Schitt's Creek has brought so many gifts into our lives since it premiered in 2015: David Rose's (Daniel Levy) sweater collection, multiple homages to Tina Turner, the incredible way Catherine O'Hara pronounces the word "baby." But the best thing the PopTV comedy gave us this season was, without a doubt, "A Little Bit Alexis," the long-lost pop single from former socialite Alexis Rose (Annie Murphy).
The song, which was the theme to Alexis' "critically reviewed" reality show of the same name, is what Alexis chooses to audition with for her mother Moira's (O'Hara) local production of Cabaret. That's already funny since the song is pretty much the antithesis of Sally Bowles, but Alexis' performance of it is truly one of the greatest bits of comedy I've been blessed enough to witness over the past nine months. Neither a great singer nor a great dancer, but completely oblivious to both those facts, Alexis sings lines like, "I'm a Prada handbag / I'm a naughty elf / I'm a little bit 'go girl!' / When I touch myself" with such self-seriousness, all while writhing around slightly offbeat, that it's impossible not to feel as much joy at this audition as Moira feels secondhand embarrassment.
"A Little Bit Alexis" was far from the only great original song we got this television season (The Other Two gave us countless spot-on spoofs of young Bieber-esque bops that we won't soon get out of our heads), but what truly made the Schitt's Creek single stand above the rest is the fact that the song is also a bona fide BANGER.
Drawing inspiration from Britney Spears (the influence of "Work Bitch" is particularly obvious), "A Little Bit Alexis" completely stands on its own as an irresistibly catchy pop song. Murphy wrote the track with her husband, Menno Versteeg, who's in the Canadian band Hollerado, and their friend and Versteeg's bandmate Nixon Boyd. Their goals were to use the lyrics to detail Alexis' previous life as a wild, jet-setting socialite and also deliver something that could pass for an early 2000s pop hit. "We really wanted to slowly drive people insane while forcing them to dance," Murphy told Billboard earlier this year.
The full-length track, which was released on Spotify complete with deliciously authentic album art (The Ashlee Simpson Show's impact, my god), is absolute perfection from start to finish, making it difficult to single out the song's most defining moment. There's the part when the music builds and builds but instead of a beat drop at the climax, we're rewarded with Alexis' signature "Ew, David!" There's the way her voice gets so low when she talk-sings the titular phrase in each chorus. And of course, there's Alexis' declaration that "Everybody's got a stalker / everybody's got a horse." If that isn't iconic, I don't know what is anymore.
But while all of these are examples of genius comedy, I can't emphasize enough how much this track truly does slap. When I threw myself a birthday party shortly after this Schitt's Creek episode aired, I played "A Little Bit Alexis" and soon was surrounded by a small crowd dancing to the song as though it was just another Britney or Carly track without having any clue that it was actually from a cult Canadian comedy.
"A Little Bit Alexis" lives precisely on the border between ironic parody and a pop song one can enjoy in complete earnest. That's probably why it started creeping up the iTunes U.S. soundtracks chart before the episode even premiered stateside. (It eventually hit No. 13 in the U.S. and made it to No. 7 in Canada.) That's also why I will feel no shame when I blast this at my upcoming wedding reception, awkwardly shimmying like my new pop hero. Because if there's one thing Alexis Rose has taught me, it's that you can sell any performance as long as you do it with conviction and a little bit Alexis.
Vroom, vroom, bitches.
Because this is such a competitive category, TV Guide wanted to take this opportunity to shout-out all the runners-up who just barely missed out on the honor of Best Song: Real Housewives of New Jersey's Milania's first single "Grow Up," which proved you can only sing one note and still deliver a genuine bop; The Other Two's pop parody "Stink," which perfectly straddled the line between over-the-top icky and radio-ready; and Hannah G.'s rap on The Bachelor, which made us unsure if we ever want to hear music again.