So You Think You Can Dance
Just in case most of you skipped the first half hour of results (and I recommend you keep skipping it), I watched it for you, and here's what you missed: The El Camino Fire Academy dancing and swinging their hoses to "Hot Hot Hot" for American Express. Not nearly as good as last week's Ford mechanics, but they get points for pyrotechnics. Oh, and we said goodbye to Craig and Michelle. Thankfully, this week the producers wised up and threw in some fun genres and I think made sure no two couples did the same dance. First, flawless Blake and Ashlé did a crowd-pleasing rock-'and-roll number that would have made Danny Zuko and Cha Cha DiGregorio proud. They set the bar rather high, so the judges weren't all gushing praise for Artem and Melissa's paso doble. Artem loved showing off his "face of the bullfighter," but that seemed to intimidate Melissa, who looked stiff and uncomfortable compared to the dazzling confidence she had the first two weeks. By the way, I wonder what Artem's wife thinks of the way he keeps meaningfully nuzzling his partners? Mia said it best about Allan and Melody: "beautiful, awkward and odd." Big Poppa tried so hard, but instead of expressive, he was effeminate, and poor Melody danced her little butt off to compensate. I enjoyed Ryan and Snow's tricky hip-hop performance even given the terrible camera work that never showed them both at the same time. But they inspired the quote of the night: "Dan taught me a word a couple of weeks ago, 'badass'; unfortunately, the dancing was just half of that word." Heh-heh. Oh. Nigel meant bad, not, well.... Second-best quote of the night: "Thank god I've been lifting weights!" Though Jamile didn't really mean that Destini was heavy, for his safety, I hope she didn't hear that. They weren't quite on the beat, but they sure looked pretty waltzing around the room. Nick and Kamilah brought down the house with their disco, managing to be sexy and flashy while still getting all those technical moves. The bottom four were pretty obvious, and I'm guessing Snow and Allan are out. The Siberian's bizarre European techno thing sealed her fate, and Allan's cute thug act couldn't top Ryan's elbow spins. Ow!   Sabrina Rojas Weiss

Rock Star: INXS
Finally, viewers are getting their rocks off! The series achieved its highest ratings yet on Tuesday. Apparently, rock is alive and well and living on CBS two nights a week. It's about damn time, man. For me, nothing says Wednesday night quite like the combination of happy hour at my local pub and elimination hour with the INXS guys. And tonight I'm particularly excited to see who gets cut off.

With J.D. joining Ty and Jordis in the bottom three, I'd say the former Elvis impersonator is as DOA as the King was on that sad August day. After enduring J.Diva's ill-prepared studio session, it's now or never for INXS to kick him to the curb. At least that's what my colleagues down the hall, David and Carol, and I think. But it's not to be. Instead, it's bye-bye for Ty, who sheds a few tears and laments the success of "[his] people" in rock. I guess he's right, but what about Hendrix? Phil Lynott? Arthur Lee? Each is/was a successful rock genius and a man of color. Regardless, I'm certain that if anyone is going to go on to better things after this show, it's Ty, who has a surplus of charisma and talent. What I'm uncertain about, however, is the legitimacy of keeping J.D. around. Is he a reality ringer? A singing Omarosa, so to speak? Hmmm if that Elvis wannabe makes it to the finale, I'll be of a suspicious mind for sure.  Joseph Hudak