Our top moments of the week:
11. Best Explanation: Remember when Gwen Stefani Adele Dazeem-ed Stephen Colbert's name at the Emmys? According to Adam Levine, Stefani was super-nervous backstage, even after he offered a helpful mnemonic device. "We're going up there, and the whole time she's like, 'I can't pronounce Colbert. I can't pronounce it,'" Levine says on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. "I was like, 'If he wins, think: cold bear.'" Of course, Stefani went with Colbort and was "mortified," but Adam helped her see the silver lining. "I was like, 'Listen, Jimmy turned it into a bit. It's a win for everyone,'" he says. Except The Colbort Report.
10. Worst Surprise: After their bank robbery-gone-bad on last week's Graceland, Charlie is eager to hear from Amber and settle the score. Fortunately, she gets a call from Amber, who wants to make amends and tells Charlie to meet her at a specific time and place. However, en route to their meeting place, Charlie ends up stuck behind a van stopped on a narrow street. Just when the traffic gets moving again, a huge truck comes barreling into the side of her car, leaving her unconscious so that Amber and her cronies who were in the van can kidnap Charlie. So much for making up!
9. Best Easy Laughs: We sometimes get angry with how much Big Brother recycles competitions from season to season, but we always look forward to one: The slippery endurance race. The competition is designed to be nearly impossible, challenging contestants to transport tiny cups of liquid from one container to another while traversing a super slick walkway. The result? Everyone busts their ass! Although Nicole and Victoria have plenty of trouble, surprisingly it is Derrick who seems to have the hardest time staying on his feet. (Seriously, some of those falls look like they could have broken something!) Fortunately, Derrick is still able to win $5,000. No pain, no gain — and no fun!
8. Worst Way to Go: The League loses one of its own in the show's Season 6 premiere when longtime member Ted (guest star Adam Brody) dies — but not at all in the way fans would expect. After Kevin came in last place in last year's fantasy football league, Ted deems him the new Andre while video chatting with the rest of the group while walking to a charity gala to benefit AIDS, a disease that Ted suffers from. Unfortunately, Ted is so focused on smack-talking that he steps into the cross walk and is violently struck by a car and killed. Apparently, the powers that be at Fox finally killed off Seth Cohen after all!
7. Best Celebration of Dance: On the season finale of So You Think You Can Dance, a killer number set to The Temper Trap's "Sweet Disposition," exemplifies the positive power of dance. The routine begins with the voiceover, We see the Top 10 and a handful of All-Stars as commuters at a train station, practicing simple acts of kindness that coalesce into a soaring group dance. It ends with the words, "Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. That's all we'll ever have." It's clear at that point that we've all already won, long before the results name Ricky the Season 11 champ.
6. Worst Reveal: Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Keeping Up with the Kardashians season finale is supposed to be all about Kim and her special day. We get it. However, her sister Kourtney steals a little bit of her thunder when she drops the bomb to partner Scott Disick that she is pregnant with their third child. Sadly, Lord Disick is less than thrilled about the news, particularly that she waited to tell him. "I can't handle all this responsibility," he says. "I just can't handle any more kids." So should we just sign the kid up for therapy now or what?
5. Best Reveal: On Masters of Sex, Frank — Bill's out-of-town med school friend from whom he had supposedly "drifted apart" and his wife Pauline drop by for Bill's infertility treatment. When the couple don't leave town afterward, Frank reveals to Bill that they're temporarily moving to St. Louis not just for the treatment, but so Frank can make amends with his estranged brother: Bill. "I spent most of my life pretending you didn't exist. People would ask me; I'd tell them I'm an only child," he says, before reaching out for his hand. "I want my brother back." Bill's backstory finally? Yes, please!
4. Best and Worst Meet-Cutes: Doctor Who tackles morality when The Doctor communes with a dalek to show the beauty of the universe — the birth of stars and such — but inadvertently also reveals his longstanding loathing and destruction of daleks. This ability to hate so purely prompts the dalek to pronounce the Time Lord "a good dalek," which is damning praise indeed. Meanwhile, Clara begins to date the new math teacher (and future companion) Danny Pink, an ex-soldier whose traumatic past reveals itself in charming social awkwardness but also solitary fits of weeping. And while Clara has nothing against soldiers, the Doctor certainly (and hypocritically) does!
3. Best Battle of the Bulge: At the insistence of his show's female staffers, Conan O'Brien works up the nerve to ask Justin Theroux about his impressive, uh, jogging on The Leftovers. "Was there enhancement going on there?" O'Brien inquires. "Did you put a clock down there?" Just drop the "L," Coco. After multiple facepalms, Theroux, good-naturedly explains that his situation requires extra packaging. "There's one [jogging scene] in the pilot episode and there's one we did much later," he says. "When I went to get my wardrobe for the second jogging scene way later, there was my jogging pants and there was two pairs of underwear in the dressing room. ... And they were like, 'They want you to wear them both.'" Is this the protocol on Mad Men too?
2. Worst Nightmare: It's hard to pick the most ridiculous moment from Lifetime's Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story, but one that certainly tops the list is when Dustin Diamond — like his character Screech —daydreams of being the cast hunk. As portrayed by Sam Kindseth, Dustin, having just seen Mario Lopez make out with a fan, imagines himself disrobing and walking into a hot tub full of women. Forget the fact that the Screech-like daydream is bizarre enough, but we had to "time out" for a good 10 minutes to recover from the CGI muscles and Photoshopped body. Is there a Razzie for Worst Special Effects?
1. Best and Worst Partnership: On The Colbert Report, dreams really do come true! When Stephen Colbert proclaims how much he wishes Frank Underwood was a real person, House of Cards star Kevin Spacey suddenly appears completely in character — Southern drawl and all. The two exchange a few pleasantries, such as President Underwood's plan to binge-watch The Colbert Report from Episode 1 once it's wrapped, before diving into Colbert's future plans. "You've proven that a charming South Carolinian can rise quickly in Washington D.C. I mean maybe I'll head down there," he says. Underwood offers to give Colbert a "special tour" of the capital. "Just take the last train down. I'll meet you on the edge of the platform," Underwood tells him. Gee, we wonder how that will turn out.
What were your top moments?