When Emmy Winners Attack!

OK, first off, how freakin' hilarious was The Bachelor Monday night? Holy human desperation, I loved it! And Hillary from my hometown made the first cut. Represent, Philly 'ho!
Now that we have that out of the way, let's talk last week's Emmys. Yes, the in-the-round stage was a hot circular mess and why so many statues went to TV-movies, I'll never know. It's not like any of the good Sci Fi Originals get nominated. Hello, Mansquito? So robbed. But Seacrest didn't totally suck, the opening Family Guy number was inspired and some of the winners were deserving.
So if you're like me and think you suffered a stroke that made the word Gandolfini sound like " Spader," or ya can't get your head around anyone from Torque ever winning anything, you might want to grab the champs on DVD. Turns out that the slights are, in fact, slight.
Ugly Betty - Much like Betty's Guadalajara poncho, you could spot America Ferrera's Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy win coming from a mile away. Who else was brave enough to play hideous, but gifted enough to make us see past the braces, bangs and brutal outfits? Check out the final three episodes of season one's Bettyfied Edition and tell me you didn't want to hurt Henry for breaking her heart.
Brothers & Sisters - I'm not touching Sally Field's acceptance speech with a hundred-foot "you go girl!" but I will say that my gasp of delight at her name being called woke Pepito the Wonder Chihuahua from his snoring slumber. (Seriously, if it's not the Idol finale, he's all about the siesta.) Should Edie Falco have taken the Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama? Pop in the Complete First Season's Thanksgiving episode, "Mistakes Were Made, Part II" and wait for the letter from the dead Walker dad to be read. God bless you, Jon Robin Baitz and Greg Berlanti!
30 Rock - Hell to the holla! I've watched the Complete First Season straight through twice since it came out and if I hadn't lent it to my deputy editor, I'd be gearing up for round 3. Utterly quotable, rewatchable like few others AND smart, smart, smart. That Outstanding Comedy Series statue more than makes up for Alec Baldwin's Lead Actor loss.
My Name is Earl - Nowhere near 30 Rock in the sophisticated satire department for sure, but you know what? I don't want to set myself ablaze in protest of Jaime Pressly's Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy victory over Vanessa Williams and her weird green feather dress. The girl is a scream as white-trash Joy and if you think I'm yankin' yer knickers, the Complete Second Season set is nothing but proof as Earl's ex makes every wrong move to stay out of jail for stealing a delivery truck. Pressly's scenes with Marlee Matlin's court-ordered attorney alone are enough to make you forget Jason Lee's mustache. Anyone who can do that deserves a trophy. (Enjoy it now, blondie. Next year it's Ana Ortiz for this Thursday's second-season opener or I'm shooting my TV.)
Grey's Anatomy - Katherine Heigl may need to shut her yap about T.R. Knight and Isaiah Washyourmouthout, but she worked that grief over Denny's death like a pro. Check out the Seriously Extended third-season set for Izzie's early scenes. Killer. Yet still a hard-earned win, considering that her costar Chandra Wilson could read the warning on a pack of smokes and own the room..
And now for Emmy's "WTF?" Hall of Fame
Boston Legal - Let me just say that BL is not the Wings of legal shows. Thought it was, especially after James Spader's Best Actor in a Drama win, when I uttered, wide-eyed, to a now completely schized-out Pepito the Wonder Chihuahua, "that show is still on?!" Who knew? So I cracked open the third season DVD set and found myself roped right in. And while, yes, the show is snappy as all get out, giving Spader props for being smug and wearing a suit over James Gandolfini's spectacular finishing act is an organized crime even Tony Soprano wouldn't want a part of.
Entourage - Piven? Really? Please, pick any episode from How I Met Your Mother's second season and you'll see why we should all be pissed that Neil Patrick Harris didn't take home that Outstanding Supporting Actor knick-knack.
Extras - Ricky Gervais didn't bother to show up for his Best Actor in a Comedy award, so I'm won't even bother discussing the fact that 12 episodes of brilliance does not equal 24 episodes of his U.S. counterpart Steve Carell. Sorry, Rick. But until you pull off anything like the Prison Mike rap in "The Convict" episode of The Office's season 3 set, this twist was wickety wack, yo.
So, am I off? Or are ya picking up what I'm putting down here? Fire away in that handy dandy comments field.
Next week: Octoberfestwhat scary shows should we be watching with the lights on?
Until then, don't hog the remote.