Bachelor in Paradise Was a Lot of Waiting to Get to DeMario's Sit-Down

For the last two months, DeMario Jackson has been telling his side of the Bachelor in Paradise scandal story to anyone who'll listen. But Tuesday's sit-down with Chris Harrison will have to be his final word, because I cannot keep writing about this. It's draining. When Chris Harrison said "journalism is dead," it became clear that dark, depressing absurdity of this whole situation will never be solved, only endured. DeMario didn't say anything he hadn't already said in this myriad other media appearances. It's time for him to spend some time with his family and stay off TV for awhile. He may be innocent of wrongdoing, but he's not innocent of being self-aggrandizing or unlikable.

But before we got to that, we had to get through the rest of the regular BiP shenanigans. Kristina was still crying over Dean, but it became clear that if he doesn't give her a rose, she'll be going home. And he might not, even though she gave him a rose at the previous rose ceremony. That was it for them in this episode, though. That triangle will be dealt with later.

Raven said she wanted to keep pursuing Adam, but then Sarah Vendal from Nick's season came in, which stirred up some drama. During the shutdown, Raven and Sarah spent a night with Adam in Dallas, and in the morning Raven saw them cuddling. Cuddling! Raven and Sarah may not be friends for long. Raven gave Sarah the hard sell about Ben, since she wants Adam for herself. Sarah tried to give Ben a shot, but then Ben just talked about his dog. What's Ben's deal? Is he playing a character? If he is, he needs a new one.

Sarah asked Adam. Raven shot daggers out of her eyes. Adam wanted to look at Raven, but he didn't. Adam has two girls into him. He said he tends to fall for women who don't reciprocate his feelings. So he's gonna ride it out. They're cute together.

Bartender Wells asked Danielle if there's anyone in Paradise for him. She said there was nobody of interest to her. So they made a pact to get married in five years if they're still single. Why is Wells the bartender? I don't really get it. Is it just because he's not jacked and is good at talking to people? Is Wells responsible for enforcing the two-drinks-per-hour rule? That's a lot of responsibility to give to someone who isn't even really a bartender. The Playa Escondida staff should unionize to keep scabs like Wells from taking their jobs. Anyway, she's kinda into Wells. They seem like a pretty natural couple, actually, even though they already know each other from before the show.

Bachelor in Paradise: Do You Still Want Dean to Be The Bachelor Even Though He's a Dog?

Nobody is interested in Lacey. I get it. But then she got a date card, so guys were obligated to talk to her. She asked out Diggy, who didn't have anything else going on. Jorge, the bartender whose job Wells came across the border and stole, took them on a romantic horseback tour to a beautiful private beach. It was kinda awkward having Jorge there after awhile, but he facilitated a nice makeout sesh.

Wells and Danielle actually went out on one date four years ago, and then became friends. Wells didn't want to blow up the friendship by trying to take it to another level, even though he's into her. And Danielle got an opportunity to work in Africa, so she decided to leave.

Diggy and Lacey had a good date, and Lacey said "nothing could go wrong." But then Dominique showed up. Apparently she was on Nick's season, but I don't remember her at all. Did she get cut in like the second episode? Anyway, she and Diggy had immediate sparks. So Lacey was down on herself in a really entitled way again. She's no fun.

Dom of course asked Diggy. They probably slid into each others' DMs weeks before this. Two dates in one day! Diggy's a lucky man. He told Dom that he and Lacey were on different wavelengths. Their date went really well.

Meanwhile, Taylor put on her therapist hat and let Lacey cry about how everyone needs to stop matchmaking and how no one cares about how she feels. But Taylor couldn't resist the urge to talk s--- about Lacey in her confessional. Taylor should never be a therapist. She spent all that money on a fancy degree from Johns Hopkins for nothing.

Danielle felt sad about leaving, and sad about how lonely she is. She hasn't had a serious relationship since her fiancé died six years ago. Everyone likes Danielle. She's a good one. She could have seen herself staying in Paradise for Wells, but the timing wasn't right. Wells walked her out. He told her "if anyone deserved to find someone here, it's you." And they kissed. Awww. Danielle was surprised! They'll have some stuff to talk about when she gets back from Kenya.

That ended the episode proper. The last 50 minutes was an in-studio segment, with the last 20 devoted to DeMario.

Cast members Derek, Raven, Jasmine, Diggy and Robby were in the house. After some clips that showed Corinne and DeMario getting into the pool, then a montage of the fake news media's reports on the scandal, back in the studio, the contestants said that there didn't seem to be anything wrong between DeMario and Corinne. They were shocked when they found out the show was getting shut down. They said that news reports weren't fair to DeMario, and so Raven and Jasmine went public to defend him. They weren't against Corinne, but DeMario was the one getting the worst of it. Basically all the same stuff we heard last week of contestants absolving the production of any responsibility.

The segment was filler, as was the check-in with Bachelor in Paradise couples past (which was out of date, as Jade and Tanner had their baby last week), as was the gender reveal of Evan and Carly's baby. The show knew that it was all filler, because there wasn't even a tease for it until the commercial break right before it happened. The news was already out there. It's a girl.

The talk about Evan "escaping the friendzone" was gross. "You just wore her down," Chris laughed. Don't be like Evan, guys. They found out while they were in Mexico for the wedding, which is cute. "These Bass fish can swim," said Evan, which is not cute.

It sucked that the show surprised me with an unexpected Carly and Evan segment when I just wanted to get this DeMario thing over with.

He came out, and said that the last couple of months have been really hard on him and his family. He recounted the first time he met Corinne on the first day of filming. Chris asked what happened, and he said they got "turnt up." They started drinking, and Corinne suggested they go to the pool, which got a little "intense," by which he meant she put her genitals in his face (that linked in-depth, nearly two-hour interview with E! News is actually still the definitive version of DeMario's side of the story). The next day, things were fine, he said, until an executive producer told him a "third party" -- a producer who didn't see the encounter -- had filed a complaint. He said he felt bad that the show was getting shut down and the crew wouldn't be getting paid.

"Did you have any idea what you were going home to?" Chris asked. DeMario said he even sent Corinne a jokey message about how they "broke Paradise," not having any clue about how serious things were going to get. He didn't know the gravity of the situation. Then Chris cut to a video of "everything [DeMario] had to deal with." The show still has DeMario's back to a degree. DeMario had tears in his eyes while he was watching it. He said the low point was when he read an article that said he pulled a limp Corinne out of the pool and sex with her while producers filmed it. That never happened. The Daily Mail reported that, and the Daily Mail is not a reputable publication. Do not ever trust anything you read on the Daily Mail.

"How did you feel about Corinne in all of this?" Chris asked. DeMario wished he could have talked to her, and felt bad that she got slutshamed.

He said the next thing for DeMario is to try to move on from this. I feel for DeMario and his poor mother. If I were in this kind of situation, I would turn to family, friends and Kanye West, too. The best thing for DeMario now would to let this be the final word and then retreat. He's never going to look this good again, so let this be the last thing people remember.

Next week is Corinne's sit-down, which actually will be illuminating and important. Unlike DeMario, she hasn't talked publicly at all. She's the only person whose word matters at this point. If she says nothing happened, we're going to have to accept that nothing happened, and then we can move on from this ugly ordeal.

Bachelor in Paradise airs Mondays and Tuesdays at 8/7c on ABC.