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Stranger Things: If These New Season 3 Characters Are Legit, Here's Who Should Play Them

The descriptions sure are... interesting

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Amanda Bell

The internet sleuthing that was done ahead of Stranger Things' second season was pretty outstanding, even if the Netflix show's sophomore run was still jam-packed with enough surprises and throwback tributes to keep it interesting. So, when it comes to rumored casting calls and choice plot details, nothing can be taken for granted (well, except that troubling buzz about the Duffer Brothers leaving; that's been point-blank dispelled by the streaming service).

The latest comes from The Hashtag Show (via ScreenRant) and claims that there will be at least three new characters joining the show for the third season: a smarmy mayor, a reporter with sensitivity issues, and a sweet old lady who gardens and may or may not secretly be shilling for the Upside Down. Absent any confirmation from Netflix, of course, we have to take the story with a grain of salt, but since it's always fun to play the casting game, here's who we think should play each potential new character.

"Mayor Larry Kline"

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Gabriel Olsen, Getty Images

Described as a man in his 40s to 60s who embodies the prototypical '80s "slick politician" sort -- that is, "pathetic and driven only by his own interests" -- who doesn't think of Jon Hamm right off the bat? His work onMad Men certainly showed us that he can play self-interested scuzzball without even trying, and his brief stint on Black Mirror certainly betrayed some pitiable personality traits tucked beneath all that rugged handsomeness. Besides, he's already kind of a company man thanks to his recurring role on The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, and the only thing that's really missing from his resume is some '80s sci-fi adventuring.

"Bruce"

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Bruce Glikas, Bruce Glikas/FilmMagic

Here's a newscaster you wouldn't want breaking your case, so to speak. "Bruce" is said to be a middle-aged reporter who's both "bedraggled" and dismissive of the opposite sex. And, well, it's been a while since we've gotten to see Jason Alexander lay his sickening schtick (a la Seinfeld and Pretty Woman) on thick, but he still seems like a perfect match for this descriptor. Off-screen, he's probably a gem, but on-screen, he can be the creepiest of goobers.

"Patricia Brown"

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Leon Bennett, WireImage

Perhaps the most intriguing of the new bunch, Miss Patricia is said to be a woman in her twilight years who likes to spend time cultivating her garden but who may (major question mark there) also have a hand in the stranger elements of the town of Hawkins, Indiana. Anyone else thinking Cecily Tyson for this? After all, she is exactly the kind of adorable little lady you wouldn't expect to have a dangerous side, but the caliber of actress who could just as easily pull it off.

Stranger Things' third season is expected to bow in 2019.