, much like hummingbirds, require a high-calorie diet devoid of any pesky nutrients to maintain normal function. Of course, what's "normal" for the two fastest mouths in the greater New England area is rapid-fire diatribes (fueled by coffee), regular freak-outs, insanely poor coordination (fueled by takeout) and classic movie nights (fueled by their weight in junk food). Luke's Diner is a frequent contributor of caffeine, pie and other staples. Perhaps the biggest test of the Gilmores' food-consumption capacity was the year they had to fit four Thanksgiving dinners into one day.

Don't be fooled by Joey's goofy demeanor. This Italian American actor means business when it comes to eating. His one rule is simple: Joey doesn't share food! And woe to the fool who dares to take a nibble from his plate. Joey lives to eat, whether it's a meatball sandwich, the "Joey Special" (two pizzas) or Thanksgiving dinner, which requires special Thanksgiving pants. This guy will make sacrifices for food also, like that time the fridge broke so of course he ate everything before it could go bad. But the big question is, would he give up food for sex? Or vice versa? Thedebate rages on.

The Simpsons patriarch's beverage of choice is Duff beer, which he'll drink anywhere, including his favorite watering hole, Moe's Tavern. But when it comes to food, Homer can't say no and has the pot belly to prove it. Instead, any number of things make Homer say "Mmm," including donuts (with sprinkles!), fried chicken, all pork products and even soylent green. As one would expect, this indescriminate gluttony has caused occasional obesity problems that no dialing wand could fix.

The Ukrainian-English clone led a very sheltered life, having been raised in a convent and then by abusive Prolethean extremists. Is it any wonder that once she's exposed to the great big, wide world that she savors every glorious bite of food that she encounters? Helena's palate is indiscriminate and encompasses simple foods as well as unusual combinations: Jell-O (with extra sugar), sardines with mustard, marshmallows by the handful and every cocktail you can dream up. And although her table manners may appear to be rather uncouth — over-stuffing her mouth till it overflows and using her hands instead of utensils — we could all learn something from her childlike, unrivaled joy of living in the moment from her. Oh, and Helena's reverse-grip method of eating a simple chicken leg is a revelation. We'll have what she's having.

Foie gras au torchon with a late harvest Vidal sauce and figs. Langue d’agneau en papillotte served with a sauce of duxelles and oyster mushrooms. Ossobucco locally sourced from a muralist's calf (leg that is, not a baby cow). These are just a few of the specialties created and consumed by forensic psychiatrist Dr. Lecter, who is a culinarian of the highest order. He takes great pains to prepare perfect meals of far-flung cuisines, ranging from classical French and Japanese to flavorful Indian fare. And while the delicately balanced presentation and impeccable wine pairings are impressive, the work begins far, far earlier with the stalking, hunting and then slaughtering of each protein. Sure, Lecter may be a serial killer who specializes in cannibalizing his victims, but in his own way, he elevates their fleshy imperfection (he "eats the rude" as a general rule) to an artistic level, and therefore serves man.

Usagi may have befriended a talking cat and can transform into a magical soldier who defends the Solar System, but in other ways, she's just a typical Asian teenager with a bottomless stomach. Although her favorites are sweets like jellies and cake, she won't say no to savory dumplings, ramen or rice dishes. Sometimes, she'll even forego chopsticks (such slow implements!) in order to doublefist food and stuff her cheeks chipmunk-style. Gaining weight is not really an issue (although there was that disturbing time when she gained half a pound), which is fortunate since this teen can literally clear out a fridge when she's trying to eat her problems away.

At first, sending a weekly e-mail ranking the local pizza places might sound like a total waste of time, but in a neighborhood like Brooklyn, where the residents take their Italian food veryseriously, Boyle is really doing God’s work. In addition to his newsletter, Boyle also has an impressive food blog that is so good even the normally stoic Captain Holt gave him props for teaching him “how food tells a story.” And Boyle isn’t just all talk. In addition to being a food critic, this self-proclaimed foodie is also a whiz in the kitchen, as evidenced when he tried to teach Capt. Holt how to cook breakfast.

Sussing out liars sure gives you an appetite... or is it the other way around? Dr. Lightman, a psychologist who interprets body language and microexpressions, always seems to be eating, and eating rather messily and loudly at that. Talking with his mouth full of potato chips or hot dogs may seem like he's not taking his work seriously, but secretly, he's throwing his subjects off their game, hoping to get them to reveal their true motives. His favorite food? Pickles! After all not only are they tasty and provide a satisfying crunch, but they're also hilarious.

In Scandal's fourth season, Mellie really let go of her inhibitions (and her dietary restraints). After the death of her son, "Smelly Mellie" decided there was no better cure for grief than eating her feelings. Fried chicken, chips, cereal straight out of the box — Mellie ate it all. Literally. "The booze was fake, but the food was real!" Young has admitted.

This cunningly cute little dude is a member of the most long-lived alien races, possibly pre-dating the Big Bang. Lord Nibbler was born in 274 B.C. The secret to his longevity may be the incredibly efficient way Nibblonians consume food. Nibbler is carnivorous and able to eat animals several times his own body mass, ranging from multiple live chickens to animals the size of dinosaurs, digesting them instantly. Where does it all go? Apparently he excretes dark matter, a super-heavy compressed waste, that is used as starship fuel.

Zoinks! Like, Scoob will do anything for a Scooby snack, but it doesn't end there. The pooch and his best pal Shaggy have a particular craving when it comes to solving crimes. In the middle of chasing a ghost or other creepy critter, sandwiches are king. And while an extra-long hero will do the trick, nothing beats a genuine Shaggy sandwich: a multi-tiered bread, meat, lettuce and condiment extravaganza, assembled by dovetail-shuffling the ingredients together. Well, nothing except a ">Super Shaggy sandwich, a double-triple-decker sardine, marshmallow and fudge monstrosity... topped with an olive.

Alex is not as dumb as she is and her appetite isn't as small as you think. Sure, she eats ribs when she's drunk, but she has always stuffed her face like a freakin' horse. That's because she got her insatiable Serbian appetite and love of meat from her mother, and has never met a food she won't devour with high frequency. Unfortunately, she might also stiff you with the check for her second waffle and first omelette.