Two and a Half Men2003 | TV Show

Cast & Crew  |  Episode Guide

A hit sitcom built on often-raunchy material, starring Charlie Sheen and, later, Ashton Kutcher begins with the premise of a Malibu bachelor (Sheen) whose life is disrupted when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move in with him. In the ninth season, Kutc (more…)

Premiered: September 22, 2003

Rating: TV-PG

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Sun Feb 1 1:00am
I Merely Slept With a Commie(Season 4, Episode 17) FX-E

Evelyn complains about the lack of mourning at a friend's funeral, leading Charlie and Alan to be brutally honest with her about what hers could be like because of how she treats people. But they discover that not everyone feels the same way about her when (more…)

Sun Feb 1 1:30am
It Never Rains in Hooterville(Season 4, Episode 18) FX-E

When Jake takes down his Harry Potter posters and replaces them with pictures of women, Alan feels like he's losing his little boy and has a midlife crisis. Rodney: Frankie Jay Allison. Detective: Ben Hermes. Kandi: April Bowlby.

Sun Feb 1 4:00am
Smooth as a Ken Doll(Season 4, Episode 19) FX-E

As Judith and Herb's wedding day nears, Charlie befriends Herb's sister. Myra: Judy Greer. Bethany: Sara Erikson. Herb: Ryan Stiles.

Sun Feb 1 4:30am
Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot(Season 4, Episode 20) FX-E

Judith's wedding approaches and Alan prepares Jake for the event. Meanwhile, Charlie continues his romance with Myra (Judy Greer), Herb's sister. Shannon: Deirdre Lovejoy. Tailor: Avner Garbi. Minister: Bob Rumnock.

Mon Feb 2 4:00pm
Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous(Season 4, Episode 21) FX-E

Alan befriends a single gay father (Matt Roth), which prompts Alan and Charlie to reexamine their sexual identities. Meanwhile, Jake develops a crush on the man's daughter (Kay Panabaker). Dr. Freeman: Jayne Lynch.

Mon Feb 2 4:30pm
Mr. McGlue's Feedbag(Season 4, Episode 22) FX-E

Charlie takes Jake to the track, where Jake comes into some serious winnings. Meanwhile, Alan is stuck at the Department of Motor Vehicles. Petey: Joel Murray. Lena: Andrea Savage. Jeanie: Nadine Ellis.

Mon Feb 2 5:00pm
Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin(Season 4, Episode 23) FX-E

A handyman (Enrique Iglesias) working at the house steals Charlie's latest lover. Chloe: Rachel Cannon.

Mon Feb 2 5:30pm
Prostitutes and Gelato(Season 4, Episode 24) FX-E

As the fourth season ends, Alan and Charlie's father issues surface when Evelyn's new boyfriend (Robert Wagner) befriends them and takes them to Vegas on his private jet. Hugo: Mike Connors. Rapper: Ian “Blaze” Kelly. Referee: Bob Rusch. Tiffany: Jacqu (more…)

Tue Feb 3 4:00pm
Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin(Season 4, Episode 23) FX-E

A handyman (Enrique Iglesias) working at the house steals Charlie's latest lover. Chloe: Rachel Cannon.

Tue Feb 3 4:30pm
Prostitutes and Gelato(Season 4, Episode 24) FX-E

As the fourth season ends, Alan and Charlie's father issues surface when Evelyn's new boyfriend (Robert Wagner) befriends them and takes them to Vegas on his private jet. Hugo: Mike Connors. Rapper: Ian “Blaze” Kelly. Referee: Bob Rusch. Tiffany: Jacqu (more…)

Wed Feb 4 5:00pm
Large Birds, Spiders and Mom(Season 5, Episode 1) FX-E

Alan and Charlie do their best to get Jake ready for his first day of junior high, but they end up doing more harm than good. Mike: Brian Turk. Julie: Monica Young. Dr. Pranjeep: Kris Iyer.

Wed Feb 4 5:30pm
Media Room Slash Dungeon(Season 5, Episode 2) FX-E

Alan's date (Janeane Garofalo) behaves strangely after they have sex; and Charlie acts weird following a meeting with his mom. Margaret: Jennifer O'Dell. Mitzi: Holly King.

Thu Feb 5 5:00pm
Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo(Season 5, Episode 3) FX-E

Having grown tired of young vacuous women, Charlie lets Alan arrange a date for him with a woman (Ming-Na Wen) his own age. Deedee: Jud Taylor. Donna: Kimberly Quinn. Luanne: J.J. Rodgers. Bailiff: Kurt Scholler.

Thu Feb 5 5:30pm
City of Great Racks(Season 5, Episode 4) FX-E

Charlie is ready to consummate his relationship with Linda (Ming-Na Wen), but he keeps seeing the face of Rose (Melanie Lynskey) everywhere he goes. Dr. Freeman: Jane Lynch. Flight Attendant: Anna Graves.

Thu Feb 5 9:01pm
Boompa Loved His HookersNew CBS

Lyndsey asks Alan to move in with her, but he's not sure it's the right thing to do. Meanwhile, Walden worries that Louis' adoption could be in jeopardy if he breaks up with Ms. McMartin.

Fri Feb 6 12:00pm
Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo(Season 5, Episode 3) FX-E

Having grown tired of young vacuous women, Charlie lets Alan arrange a date for him with a woman (Ming-Na Wen) his own age. Deedee: Jud Taylor. Donna: Kimberly Quinn. Luanne: J.J. Rodgers. Bailiff: Kurt Scholler.

Fri Feb 6 12:30pm
City of Great Racks(Season 5, Episode 4) FX-E

Charlie is ready to consummate his relationship with Linda (Ming-Na Wen), but he keeps seeing the face of Rose (Melanie Lynskey) everywhere he goes. Dr. Freeman: Jane Lynch. Flight Attendant: Anna Graves.

Fri Feb 6 4:00pm
Putting Swim Fins on a Cat(Season 5, Episode 5) FX-E

Charlie babysits Linda's 4-year-old son, and he must find ways to keep the boy entertained. Linda: Ming-Na Wen. Clinician: Ernie Grunwald. Gary: Matt McKenzie.

Fri Feb 6 4:30pm
Help Daddy Find His Toenail(Season 5, Episode 6) FX-E

Jake sneaks out to a concert that Alan told him he couldn't attend. Meanwhile, Charlie's girlfriend is embarrassed to be seen in public with him. Melina: Jeanine Giovanni. Councilman Stewart: Richard V. Licata.

Sat Feb 7 10:00am
The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room(Season 5, Episode 7) FX-E

An argument with Charlie prompts Alan to take Jake and move in with Evelyn. Teddy: Robert Wagner. Nina: Simone Kessell.

Sat Feb 7 10:30am
Is There a Mrs. Waffles?(Season 5, Episode 8) FX-E

Charlie may have a new career as a children's singing star. Artie: Richard Kind. Vicki: Ion Overman. Summer: Tina Morasco. Dakota: Lexi Jourden.

Sat Feb 7 11:00am
Tight's Good(Season 5, Episode 9) FX-E

Charlie fights his attraction to his soon-to-be stepsister (Jenny McCarthy). Teddy: Robert Wagner.

Sat Feb 7 11:30am
Kinda Like Necrophilia(Season 5, Episode 10) FX-E

Alan learns that it was Charlie who stole his high-school girlfriend years ago, and now he wants to get revenge. Gabrielle: Justine Eyre. Charity: Laura McLauchlin.

Sun Feb 8 1:00am
The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room(Season 5, Episode 7) FX-E

An argument with Charlie prompts Alan to take Jake and move in with Evelyn. Teddy: Robert Wagner. Nina: Simone Kessell.

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